Feelings about having a Caesarean

[SassyMummy]

I was just wondering how everyone feels about having a caesarean.

I'm 19 (nearly 20), and thought that Caesarean's were generally for older mothers or smaller mothers...definately not for me (a size 14/16 young mother!). When I found out I had to have one (I just never went into labour...she was 2 weeks late), I was MORTIFIED.

I never wanted one then, and I pretty much wish I didn't have one now (though I can see the lack of pain during sex is a plus side to it all).

The feelings associated with my birthing experience were not really happy ones...and though I'm not as bad as I was 6 months ago, I still feel kinda crappy about having one.

Whenever I think back to it, I just feel sick. I think that's because I actually DID feel sick at the time. I feel shaky and nervous when I think back too... and I think that's due to the fact that I was terrified about having one, and terrified of the pains I felt afterwards when I was told to get out of bed and walk around (I was so scared when the physiotherapist came...I would just shake as if I were cold the whole time she was there).

Does anyone feel badly about their experience? Want to try VBAC next time?

Or on the other side of things, does anyone feel like their experiences with the c-section birth were wonderful and want to go back next time round?

[rynosmum]

Make sure you talk to JanetF (you may want to send her a PM). She is heavily involved in helping ladies to move from a potentially negative birth experience - quite often brought about by unwanted (and sometimes unwarranted) intervention and has posted quite a bit on the subject here in the past.

She would be a wealth of knowledge to you here.

I haven't had a C/S so can't provide any advice on that front. All I can say is that hopefully, just having your beautiful baby in your arms - safe and sound - is some consolation, even though the birthing experience certainly wasn't what you had hoped for or expected.

Many hugs for future healing.:)

[JATS]

I had to have one, placenta previa. I'm a young mum too, and when I found out I had to have a c/section I was terrified. I remained terrified about it until the first incision. The epi went in fine, no pain, no problems, went in 1st time, and I didn't feel the first incision, which was prob my biggest fear, that the epi wasn't going to work.

After my bub was out I didn't care anymore! It was a means to and end, and the outcome was fantastic, so I am very happy. I had no major pain or numbness afterwards, the day of and the day after the c/s I was taking a single panadol and that was managing any pain really well!

I got up and showered and had breaky the morning after, before I even took any panadol with no problems (the c/s was at midday FRIDAY), after walking around a bit it got tender so I took a single panadol and that took care of it!

The surgeon was really impressed with how well I healed and how quickly I recovered. I was out of hospital by 10am Monday! 2 nights in hospital was more than enough.

If I was told I'd need another c/s I'd be fine with that, I really actually enjoyed the experience, although I plan on VBAC, just because I'd like to experience a natural birth if I can.

Amy

[Brooksy]

Hi there,

I gave birth to my daughter 5 weeks ago after 20 hours of labour I ended up having an emergency c/section as i had only dilated 3cm which we later found out it was because i had an extremely short umbilical cord the shortest the dr had ever seen. I cried when they told me i had to have a c/section but was relieved that finally our baby was coming, but i was really petrified as everything happened so fast i was so glad that dh was with me the whole way through. I had to have 4 spinal tap needle as the epidural i had earlier had fallen out.

We were told afterwards that if i hadn't had the c/section that bub and i wouldn't have made it, so i feel extremely lucky that we got through having the c/section.

If we decide to have another baby in a few years i would have another c/section just because the dr said you can't see how long the umbilical cord is and i don't want to go through 20 hours of labour and then having a c/section as it's very tiring and traumatic for everyone involved. I was in hospital for four days and was glad to get home with bub, but i had a bit of delayed shock about having the c/section mainly cause of the short umbilical cord and what could of happened and also as i wasn't prepared for having a c/section.

anyway today after 5 weeks i am feeling great and my little girl Rhiannon is healthy and such a good baby which is the main thing.

brooksy

[Mamaduke]

I've had 2 c/s, one emergency and one elective.
With my first (the emergency) I was so grateful that I was able to hold this poor little boy who had put up a good fight but in the end needed to come out, that the fact that I had a c/s paled in comparison to what I felt when I held him.
With my second son I was advised to have a c/s and there would be alot of militants (for want of a better word) who would say that I should have tried a VBAC etc etc but to be honest my needs/wants didn't matter...all I needed was to have a healthy baby.
I have researched VBAC's and spoken to professionals (including a midwife who knows my history) and have been advised to have a c/s with any future pregnancies...to me the birth of a baby is not "what I want to happen" or "what I expect/need", it's about getting that beautiful baby that you've carried for the past 9 months into your arms in the safest way possible...for me that's a c/s...thinking of my desires first and foremost would be just plain selfish.

