Am I too young to become a mum?

[hepburn7]

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[QTB]

I know the feeling... i was nannying, looking after twin newborns - right thru til they were 4... all iv ever wanted was marriage, and a family...

I met my now husband and he was as keen as i was to get married and have babies... (we were engaged 2 hours after we met!) i was 21 and he was 20 when our bubba was born (completely planned) - we are now 23 and 22 and love our lives and our baby!

so no- i dont think its too young at all :)

[Chelle123]

Hi,
My opinion (and I'm not an expert), is that you need to sort things out with your partner first. If he isn't ready or committed, then it probably isn't the right time for you to think about having a baby.

Please don't think that I'm only saying this because you're 22, because I'm sure there are plenty of women older than you in the same position, even some who are already married.

[SassyMummy]

I think 22 is a decent age to have a child... I had my daughter at 19, and that was too young IMO...but at least I had school out of the way and lots of family support.

I'm KINDA in the same boat as you now though...

Although I already have one child, she wasn't planned so it's not like DP was ready for her when she came along. She has turned 2 today, and I'm getting a bit panicked, thinking that I NEED to have another soon if I want her to have a close relationship with her sibling.

DP, however, could not be less interested. It's hard - because there's not much in the way of compromise when it comes to stuff like this. One person wins, and the other loses out.

No advice...

[Laksa]

i think both of you need to be ready (regardless of age...) so it sounds like you will have to wait until he is!

[hepburn7]

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[missie_mack]

Hepburn,

You need to talk and find out when he will be ready to move in together and then after then how long before he would like to have children. If these don't fit in with your plans you then need to decide whether you can wait for his time or should you move on. Nobody else can give you the answer to this.
My only advice is that during your 20's we have sometime up our sleeve so its not a need it now gotta have it (even if you can feel clucky knocking at the door) finding the right father for your children is an important task. It will always effect you and your children whether we like to admit it or not. They will always be a factor in your life even if they move on without you. A good partner can make life easy when you have a baby. They can help with the baby with finances and emotional support.

Final advice given to me by my mother (who was a unmarried mother who ended up marrying my father and not long after seperating him)
1) Live with a man before you marry/have children with them. She knew 13 weeks into her marriage she should never had married him- they hadnt lived together before
2) Babies don't make relationships they make them harder and often break them. I really thought this one was harsh until I had a baby She is right if things arern't strong to begin with they do add extra stress on the relationship and can break them.

Hope this helps and good luck with your decision.

[QTB]

Thanks :D yes, you are so right! i am veryyy lucky that my DH feels the same about kiddies as i do! It would be really hard if he didnt!

I sooo kknow how you feel htough when i was nannying i was soooo clucky (before i met DH) and my boyfriend at the time was sooo not interested in kids (looking back now im thinking thank goodness! lol) basically i was just waiting for him to come round... (til i broke up with him over something else) but yes distraction is the key! I concentrated on 'preparing for pregnancy' loosing weight, getting fit, stuff like that...

[our little treasures]

At your age I was booking my wedding adn planning our future as husband and wife and mummy and daddy. We have had everything mapped out with our future together. He was ready and I was ready.

I don't think that your man is ready and therefore your not ready to take that next step. If you don't have solid foundations in a relationship children do make it a lot harder.

I don't think it's an age thing but more is your relationship ready for such a step!

[Jeclipse]

I don't think it's an age thing but more is your relationship ready for such a step!

I totally agree
Im only 17 and i think motherhood was really thrown at me
and i was judged for being stupid for not having an abortion
but i couldnt go through with that..

so now im an excited mum-to-be
after all my start of the year drama's

but it really crabs me .. when people judge mothers on age
it isnt about that
its about the mentality of becoming a mum and if u are in the right mindset

hope u sort everything out:hugs:

[RoarsomeMum]

I think Dr Phil describes this kinda situation as it takes 2 yes's and 1 no... If One of you says No, thats what happens.. A child is the legal responsibility of both of you.. Its not fair to say "it can't all be about him" in this situation..

