View Full Version : 10 weeks since I lost my son......
Hello.....
On Sunday November 20th 2005 I discovered that my son had passed away in his sleep.
His name is Samuel and he is 11years old.
Originally I thought he was having a sleep in and just let him be, but then it was becoming too long for my son to sleep in (9am) and that is when I discovered he had passed away.
Samuel is not a sick child, never has been. He is a healthy child.
As to this day we do not have any answers as to why he died.
The death of a child is one thing a parent should not have to face.
It is something I would wish on no-one.
We as parents should never have to bury our children.
Not a second of the day goes by without me thining of my son, my firstborn.
He is always on my mind.
All I want is for him to come home!
If I cant have that I want answers to why he died.
Samuel we are loving you and missing you so so much.
You're completely corrct, no parent should have to bury thier child. I feel for you.. and am deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some answers, even just for you and your healing. My condolences to your family.
I can not even begin to imagine what a sad time this must be for you and the whole family. Just wanting to say that my thoughts are with you.
I hope that you find some peace, and some answers to the many questions that you must have.
dee dee
Ffrenchknickers
29-01-2006, 15:20
Oh my goodness. My heart aches for you, i cant imagine having to deal with this sad sad loss:(
I dont know what to say, it make me want to hold my boys a little closer and not let go.
I wish you all the best and trust that your precious boy is resting peacefully:)
mumoftwoboys2005
29-01-2006, 15:27
My condolences to you and your family. No, it's not right that a parent should have to bury a child, but making it worse is the fact that you don't know why it happened. Are they still deciding/testing or have they just said "we don't know"? Take heart in the fact that he went to sleep. I am really sorry I don't really know what to say as it has never happened to me (and I pray that it never does) {{{{HUGS}}}} to you.
Your story bought me to tears:( your poor little boy. :(
I am so sorry for your loss, and i hope you find the answers you need, I have a 9 yr old son and i cannot imagine what it was like for you finding him this way, nor the sorrow that you and your family must now be feeling.
My thoughts are with you and your family and your darling Samuel.
Blessings.
xxx
Foxymoron
29-01-2006, 15:35
:(
((gentle hugs))
I can't even imagine how hard it is for you to bear such a loss, my heart goes out to you at this sad time.
Melissa1983
29-01-2006, 15:42
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must have been so hard for you and your family. Sorry to ask this, but you don't have to answer it, is it harder because you don't know the cause of his death?
*hugs to you*
Blessed Mum
29-01-2006, 15:45
My heart goes out to you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through. Yes you are right no parent should have to bury their child. I truly hope you get some answers. As mentioned in one of the previous posts is there any chance you will or not???
Take gentle, gentle care of yourself, thinking of you.
thirdtimeround
29-01-2006, 15:54
I am so sorry for yours and your families lost. When I first read the heading of your post I expected to find that you had lost a baby. I was exceptionally upset when I read that your son was 11. Cannot imagine how you are coping or not coping. I also have an 11 year old daughter and hold her very close at the moment. I think sometimes we take things for granted and it takes a story like yours to bring us all back to the preciousness of all of us.
I had a stillborn baby 12 years ago and understand loss. I couldnt understand though what it would be like to lose a child who you have watched grow and develop their own personalities over 11 years.
My thoughts are with you right now. Nothing I can say can help the numbness. Really hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Me 33
dp 33
dd 11
ds 3
ds 9 mnths
dd would be 13 no longer here
LittleBoysRock
29-01-2006, 18:04
I think this is every Mother's worst fear! I can't begin to imagine the pain this has caused you and your family.
I understand the need for answers, I would be the same.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm truely sorry for your loss. It is hard and hope you and your family get the answers some day soon. (((((HUGS)))))
Best Wishes
my heart goes out to you.. how awful and truly sad to bury your own child!
I hope one day you can have answers! I am sure he knows how much he is truly loved!
Your story has brought tears to my eyes - it is my worst nightmare and my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope that you can find some answers and start to heal but understand that he will always be with you.
missyjay
29-01-2006, 20:04
what a horific thing for you to go through. No one should bury a child I agree. As parents we expect to out live our children. My heart goes out to you and your family. God bless
Lissa
What a horrible thing for one to go through, i can not even begin to imagine what it was like.
It broke my heart when i read you very sad story & went & gave my ds a huge hugs.
I'm sooooo sorry for your loss & my heart goes out to you.
reAllytee
29-01-2006, 20:39
This breaks my heart. :(
My nephew is 10yrs old & even though i am not his mother to lose him i think part of me would die. So i cannot imagine the pain & agony you are going through at this point in time.
Its so hard to keep going im sure but what does is the fact he will be watching over his mum & his siblings as im sure he wouldnt want you to lose faith in life with all that has happened. Im sure he misses his mum too.
I hope they find the answers to bring closure to this for you.
I wish you all the best.
Those babies of yours look adorable btw ! Im sure your proud of them all :)
poshBecks
29-01-2006, 20:46
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss....:( ((hugs)). My thoughts are with you and you family.....
Goosie22
29-01-2006, 20:54
Like all the others I was totally overcome with emotion realising what an immpossible time I would have coping if something like that was to happen to my 8year old I can only imagine what your going through. Please be kind to your self through this terrible time.
Worm'sMum
29-01-2006, 20:56
What a heartbreaking tragedy. Reading your post brought me to tears and I cannot imagine the pain you and your family must be feeling. It will make me hold my DD and those dear to me even closer. You are right, no parent should ever have to go through this and the loss and not knowing why would be the worst of all. I always worried about my DD while sleeping and thought that at her age now there was less worry but obviously not.
I feel a deep loss for you for not only having to bury your child, but also to have found him passed on in his sleep. No one on this earth should have to go through that.
My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family and I wish with all my heart that you get the answers you need to move forward.
My heart goes out to you and your family
I have no other words for you but every time i hug my Samuel i will think of you and your precious Samuel and pray for you all
Like everyone else, I am so sorry that you and your family have to be going through this. What an absolutely heartbreaking experience.
Thank you for sharing your very moving story with us. I am thinking of you and all your family at this time.
Bron
lukaelmo
30-01-2006, 20:21
I am so sorry :(
sugar n spice
30-01-2006, 20:32
i am so sorry to hear of your loss and i hope you find the anwers soon. my heart goes out to you and your family. reading your story brought tears to my eyes. hugs from me
rachel
May the angels be watching over you.............
Heaps of Hugs
Heids :(
Crazy Monkey
30-01-2006, 21:05
So sorry to hear about the loss of your son... I can't even imagine what you and your family are going through... My thoughts are with you and I hope that you find the answers you are after...
goldcoastgirl18
30-01-2006, 21:40
i have never lost a child of my own but i did lose my nephew when he was only 15 days old and i know the pain you must be going through, my nephew would be 5 years old on new years day just gone, i know first hand that no one can say or do anything to make it better. it never gets better there is not one day that you will not miss and remember ur child but there will be a day were it just starts hurting less and less it takes time and its a crul world that we live in where a sweet and innocent child can be taken from us, i have a 2month old baby boy and i didnt even like him gettin his injections as i didnt like seeing him hurt but to lose him would be another thing althogether, im deeply sorry for your lose but im sure ur son will be watchin over you and the rest of your family untill the day that you will all be togtehr again but for now keep him in ur heart and remeber the beauty that was ur son...
very sorry for ur lose ..
my heart goes out to you- hugs
love louise and lucas xx
{if u would ever like to talk im here for you}
I can't even begin to imagine how you all must feel to lose someone so precious.
How brave of you to share your story with us.
I hope you and your family can love and support each other through this terrible time and find solace that your darling son and sibling has gone onto something far better.
Kirsty - xx
Tan-mumof3
31-01-2006, 00:15
I am so sorry for your loss. i can't even begin to imagine what it is like to loose your child it is my worst ever nightmare, my heart definately goes out to you and your family and i hope you get teh answers you arelooking for :(
sugar n spice
31-01-2006, 00:29
Sorry to ask but do they have any ideas why this happened? My eyes are filled with tears reading your story. I could not imagine losing my children they are the world to me. Have heart in that your son is watching over you.
Thankyou all for your replies.
It is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.. the loss of my son, my firstborn.......
Sadly we do not know why this has happened.. so far all tests that have been carried out have not given us any answers.
I do know that my precious son is at rest and in peace now.. but it is no where near the same as having him home here where he belongs with his Mum and Step-dad and brothers and sisters. Samuel is missed so so much I couldnt even begin to describe it to you.
Not a second goes by where I am not thinking of my Lil Man...... he is always in my thoughts.. ALWAYS........
And I know he is with us wherever we go and is sharing in all we do.. he rides on our shoulders.....
Once again Thankyou for your replies......
Samuel would be so happy to know so many are saddened by his loss....
He had a very large turnout at his funeral and it was comforting to know that my son had touched the hearts of so many in his short life..... sadly his life was just beginning when it ended........
moonblossom
31-01-2006, 08:14
I cannot express how very sorry I am for you and your family. My children got extra hugs and kisses yesterday after reading your post, they didnt know why but I felt compelled to hold and love them.
I wish I could say something to make things better, but I know nothing can be said, except we are here if you need to scream, yell, get angry and vent galore.
Hugs to you and your family.
Supermum
31-01-2006, 08:26
Dear Paddlepop
Thank you sincerely for sharing your story with us, you're very brave. Personally, I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain you feel nor the empty space inside you reserved for your "lil man". Your heart must feel so heavy.
How very tragic for you to not only lose your son, but not know why.
Thank you again for sharing. Wishing you and your family peace.
Dear Paddlepop
I was so sorry to read about the loss of your son and I cant begin to imagine how you must all be feeling.
***hugs and a cuddle***** are all I can send. Thinking of you
Rest in Peace Samuel :(
so sorry for your loss paddlepop
zafyrezmummy
31-01-2006, 14:44
im really sorry. I wish the world wasn't so cruel. i wish i knew what to say. Just know we are all here for you.
lots of hugs to you!!!!
hoping4another
31-01-2006, 20:45
Dear paddlepop- I am truely sorry for your loss, It must be very hard not to have answer to his death. Thank you for sharing your story of your special little boy.
Big ((((((hugs))))) to you and your family.
Wendy
LoopyLyndaLou
01-02-2006, 08:38
Hi Paddlepop,
I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of Samuel, babies and children should not die, it is so wrong.
I am a teacher and a few years ago one of my students, a very healthy 13 year old boy went to sleep one night and never woke in the morning, no reason was found for his death either and it was put down as the same as SIDS. Apparently people of any age can just die with no apparent reason although it is more common in infants. It is of course no comfort to hear that for the parent of any child especically one that has just llost their child, You must be desparate for answers.
Samuel will always be in your heart and your thoughts and hopefully in time you feel strong enough to remember special moments you shared with him and smile, even laugh.
My thoughts are with you adn your family at this difficult time.
Lynda xx
willsmum
01-02-2006, 11:12
Next time I get frustrated with either of my little ones, I will think of Samuel, and just be thankful that no matter what is happening at the time, I at least have them both with me.
I can't even begin to comprehend your loss, but please know that I shed tears for you all.
I too am so sorry to hear of your loss and agree it is something that a parent should never have to go through. It is especially hard that you don't have any answers.
It is good however you had a lot of support at Samuel's funeral, it is very important for the family that you have this.
I hope that slowly you can recover even a little bit from this awful tragedy:(
shereejoy
08-02-2006, 19:15
Oh that is so terrible I am so so sorry. That has to be the hardest thing to deal with and something you will never really get over. I can't even begin to imagine, you poor thing, and your family. Thank you for sharing your story.
mariafresnel
09-02-2006, 09:54
Paddlepop.......words cannot begin to help or even heal yours and your family's broken hearts, the only words which would offer something are 'answers' to why your precious child died.....Oh my God, I'm so very, very sad for you....I have so much sympathy in this very sad time for you.....Maria
HoopDeeDoo
09-02-2006, 09:59
I'm so sorry for your huge loss. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. Parents should never have to bury a child, and to have no answers must make it even harder
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