[JATS]

Good on you Carly :)

I'm open to VBAC but if I were told by my doctor a c/s would be safer for my baby I'd take the safer option. I may be criticized for it but I trust my doctor 110%

Amy

[Mamaduke]

I may be criticized for it but I trust my doctor 110%
Amy
Why should anyone be criticised? This is how ridiculous this c/s vs v/b is...shouldn't we all just respect each other's decisions?
This may sound harsh but the thing is, I trust my ob, not only because he is qualified and gifted at what he does, but because he and I both know, if he stuffs up and hurts my baby I have the potential to take his livelihood away.

[reAllytee]

Why should anyone be criticised? This is how ridiculous this c/s vs v/b is...shouldn't we all just respect each other's decisions?
This is something that really gets me also !!!!
Does it matter how the baby comes into the world really NO !
If they are healthy thats all that matters !
I would love to say that i could have my next baby vaginally again but i can assure you if any one mentions a risk again like with bubs then i will glady go the c-section route !

SassyMummy - Im sorry to hear your birthing experience wasnt what you wanted neither was mine but i guess im lucky so to speak as bubs was still delivered vaginally but at the same time it still wasnt what i wouldve wanted. I guess there will always be something for us all to whinge about in some way but the thing to keep you going should be your gorgeous bub ! :D
I would advise you speak with someone as maybe your coping with it all now but at the same time you seem to have some issues with it all still ( not meaning that in a bad way btw ) so its best to seek help early on. Trust me ive left things alone in the past that i shouldve dealt with & have paid the price.

[Mum2Tyla]

Hi,
I had planned to have a natural drug free water birth, but ended up having an emergency caesar, she was 2 weeks late, I went into hospital on wednesday at 4pm at 6pm had the gel put in at midnight started contracting was checked at 6am but had only dilated to 2cm but was contracting too much to have more gel the contractions then became quite painful I tried the bath but did nothing asked for gas was told was too early so was given morphine all it did was make me vomit and fall asleep between contractions, I was having alot of back pain which i later found out was due to the fact that she was posterior but every time I rolled off my back her heart rate went up so I spent 17hrs of contractions on my back hooked up to monitors at 1am after 13hrs of contractions I had an epidural and was put on a syntocin drip, every time they tried to increase the syntocin her heart rate went up, I was checked at 60m and I was only 4cm dilated so they decided to do a caesar, she was born at 7.21pm. So as you can see her birth did'nt exactly go according to plan, she then also spent 5 days in the special care nursery as she was having episodes of going blue and having a low heart rate, but she is now fine and healthy and at the ned of the day that is all that matters.
Kelly

[bekkyboo]

thinking of my desires first and foremost would be just plain selfish.
Thank you for saying that... I have had many thoughts on this situation, and i lately i have been thinking that i would like to have a v/b... Your comment made me remember the risks id be taking with mine and my babies health due to my heart condition.... Thank you again...

SassyMummy - Im sorry that you had such a terrible experience... I hope that as time goes on, you will feel better about it all.

[whatwasithinking]

Both my girls were c/sections - had no choice with number 2 and number 1 I was in labour but didn't "progress". I really don't have any feelings on the matter as I don't know any different. Though in hindsight the thought of an 8lb 6oz baby with big head coming out of a hole the size of coin doesn't exactly excite me. :eek:

[pegasus]

I never thought I'd have a c-section, anytime! The fact is that best laid plans often go astray.

At the end of the day I'm glad neither my bub or I suffered a negative birth experience. I had been hoping for a VBAC, but like LMTB, my OB has suggested that another c/s will probably be safest for both me and my bub. Better to be with something that pretty much guarantee us a good, safe outcome than something that might result in forceps, vaccuum, a 20 hour labour etc and stressed bub and mum that might need an emergency c/s.

I'm still hoping for a VBAC (Dr has said that if I go into labour early and bub is relatively small then it might be a possiblity), but can anyone tell me why I feel some strange need to do so? Considering the positive birth experience I had with DS why should I feel the need to try the VBAC option? It's certainly not to improve any bonding or such - that's poppycock.:confused:

[Mamaduke]

but can anyone tell me why I feel some strange need to do so? Considering the positive birth experience I had with DS why should I feel the need to try the VBAC option? It's certainly not to improve any bonding or such - that's poppycock.:confused:

I never felt the need/want to have a vaginal birth until I came to this forum...
the fact that there are certain members of this forum (and others I'd suspect) who bully us with extremist ideas (even to go as far as suggesting children of c/sections could be mentally traumatised and turn to drugs/alcohol in later life as a result) and spew forth link after link of 'evidence' that would start anyone wondering 'can I' or 'should I'.
I've wondered the same and if you spend time reading these posts it does start to play on your emotions & capabilities.
Don't get me wrong, I believe the majority are here to honestly and whole-heartedly help & share their stories and that is what makes this forum wonderful, but when the 'activists' &/or 'militants' start preaching I've learned to turn off...I've spoken to the professionals that I need to regarding the possibility of a VBAC & they have advised me against it...I've researched both sides of the 'never ending' argument and I am now at peace with my decision...which I thought I was in the first place...I've just gone full circle really!

[bec79]

Hi sassymummy,
I can really sympathise with you. I had an emergency c/section 6 months ago and it is certainly not an experience I would like to repeat. Don't get me wrong like some others have already said..I am grateful that I have a healthy and happy baby. I have a very low threshold for pain, so it wasn't the actual c/section procedure that bothered me...it was the days following! I hated being inhibited in my movement. While other mums were up and about, it was absolute agony for me just to get up to change/feed bub.
I will definately try for a vaginal birth next time, and on the up side if I do have another -/section, at least I'll know what to expect.

[Mamaduke]

bec79,
After my first c/s I had to be up and about in order to see Jesse who was in special care. This helped my recovery so much! My friends were amazed at how well I was walking and coping and I put it all down to getting up and around. With my second c/s I made a real effort to do a lap (or two) each day of the maternity ward pushing Lucas in his little box...it was shuffles at first but it really does speed up recovery.

[reAllytee]

The outcome of a vaginal birth isnt always as easy as we expect.
I was stitched from ear to ear so to speak & was far from able to get up & about to bubs but i did it ! I had to i mena who else would but i also believe this is the best thing to do & it helped me get home quicker thats for sure as well as coping a little easier than a woman opposite me who had a little graze who needed a pillow to sit on :rolleyes:
In some ways i would have rathered the c section route as i wouldve been in the same boat really without all that damage to my nether regions !
Oh the joys of childbirth !

carlyb & pegasus - Again i commend you ladies on what you have written ... Sometime we just dont have swinging gate pelvises :p

[Goosie22]

[quote=carlyb]I never felt the need/want to have a vaginal birth until I came to this forum...
the fact that there are certain members of this forum (and others I'd suspect) who bully us with extremist ideas (even to go as far as suggesting children of c/sections could be mentally traumatised and turn to drugs/alcohol in later life as a result) and spew forth link after link of 'evidence' that would start anyone wondering 'can I' or 'should I'.
I've wondered the same and if you spend time reading these posts it does start to play on your emotions & capabilities.
quote]

Isn't the point of this forum to share ideas and information??? I don't feel bullied by somebody pointing out information and sharing their experience just because it is different to mine, that's life. However I take an acception to people saying their experience/information is more valuable somehow than anothers. People are only sharing their experiences and helping each other with information that may be of use in preventing some difficulties they may not have forseen or understood.:)

The World Health Organisation is not some two bit set up that sprukes of unfounded research. They say the C/S rate in Australia is to high they set the percent at 10% some private hospitals have rates higher than 50%.

Sorry no link;)

[Mamaduke]

I rest my case!

[lukaelmo]

Hey there,

About 36 weeks into my pregnancy I was told I had to have a c-section if the dude didn't turn around soon, so off I toddled to have acupuncture and voila he turned around and happy days for me.

Popped into hospital and after a few hours of labour, the dude was going downhill and I was told I needed a c-section.

From that moment on, although I wasn't in control, I really felt as though I was in wonderful hands. I had a midwife at my head the entire time, it seemed as though she was the official hand holder, she just constantly reassured me and told me how fabulously I was doing.

The anaethetist was also lovely, playing with his little ice cubes and explaining everything to me.

After the op the surgeon came by to go over everything that had gone on, and to reassure me that all was well.

Funnily enough, as much as I was inspired with confidence by that medical team with their calm professionalism, I was so let down with the nurses in special care, who seemed not to give a flying special care about me wanting my baby :confused:.

For my next birth I would love to try natural, just because the thought of going in to a c-section cold gives me the heebie geebies!

[JanetF]

A certain percentage of all births *needs* to end in a c-sec but it depends what kind of careprovider you choose how likely that is to happen. Obviously if you hire a surgeon, which is what Obs are, you have a much higher likelihood of having surgery that you probably don't need. Try this Australian study done by a midwife and an obstetrician:
http://acegraphics.com.au/articles/sally01.html

Interventions like induction, epidurals and other ways to interfere in the delicate mechanisms of birth only cause more problems when they're not medically indicated in the first place. For example, a woman experiencing the problems of pre-eclampsia might be well-advised to try induction but a woman with a healthy baby on board at 41+something doesn't need an induction simply on dates. Those are the times when technology does not serve us.
This article by Marsden Wagner explains this very well and I left his biog so you can how he is wellqualified to make his assertions:
http://acegraphics.com.au/articles/wagner03.html
Fish can't see water: The need to humanize birth in Australia
by Marsden Wagner (MD, MSPH)
Marsden began his career in public health as a neonatologist and epidemiologist, firstly in California then Denmark. He retired from a distinguished career as head of Maternal and Child Health for the European Office of the World Health Organisation (WHO), he now acts as a consultant for WHO in the emerging countries of central and eastern Europe. He chaired the three consensus conferences convened by WHO on appropriate technology around the time of birth and is in demand as an international speaker for his forthright support of midwifery and midwives.