(that said, HUGE :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: It must be so hard to want something so much and have to wait.. I hope your DP comes around soon.. talk to him lots about it and your wants/needs.. Perhaps he will be ready sooner than you think:hugs:)

[Mum&bubs]

Nope, I don't think your too young at all. Age has nothing to do with it really it all depends on how you & your partner feels and if its something you REALLY want to do because it's a lifelong comittment for all of you.
Good luck!

[Freya]

wel i cant say ur to young to be a mummy COZ IM 16!! lol.. While i am not in the ideal situation i wouldnt change my life for anything! Although i do think that if ur partner is not ready its best not happening just yet... My ex said he was ready we were engaged to be married, i converted to his religion, he wanted a baby for 2 years b4 i fell pregnant.... Hes now left me... He might of said he was ready but really he wasnt.. i think that maybe you should wait till he is ready that way you can both be the best parents you can be... and the stress of how he would react would not be worth it babe... well good luck!!

[lillismummy]

yeah i agree with many above me.... you need to both be ready for the massive commitment having a baby is. I have no doubt that you would be a great mum tho. And as for being a too young... techniclly our bodys start getting read for this from the age of 13 and 18 is the prime time for womens bodys to have children plus as some wise person once said age is in the mine.

did any of that make sence????

[christen]

All of you have made great points on this topic!!

I think that you need to talk with your dp about it and make sure he is ready too, i also think you need to think about how you would feel if he did say he was ready and then things didnt work out between you...do you think you would cope ok with that??

I know thats not the most supportive thing to say but i thought it was worth putting out there!!

BTW you are not too young to have a baby at all!!! i was 16 weeks along at my 21st ''party'' i had lots of milk to drink while everyone else had champers and beer!!!!

[neostudded]

I pretty much agree with what everyone else has already said, goodluck with everything.

[M~T~J~M]

I met my now husband and he was as keen as i was to get married and have babies... (we were engaged 2 hours after we met!)

WOW!! Seriously? Now that's really keen, lol!! How long after this were you married?

Anyway, back to topic....I was also working with children and had wanted to have babies for as long as I could remember. I fell pregnant when I was 22 and gave birth a couple of months before my 23rd birthday. I then went on and had my 2nd children at 24yrs, and my 3rd child at 26yrs.

I don't think it's too young. If you and your partner are ready for it, then it's your decision.

[HugsAndKisses]

hey there i had my son at 19...he wasnt planned exactly...he was no accident though cause hubby and i knew what may happen and did it anyway....hehe heat of the moment i guess....

but anyway my point is my hubby....boyfriend at the time hehe wasnt really ready to become a dad and its been really hard on him and me...were lucky we have pulled through and have managed to keep our relationship strong and all is well....but the point im trying to make is that you really should both be making this particular decision...it is a massive commitment and a huge life changing thin...it is great but both of you need to be ready for it.....
good luck i wish you all the best:fingerscrossed: :hugs:

[Miss_Vicki]

I dont think it has anything to do with age , But timing an maturity :)

Your Quote "But heres the thing I am only 22yrs old and my boyfriend of 3yrs is 25yrs old. He is definitely not ready - he has only been working full time for 2 years and isn't settleled in his job yet. ""

Its like you know the answer but your cluckness is controling/clouding how u feel :) There is no need to rush u are still younge :)
Just rember lookin after other ppls babies are alot diffrent to havin your own (IMO)

[jaydensmum]

Hi there, everyone here has made great points. :yes: Its not about the fact of age thats important its whether you are both able to provide for the baby and i dont mean just financially. Im 22 and have 3 children(unfortunately one is now in heaven) it hasnt been easy but ive managed. Even though my DH and i have had our differences he has always stuck by me and the kids. I think that its important for you to both work out what both of you really want. The baby will be both your responsibilty so both of you have to make the decision. Good luck with it all! :hugs:

[hepburn7]

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[Mum&bubs]

Take care of yourself hun :hugs: