Worried Sick!

[Crissy]

:( Hi All, 1st time in reading this forum, you all sound so friendly and helpful!
I'm 9 weeks into my 1st; an older mum at 40 and am worried sick about what can happen in this first trimester. Have been told that being an older mum can bring more complications etc. This is a miracle baby, as I was told that I would not be able to have any at all, and bingo! Still in shock, but getting excited, and also getting a little frightened. Any hints or friendly advice to calm me down?

[alicesmum]

hi crissy
what you are feeling is completely normal. you'd be abnormal if you were completely unphased by it all!

I am only 29, but I had a few weeks in my first trimester of constantly thinking "oh god, what if it doesn't stay. what if it miscarries" etc etc. SO I don't think it's only "older mums" who worry.

A friend said to me at that point, "well, if it's meant to stay put, it will, and if it's not meant to, it's better off that way anyway" which, altho true, didn't do anything to make me wory less. ;)

I think just keep reminding yourself that it's normal to feel like you do and that it will soon pass. Things can go wrong with pregnancies right up until the end (my best girlfriend who has posted some messages on here lost her baby girl 11 days after birth, and others have had complications in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters). No happy topic of course, but it means that there is always the possibility of problems. But remember, the majority of babies are born well and healthy.

Maybe just keep colecting stories about older mums for whom everything has gone well (there is a forum on here for older mums...I'm sure that has lots of nice stories). Definitley DON'T seek out horror stories....they are always best avoided during pregnancy! A friend of mine is 43 and thought she was starting to go through menopause when she found out she was pregnant with her third. Everything went swimmingly for her and she now has a beautiful 8 mth old boy (and 2 much older girls).

Also, maybe spend the next few weeks writing down your feelings and thoughts in a journal (you'll love reading back over it later....I did). And do nice things for yourself, and maybe distract yourself with lots of activities (movies are good since you can't have much coffee or wine!!!).

All the very best with it. Pls let us know how everything goes. :p

rachel.

[yummmmy_mummy]

im not a older mum im only 19 but i was given a book as a present when my little princess was born and while reading it i found a chapter on older mums u may find it helpful and i found the book in general very helpful it puts it to you straight with no nonsense. it's called "Babies! a parents guide to enjoying baby's first year" By Dr Christopher Green i surrgest that any new mum go out and buy it

[willsmum]

Hi Crissy,

I was 35 for my first and 38 for my second. I had all sorts of hassles that turned out Ok because I just went with the flow and got the best medical advice I could.

If you need info on coping with:

toxoplasmosis, placenta praevia, gestational diabetes, early bleeding, transverse lie, c-sections, then let me know.

Gee, when you line' em all up like that I look like a disaster area - but really my pregnancies were very, very normal and both my babies were extremely healthy.

Vicky

[WeThree]

hi crissy, im afraid i cant really help with your worries regarding being an older mother etc, however i can reassure you that your anxieties regarding your babies health are completley normal. each of my pregnancies i loved being pregnant but i was contstantly worried(almost convinced ) that there was something wrong with my baby that hadnt shown up or something bad was going to happen, and each pregnancy my husband would constantly be like 'you thought this way with such and such remember and everything was fine' for most woman its not till they have that baby in their arms and they can see for themselves that they really stop worrying.(of course then you start worrying about other things!) at least that is the experience of most woman that i have spoken to. pregnancy is the most exciting, scary, wonderful time of your life, so try to put those worries in the back of your head and enjoy feeling your baby grow, and take things as they come. good luck! :)

[blacktulips]

Hi Chrissy,

I'm 40 years old but this is number 5 for me. My kids are 21 19 15 11.

When I found out I was pregnant I was in total shock, as I was told all the bad things about being my age and pregnant.

I have 5 weeks togo and so far everything is good. I was offered all the test that go with being and older mum. But I decined them all.

I did have a problem with being 40 but that was due mainly to me listing to people who would often say you are to old. Have an abortion, you can't cope blah blah blah.

I have alot of medical problems, and technically I shouldn't even be pregnant, but Im and very excited. can't wait to hold him.


In the 1st I did find that I was very very tierd, Iam a stay at home mum and was able to rest as much as I wanted. I had morning sickness and the only thing I could eat was baked beans, so until I was about 16 weeks that's all I lived on.

I couldn't stand the smell of meat at all in fact any thing that was cooked.

My boobs hurt alot more so than with the others I felt like I was carrying 10 bowling balls. But that has gone away. Funny thing is thou because of age the boobs have fallen over the years. up side is that since being pregnat they have lifted a little bit.

When I first found out I was pregnant I was on some very strong dangerous medication they cause birth defects. So until I had my scan done I did worry. I was told that my baby would more than likely have no arms and legs, but even thou I knew this I still went a head with the pregnancy. I was taken off the medication slowly I have had a few problems but it is worth it.

I know that It is very hard not to worry becasue you will. I admit I also until I had my scans done at 18 weeks, was very scared, but when I saw my little boy with arms and legs and everything in its right place, it was like a dark cloud had been lifted and for the first time I really started to enjoy everything even the problems along the way.

I know there are no grantuees but I have the same chances as anyone else.

I guess i could say to you is. regaurdless of your age you are a mummy to be. listen to your body. There are plenty of us older mums out there who have normal pregnancy with happy boncing babies. Take all the advice and throw out what you don't need. otherwise you could send yourself crazy.

You are normal, we all, dosn't matter what age will be scared and worried at some point. So welcome to the club. It just what mummy's do.

Cheers
Colleen

[Mischief]

Hi Chrissy!

Good luck! As lots of others have said, things can go wrong no matter what age you are!

i guess, talk lots with your doctor, and try to relax. ;)

I'm sure you will have a happy and healty baby in just a few short months!

Kat