This is another quote from WHO:
Dr Gro Harlem Brundtland
Director-General
World Health Organization Oslo
19 June 2002

"Perinatal Mortality and Morbidity - a Global View"
XVIII European Congress of Perinatal Medicine
http://www.who.int/director-general/speeches/2002/english/20020619_XVIIIEuropeancongressofperinatalmedicine. html


Lately, we have seen disturbing signs of what we can only call "fashions" of interventions sweeping over several developing countries which not only do not represent the best use of these limited resources, but also could be dangerous.
There is an ongoing "epidemic" of cesarean sections in Asia and Latin America. This worldwide fad of obstetrical interventions may have a serious negative health impact on women. In contrast, the low rates observed in Africa reflect a lack of resources more than a consensus of providers.
The commercial and litigation pressures that drive this "epidemic", need to be countered. Professionals in industrial countries have an important role to play. You could build stronger strategies to promote evidence-based interventions and develop strategies to prevent or reverse harmful practices.

Australia is only about 28th in the world (it alters slightly but not significantly) in perinatal outcomes, which means that 27 other countries have lower maternal and child death rates than we do. They are countries like Sweden and Japan where surgeons are not primary carers for healthy, pregnant women.

This is an excellent article on VBAC by the midwife who invented the term:
http://midwiferytoday.com/articles/dozen.asp

VBAC. A victory and a relief for most of the women who have one. A deep and generous healing for many of them. And still, very much a sham, because most of the women never really needed to be cut in the first place, so they didn't really need to be VBACs after all. In that respect the whole concept of VBAC is actually, unfortunately, pathetic. In this country the subject of whether or not VBAC is "safe" is also subject to the obstetrical fashion of the hour.

Carly anyone who tells you that surgery is safer is not telling you the truth. An operation with 2-4 (and sometimes more) the rate of maternal death that vaginal birth has, is never going to be safer except in cases of extreme emergency. It's simple logic. It's why heart surgeons try lifestyle measures for their clients before resorting to surgery. All surgery comes with risks and the risks are far greater than normal physiological processes - obviously.

http://acegraphics.com.au/articles/wagner03.html

Obstetric interventions such as caesarian section sometimes save lives and sometimes kills--- maternal mortality even for elective (non-emergency) caesarian section is 2.84 fold or nearly three times higher than for vaginal birth.[3] For fifty years the maternal mortality ratio in the US came down. Then in the 1980's the maternal mortality ratio began to rise and, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it rose from 7.2 in 1987 to 10.0 in 1990.[4] While this ratio continued to decline in other industrialized countries, in the US the maternal death rate continued a slow but steady rise through the 1990s and according to the World Health Organization is now higher than at least twenty other highly industrialized countries.[5]
And those refs so you can check them:
3. Hall M, Bewley S "Maternal mortality and mode of delivery" Lancet 354, p 776, 1999
4. McCarthy B "US maternal death rates are on the rise" Lancet 348:394, 1996
5. World Health Organization. WHO revised estimates of maternal mortality: a new approach by WHO and UNICEF. Geneva, WHO 1996; report no. WHO/FRH/MSM/96.11

That rise in maternal deaths follows the rise of caesareans and the fall in VBAC.

And here's the latest VBA2C study, which was done by surgeons:
"Vaginal Birth following 2 caesarean sections" V.K.Garg, E.N. Ekuma-Nkama. International journal of Gynaecology and Obstetrics (Jan.2005) 88, 53-54.


"205 women with 2 previous sections, delivered vaginally between 1997 & 2002 . 66 Vaginally (32.2%), 71 had elective C/S (34.6%), 68 had emergency C/S....Induction or augmentation of labour was not offered due to increased incidence of uterine rupture. . The complication rate was higher in the C/S group than in the VBAC2 group(19.5% v 7.4%) mean blood loss was higher in the C/S group than the vaginal group. There was no scar dehiscence or hysterectomy in either group. ......Thus, VBAC2 is reasonable and is sucessful with minimal complications if patient selection and labour management is judicious."

You be the judge.

[pegasus]

What a forum is, is individuals sharing their individual experiences. These experiences are sometimes heresay or things that the individual has read (eg. women posting on birth experiences, breast feeding etc when they haven't had a baby) or a one off experience that they have had. Some of us have shared a couple of experiences, but in no way can these experiences be seen as being scientific fact.

Statistics are shared in some posts, but as I've said, there are many ways that statistics can be interpreted, so I reserve judgement for the 'information' contained in them until I see the research that backs them up. Eg. rates of caesarians in private hospitals - how many of these are women choosing them (as was suggested in the West Australian yesterday) to avoid long labours and to "keep up with their peers"? How many c/s are performed because the mother has multiple bubs? How many c/s are performed because the mother's (or bub's life was in danger? How many c/s are performed because the bub is breech and turning has been attempted? How many c/s are performed because the bub is very premature? etc etc...As I said - stats don't show the whole story.

Apart from the first example (which I read in the paper yesterday) I think some of the mum's on this forum have experienced these situations. (I'm not going to comment on the first example as the majority of the mums I've read posts from on this forum were not in this situation). The fact is that when we talk about percentages of c-sections, of course they occur only in hospitals, and more often in private hospitals (as a lot of the women in the above examples - disregard the first, will be attending an OB anyway). Is a c/s to deliver twins considered one or two deliveries?

It is also a sad indictment of our society where we are now faced with more litigation going on in all areas, and these doctors are at a very high risk. I can recall a few court cases in recent years where the parents of a child (usually with cerebral palsy) have sued (and won) the hospital and/or the doctor for their child's disability. I have also worked a lot with children with disabilities and the rate of a lot of these disabilities is on the rise. Including cerebral palsy which is quite commonly caused during the birth process. Do we have the statistics on the number of children who have a disability and were vaginally birthed as opposed to the number of children who have a disability who were born via caesarian? I'd be interested in the answer. Yes the rates of caesarians are seen to be high in this country, but I'm proud of the fact that both my son and I are healthy and were not traumatised by his birth.

[Tisme]

but can anyone tell me why I feel some strange need to do so? Considering the positive birth experience I had with DS why should I feel the need to try the VBAC option? It's certainly not to improve any bonding or such - that's poppycock.:confused:

I really wish I could have a VBAC and this insane optimism on my part is not due to any pressure I feel from anyone around me (I actually feel more determined to have a C-sect the more posts I read AGAINST IT!!!!) but from me inside.

I have a low pain threshold and 2 VERY demanding kids who use me as their jungle gym. I am scared witless of the pain that is at the site of the wound for weeks (months in my last surgery) afterwards. Not the initial "healing" pain. But the pain of sitting for too long then standing up, the pain of a toddler putting their foot in the wrong place as they climb over you to retrieve a ball, and the need to ROLL out of bed. With my v birth I had discomfort and ALOT of trauma, but after the 6 week check up that was gone (until I started having to stress about allergies) but suffice to say after a c-sect you HAVE to look after you and the newborn first and your first child second ... you HAVE to say "sorry I can't pick you up right now", or "honey mum can't walk too fast". And that for me was the hardest part of my emergency c-sect, and is the part I am dreading about this elective as well.

But at the end of all that griping, I am going ahead with the c-sect because like most of you it is the safest option for me and my baby. I don't want to force myself through labour to end up with a baby on resus again, and I don't want the stress of the baby getting distressed by not being able to descend ... I think THESE issues are the things that impact more than surgery on the baby.

Sassymummy - If your baby and you are safe and enjoying each others company then rest assured when you have a 3 or 4 yr old and they ask what the line in your tummy is from you can say in that special voice "that's how you were born my dear. That is how mummy remembers how special and precious you are to me". This is all I think about when I start to slip back into the depression I felt after my emergency c-sect. At least you know you are safe and when you have your next child make sure YOU decide what you want for YOURSELF and what YOUR body needs. Don't listen to ANYONE else when it comes to deciding.

[SassyMummy]

Wow...I didn't intend for this thread to be a vaginal-birth VS C-section...I just wanted to know what others thought after having a caesarean birth. (Or hear from those who are GOING to have one or whatever).

I didn't know I really had the right to choose. I mean, sure, I knew I was signing a paper that said I'd have a c-section...and I knew that I didn't have to sign it...but I kinda felt like I HAD to sign it.

Next time I plan on going private, just so I feel like I kind of have more of a right to choose...since I'm paying and all. I will try VBAC...I will not have a Caesarean unless either mine or my childs life depends on it. I'll also try and find someone who is very pro-VBAC so I can know my own wishes will be upheld.

[iamLisa]

Hi Everyone,

I knew I would most likely be having a caesarean from about 30 weeks. My bub was never in the right position. This didn’t bother me. As long as he was healthy that’s what mattered. I believe not worrying about it helped me to be more mentally prepared for it.
The strange thing for me was that I just walked into the hospital at 7.30 Monday morning, was put on a bed, wheeled into a room where lots of needles were put in me, wheeled into the operating theatre and before I knew it there was a strange little body been shown to me. I didn’t even realise they had cut me open. To me it just felt like bub was playing football in my tummy. It was the most amazing most surreal experience of my life. I was stitched up and taken to recovery then back to my room. It was amazing. I had this little baby and I had no pain. It almost didn’t seem right. My only problem was that the drip hurt my hand. Even days after, I was a little sore but period pains were worse.
I think the staff at the hospital played a big part in making this experience for me so easy. I just wish I had the same help for the first 3 months of his life. Now that was the hard bit. :D

[pegasus]

[QUOTE=SassyMummy]Wow...I didn't intend for this thread to be a vaginal-birth VS C-section...I just wanted to know what others thought after having a caesarean birth. (Or hear from those who are GOING to have one or whatever). [QUOTE]

Hi SassyMummy

Guess the problem is that this is a very emotive topic. I don't think any mother who hasn't had a caesarian can know how it feels emotionally after an c/s (ignore the physical).

Somehow I don't think any of the mum's who've responded to your thread thought from the beginning that they were choosing to have a c/s delivery, and I remember feeling quite taken aback that they put me down as an elective caesarian when I was signing the forms - my thoughts were that this wasn't elective on my behalf, but what was recommended as being best for me and my son. I didn't see that something that someone else had strongly recommended to me was really my choice. Sounds sort of like an election where the party I hadn't voted for had got in - you just accept it till next time and hope your choice happens next time. :p

I didn't feel like I had to sign the form as my doctor was forcing me to sign it, but that he gave me all the scenarios and in all honesty, he delivered about 200 or 300 babies a year (I think) and this was my first baby, who would I think would have a better idea about outcomes, and the best way to get a really positive one. It also makes sense that unless there was a risk to me and/or my baby, why should he deliver via surgery than let me go into labour? As we know, there is a risk with any anaesthetic, surgery brings risk of infection regardless of what it is etc. I was right on my due date, so he wasn't trying to make a golf game.

At the end of the day we do have to trust someone else - if we choose only to trust ourselves, then I guess that's fine too, however, I know with my second baby, I'll be trusting someone other than me who's only had one birth so far, to identify any potential risks to me and / or my baby. As I've said, like you, I would like to try TOLAC with VBAC, but my experience is only very limited and at the end of the day, (even when people tell you to trust your body) I don't necessarily know best (not in this field anyway.;) )

[DB&O]

Hi All,
I had a c/ section after an induction (Liv was 10 days overdue) & 20 hours of labour in which I failed to progress past 3.5 cms dilated, my little girl was doing all the right things but my body just wouldn't do its part however I am not the slightest bit dissapointed. I was able to have my hubbie & sis in the operating theatre with me & got to hold Liv straight away, I was in hospital for a week but managed to shower, dress & care for Liv all in the next day, admittedly daddy was doing most of the lifting in & out of her box but this was also nice for them. I wouldn't get to hung up on the birth, in the end all that matters is holding your baby in your arms.
Brooke.

[rynosmum]

I will try VBAC...I will not have a Caesarean unless either mine or my childs life depends on it. I'll also try and find someone who is very pro-VBAC so I can know my own wishes will be upheld.

Good Idea SassyMummy ! I hope next time goes well for you and that you can get the VBAC that you want. I also hope that you are able to move through the trauma from your first birth. If it's any consolation, I think you're pretty tough going through a C/S. It would petrify me !:D

[SassyMummy]

Thanks again for your responses...though it does make me feel a bit selfish when I read "So long as you and bub are safe and healthy..." etc but STILL can't get over the birth. She WAS healthy...but who's to say she wouldn't have been healthy if I had a natural birth? That's what I get hung up on...the WHAT IFS.

There was never a stage that any doctors were concerned with her health, or thinking she was at risk(before she was born)...it was just that she was late and induction didn't work.

Thanks to those wishing me the best for getting over this birth and for having a VBAC next time round. I really do appreciate it. It's really helpful to hear such comments from other mothers...somehow it seems to have more of an impact than if my partner or friends (who don't have children) says something similar.

Thanks to Janet F for adding some of your research to the post. It was interesting to read and find out some info that I otherwise would have been blind to. It's definately got me thinking that I DEFINATELY want to do it my own way next time... and if THAT bub wants to cook for a bit longer...unless there's problems...then so be it...he/she can cook!

[JanetF]

It's not selfish to want both your baby and you to have a birth that's gentle and empowering. There's nothing selfish about wanting to be emotionally, physically and spiritually intact when you care for your new baby. Actually both you and your baby deserve that, don't you? Don't worry about the "selfish" comments. They're just silly! No one wants to feel bad about how their child arrives in the world but many of us do. It doesn't mean we love our children less, it means we expect to be treated with respect in our lives, and that's a good thing!

