View Full Version : Doesn't want mummy :(
Our first bub was a brilliant sleeper, and I had a funny feeling that #2 wouldn't be, and I'm sort of right!
She sleeps well between feeds overnight, waking every 4-6 hours, but once she feeds she won't settle for me! She screams and screams, and eventually hubby can't sleep through it, comes in, takes her and within 15 min she's asleep in her cot and he's back in bed!
Is it because I smell like milk? I didn't think it would be cause she still does it after a great feed and so isn't hungry, but I can't think of any other reason! Except that she hates me ;)
While I agree that hubby's/partner's should help out, I'm beginning to feel a bit guilty cause he does have to work long hours at a physically demanding job, so if she'll settle for me that would be great!
when that sort of thing happens with my kids, i tell my hubby that he doesn't really have any special touch, its just that they have tired themselves out and are exhausted. i absolutely believe that too ;) (at least in my own little fantasy world :)
what a lucky lady to have such a hubby!
off the top of my head i can't think of any suggestions (big help aren't i, i got a brain block hehehe)
just know that your bub dosen't hate you, and talk to your hubby, mabye he dosen't mind getting up, you never know until you ask him
I have only been a mum for a few weeks but I have experienced that too from time to time. I will try settling my boy for a long time and my husband walks in and - bammo, bubba is asleep quicker than look at him. My mum seems to think it is the fresh hands, the fact that he is calm. Apparently babies can sense their mum's tenseness.
Maybe your husband doesn't mind getting up because it won't be like this forever, at least that's what we keep telling ourselves. 5 1/2 weeks down and how many to go??? :confused:
I sometimes have the same problem, our daughter will only settle with my partner ;) . At other times she will settle better with me. It's interesting, in the morning and overnight she is more likely to call for me, and in the evening she is more likely to want Cathy - she knows the routine.
I'm inclined to agree with Jack's mum that it won't last forever. Things probably even themselves out over the long run. (At the same time I know it can be quite upsetting when our kids appear to reject us.)
I also agree with JLK and Jack's mum that maybe your husband doesn't mind too much. Don't forget you also "work long hours at a physically demanding job."
I hope she does start settling for you just as happily real soon, as it will make life much easier for you all.
I know how you feel Bubbalove. Except my son is now 17 months old. He won't let Mummy put him to bed, it has to be Daddy. But I put that down to him missing Daddy all day long when he is at work.
When I started to wean my son off his mid-early morning feed (3am) I would put one of my hubby's dirty (but not soiled obviously) shirts on. This seem to mask the smell of milk.
You may be able to place bub back down if you can't settle her, pop hubby's shirt on so you smell like Dad, pick her up and try again.
No guarantees here, but it's worth I shot. And just remember she loves you just as much as her Dad.
:) Mum to Alec (Lalla) 17 months and bub due May 2nd
Thanks everyone :) I know it's only temporary, but like has been said, it's hard to deal with! I will try the dirty shirt thing and see how I go, I'll let you know. I think we all forget so quickly what it's like to have such a little baby at home!
Thanks again everyone for your advice and support :)
I know that Jess loves you and this will pass. I like the idea of wearing DH's shirt (one of his bright orange ones might do the trick :D lol). I agree it could be that she can smell your milk or she can feel how anxious you might be getting. Harry does it with us too. I might try for ages to pat him to sleep then Nick walks in two mins later silence. This may seems silly to ask, but is DH doing anything different when he holds her? May be he holds her in a different position or rocks her differently? I don't know just throwing around ideas here. How is she when DH is at work during the day? Does it only happen at night?
She really does love you, you are her mother, this is just a stage she is going through (although be it an annoying one at the moment!!!!!)
Hope some of the other suggestions work for you.
Ahh well, she's off the 'Daddy, I want Daddy' thing now and won't settle for either of us! Iy's only a late evening thing, and I think it's because she's over-tired - took the pair of us 4 hours to get her asleep last night! But today, some lightbulb turned on in my head that said "settle her In her cot!". I blame the new baby hormones ;) So I did that this afternoon, and it only took 20 min and she's asleep! Hope it keeps working tonight
good luck with getting little jessamy to sleep tonight bubbalove! dont worry to much about her settling/or not settling for you, i have found wit hall my babies that if they are not settling for me or my husband and someone else (be it him or me or my mum) comes along and takes them they nearly always go to sleep, i think they just like a change of scenery! i find when tilly will only settle for nath that he really likes it, (i can usually hear him cooing something like 'whos daddys girl, we love each other dont we etc etc :p so cute!) it makes him feel special because when they are this small there is not alot that dad can do for them, (its all about mum and her boobs!) so that can give them a chance to get a bit more involved :)
4 hours you poor things. How was DH this morning? You also for that matter? Hope your new technique of settling in her cot works tonight for you. Just a thought have you tried playing soft relaxing music to her or burning lavender oil to help her settle. I'm just throwing ideas out there......Maybe a bath in the J&J lavender bath stuff, breastfeed then bed, maybe this might help to realxe her and get into a slight routine.
Good luck tonight Sweetie. Call me if you need an ear to cry on........
wasn't too bad, it was from 6.30pm til 10.30pm ;)
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