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kiwibird27
21-07-2007, 21:57
Okay we are going back 1 1/2 months now and my dd has ripped her feeding tube out and while we wait for surgery she has a Nasal Gastric tube to feed her through. It's a bright yellow tube coming out of her nose taped to her face with brown tape. Not very fetching but I am REALLY REALLY used to it!!!

I pop her in the stroller and head to my local shops and honestly think nothing of it. DD's tube is usually hidden from sight and people usually stop and say hello to her cause she is smiley!!!

I get 2 blocks into my journey and she people making that pity look at me.................it doen't click, I hear people telling their children to shhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhh, it still doesn't click, everyone stares at the stroller and runs in the other direction, people look sad, not just one or 2 but everyone avoids eye contact........ I still don't click on (I must of been a bit slow that day) Then one woman comes up to me and says "It's so sad.... so sad" "SORRY?" I say " What do you mean?" Then I look at DD and suddenly realise people can see her tube in her nose, she is still smiling, laughing and playing but people are really upset at looking at her.

I explain she has a genetic disorder and is tube fed and just get :"It's so sad" responses from her so eventually say " Well she looks pretty happy and it's better than being dead I guess" and walk off. ( probably shouldn't of said that but enough was enough,

My DD is a happy, confident, disabled child, I am a happy confident disabled child's mother, I am glad she is happy and not seriously ill like I have seen her, I realised then that I had hardened in a way to other peoples feelings. All i see is my beautiful happy, tube fed daughter, so I apologise if it was you I snapped at!!!!! She now has a new shiny stomach tube that can be hidden so hopefully people can get back to smiling at her


I know there are tube feeders out there, that was a story just for you!!!!!

TeamAwesome
21-07-2007, 22:06
Hi,
I've not been in this sort of situation BUT I have seen a few babies/children with tubes in and all I see is the bits I've highlighted. A happy baby and a happy mummy. I am usually drawn in by kids smiles and so this is what I see and would comment on her being a beautiful happy child to you (which from your Avatar is what I see)

Unfortunately a lot of people can't see past disabilities of any kind and don't know what to say.

I am glad to hear you have a beautiful, happy and confident child and that you are happy with her and her progress!

good luck, I hope the other mums in similar situations have some stories and tips for you.


My DD is a happy, confident, disabled child, I am a happy confident disabled child's mother, I am glad she is happy and not seriously ill like I have seen her, I realised then that I had hardened in a way to other peoples feelings. All i see is my beautiful happy, tube fed daughter,

punkbaby
21-07-2007, 22:12
People can be so rude i dont look twice if it was me i would have stopped and smiled back at her and you!

Even tho ds has a different disablility and its only visual when his walking or talking etc it still sh!ts me that people run the other way when they realise his got something wrong with him! (maybe i need to rephrase that, they think there is something wrong with him!!)

Like your child his a happy confident smiley kid and brings me all the love in the world people can look all they like!

Thank you for sharing!! And for the record i would have said exactly what you would have said too!

kiwibird27
21-07-2007, 22:15
I really don't mind people being curious and asking questions, I get that alot, But it's the whole being negative about my child thing!!! Nevermind maybe I would've been the same had I not had DD

reAllytee
21-07-2007, 22:16
Oh hun :hugs:

Come people just dont know what to say & sometimes its probably best they keep their mouths shut !

Megan is gorgeous & thats the thing when you are able to look past other physical aspects you dont think about it !

Having a disabled mum has made my life growing up very interesting thats for sure & you certainly do become hardened. You also get very quick at saying things back lol.

I really hate that i still havent seen you in ages or even met Megan !!!! I really hope you can make a meet soon so i can !

Nowhere
21-07-2007, 22:18
we usd to get that all the time the looking and looking away poor baby ect now she has her peg no one notices is so much better than an NG is it

i bet you was glad to get the peg re done, what sort of button does she have im so scared of kenz pulling erout she has bard button and if that comes out has to get the surge to put it back in once the stoma has healed we wil change toa mic key i think

punkbaby
21-07-2007, 22:19
I really don't mind people being curious and asking questions, I get that alot, But it's the whole being negative about my child thing!!! Nevermind maybe I would've been the same had I not had DD
Questions and an interest are ok with me its when people start and point fingers and ds asks why people do that that make me angry :(

kiwibird27
21-07-2007, 22:26
we usd to get that all the time the looking and looking away poor baby ect now she has her peg no one notices is so much better than an NG is it

i bet you was glad to get the peg re done, what sort of button does she have im so scared of kenz pulling erout she has bard button and if that comes out has to get the surge to put it back in once the stoma has healed we wil change toa mic key i think

We convinced our surgeon to put a button straight in, they usually go tubes first, it's a nutiport, really cute and tiny, they would have to really pull to get it out, it hurts if they pull it too so I think they learn!!!

http://www.healthcare21.ie/documents/PEFNUTRIPORTGB.pdf

immy
23-07-2007, 09:55
I know how you feel. People stare at my little one who has had a NGT for 10 months now we are finally having the tube in the belly. The worst is that I have it taped quite well on her nose and they think I've injured her or something. Some people just have no idea.

Nowhere
23-07-2007, 10:13
immy im so glad they are doing a gastrostomy on you DD its is the best decision we ever made was to get the g tube done, we also went stright to a button rather than a peg same as kiwimums DD, kenzee has the bard button which they cant pull out them selfs shouldnt be able to

Good luck with the op how soon is it

immy
23-07-2007, 10:20
Mikenzees Mum, thanks. I'm taking everyones advice on this and reading up on it as I know what is best and I am prepared. 3 Gastro's later and we are having it done aprpox 4-6 weeks time. I think she is having the button?