[caitsmum]

My first daughter was born via emergency c/section as I had eclampsia and had been fitting. She is now eight and a beautiful, intelligent child. Although it took a long time I no longer have the raw and very painful feelings about her birth. I will always remember it with a touch of sadness for the hurt that myself, my husband and my family went through.

My second daughter was also born via emergency c/section with a general anesthetic at 28/40. It is too complicated to go into to much detail but the short end is that I had ruptured my membranes at 25 weeks, developed an infection despite antibiotics and she had managed to tie a knot in her cord and go into distress. I missed out on her birth all together - but I have got to see her grow up and reach her milestones - which I would not have been able to without a great midwife, Ob and a c/section.

Pegasus - not all parents of child with cerebral palsy blaim the OB. My middle daughter has CP, if it were not for my OB who made the decison I would not have my daugher - with or without CP. My daugher had a very complicated pre and postnatal period, in which there were quite a few factors that could of related to her developing CP. If I blaim anyone, it is myself to some degree for rupturing my membranes early. (Belive me living with that blaim is not easy)

There are many, many, many factors that cause CP and not all of them are related to the birthing process. There is now some very iteresting research by the Adelaide University showing a genetic link with the clotting cascade and CP. Further research is always needed to explore links between the birthing process and adverse outcomes for the mother and child.

[Indigosmum]

Hi Guys,
Indigo was born via C-Section because he was in a breach position, I knew that I was going to have a ceasarean about 8 weeks before he was born and I had to go back each Monday to see if he had moved or was still breach.. So I went in on Valentines Day 05 and he was still breach so I was more than happy to have the procedure and I know have a gorgeous, happy and healthy little boy.

Because I was so scared of childbirth for the first 6-7 months I was gearing myself up for a v-birth and then when I found out a C-section was needed, I was mortified.. I didn't feel any less for the birth, I was just scared about the procedure! I had never had an operation before and this was the only thing that worried me. I didnt worry that I wouldnt bond with my baby or that I would feel less of a mother, because as long as the baby is delivered safely isn't that the main thing? I dont even have a problem with people electing to have c-sections.

I was frightened right up until Valentines Day and then my happiness and elation at the upcoming birth of my little bub overtook my worry and I just let the day go by! I went in at 9:00am and Indigo was delivered at 2:58pm, I didn't go into labour or anything like that and they thought that Indigo was probably only 38-39 weeks when born because he had a lot of vernix covering him. The only part of the operation I dreaded was having the catheter inserted and the drip, everything else was excellent and the whole time I was in recovery I was like 'can I go back to my room now'

I was in a private room in a public hospital which I felt helped so much in my recovery and the way I felt as a first time mom.. I dont think I could have coped if I was in a room with other mums and babies.. I know this sounds snobby but I am a very personal person and with the nurses having to teach me to breast feed (which I never got the hang of) and checking down below, I couldnt have coped.
But I recovered well, I had very bad back pain 7 days after Indigo was born and ended up back in the hospital for the day as they did a series of checks to see if I had clots, but all was oK! thank goodness!

I looked very yellow in the days following my ceasarean and also felt weakened, the nurses kept telling me it was to be expected because I had been through major surgery, however, it wasnt until a later Dr appointment at my GP that I found out I was only 1 measurement away from having to have a blood transfusion apparently I lost tons of blood and he thought they were mad for not giving it to me anyway as my heamoglobin was really really bad! eek. That freaked me out alot.. but as I found that out a few weeks later it wasnt as bad.. if Id found out at the hospital I would have had a fit! lol.

Oh well I would definitely go through a ceasar again, not for a little while though I am loving spoiling my one little guy....

Seeya Ladies
Danielle

[pegasus]

Pegasus - not all parents of child with cerebral palsy blaim the OB. My middle daughter has CP, if it were not for my OB who made the decison I would not have my daugher - with or without CP. My daugher had a very complicated pre and postnatal period, in which there were quite a few factors that could of related to her developing CP. If I blaim anyone, it is myself to some degree for rupturing my membranes early. (Belive me living with that blaim is not easy)

There are many, many, many factors that cause CP and not all of them are related to the birthing process. There is now some very iteresting research by the Adelaide University showing a genetic link with the clotting cascade and CP. Further research is always needed to explore links between the birthing process and adverse outcomes for the mother and child.

Hi Caitsmum

I'm sorry if you took it that all parents blame their doctor if their child has CP. I did not mean to generalise this, infact as far as I was aware CP is a diagnosis given to any child with a brain injury from in utero up until 2years old (a brain injury after this age is called an acquired brain injury) (so definitely doesn't have to be something that is a result of the birth process).

What I was trying to highlight was that there have been some court cases in the last few years where people have sued their doctor and/or their hospital for compensation related to their child's disability and/or trauma experienced by them. This was meant to highlight why some doctors are reluctant to put themselves at risk of litigation and may choose to recommend a surgical intervention, also why some of their fees are so high etc. My comments were in no way meant to start any sort of blame laying.

The other thing that I had wanted to highlight, was that I do know of some cases where the mother has birthed (or commenced to birth) her child without any sort of intervention (surgical or otherwise) and their child has been born with a disability. I was not meaning to imply that every child born without intervention is at risk of this, nor that every child with a disability would have been born without intervention. I was just relaying some of my experiences.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, with a daughter born at 27weeks she is truly a miracle child and one to be cherished. I am sure that you must thank modern medicine that you have her.

[sugar n spice]

well personally after experiencing both i definetly op for the c/s personally i thought the pain after was better. i need to have a c/s next time anyway due to pre - eclamsia and other probs, wont go into detail or i will be hear all night.

[JATS]

I've been thinking lately that I'm not sure if I'd prefer a vbac or repeat c/s.... I mean I realy enjoyed my birthing experience, and I recovered faster than alot of women recover from a natural birth!

Of course if it is safe to do so I will try a vbac but if I'm told there's a problem and I need repeat c/s I'd be pretty happy about it! :D

[babycooper]

to sassymummy,
Ihad a caesarean 16 days ago. I am 22 years old and a size 14:D overdue and after being induced 27 hours later at 1.30am they decided to take me to theatre. My partner was deverstated because he was not allowed to come in and he didn't get to cut the cord. I think it was a weird experience one minute laying there then i wake up and have a baby. The pain aftrewards not being able to move.Then my stitches got infected. I never want to go through that again and i am glad it is over. :o

[Tisme]

BabyCooper - Your partner wasn't allowed in?? That is so unfair. I was lucky I guess with my emergency c-sect he was allowed, but this time around I don't really know if I WANT him to come in with me .... LOL

[SassyMummy]

I was lucky that my partner was allowed in. I was awake for the whole thing. From what I've read, most places only allow partners in the room if the mother is NOT under general anethetic (put to sleep) for the operation. I guess it kinda makes sense - he's a "support person" and if you're out like a light, there's not too much supporting he can do. Still, it mustn't be very nice to just sit and wait without knowing what's going on.

Baby Cooper, I never want to have another one either. But if I have to - well, I guess I'll have to. Let's hope everyone gets the type of birth they'd like (well...as if a painfree birth is possible...lol...but you get what I mean!)

[Indigosmum]

Hi,

My worst fear was having to go under anaesthetic.. because I was having a pre-arranged ceasarean and nothing went wrong (thankfully) I was allowed to stay awake during the whole birthing experience with my partner right by my side. I just found that the actual nurses and particularly the anesthetist was soooo lovely.. talking to me the whole time and making jokes and asking me questions.. (its a shame the actual midwives on the ward werent always as nice as I was in hospital for 7 days!!!!) But yeah if they had of knocked me out for any reason, I would have panicked, particularly if they told me they were gonna knock me out...

I would opt for a ceasarean again second time around only because I am scared about rupturing scars (I have this awful overactive imagination where I constantly imagine the worst!) but when I think about having the operation again I panic and think about all the bad stuff that could go wrong again, that didnt the first time! lol. (The human mind it is a dangerous thing!)

But I think to all those Mums out there that have to have a ceasarean for any reason, dont panic too much, because after the operation I was like... 'is that all? - I paniced for 2 1 1/2 months for nothing!'..... I know other people arent as lucky.. but you never know, you may have a great experience... Just dont let your mind get in the way.

Danielle and Indigo

[fee's]

I understand the initial shock and sick feeling I too was expecting a 'normal' delivery and was told about 30 weeks into my pregnancy that I would need a ceasarian. I had gest diabeties and my Ob didn't want to risk anything.
I had some very negative feelings leading up to the 'booked in day" but strangely enough when it all was said and done I only came away with wonderful memories. I had a good recovery was up 12 -14 hrs after op and although the initial stretch was very painful I had great nurses and physio and havn't looked back.
I hope you can feel better about the process. remember you got through it - that is something to be proud of.

[Biene]

I had my baby by c-sect 10 days ago and I had a great c-sect experience and I wouldn't hesitate to have my next baby the same way.

My DF was there the whole time and they let him 'symbolically' cut the cord by that I mean my ob cut the cord from baby to me and when baby was with the paediatrician they then let my DF cut it again.

For me it was over in 35 mins and I was wheeled back to my room with my baby in my arms :D

My recovery so far has gone well and the hospital made sure I received enough pain medication. No complaints from me!