baby to go to sleep by themselves?

[mummy sam]

ok how do you get your baby to go to sleep by themselves?
My mister(15wks) has never gone to sleep by himself he has always had to be held/rocked ect.
i dont want this to continue. Otherwise the next minute he'll be 10 and still having to be rocked! lol
From day one in hospital he hated being wrapped, he would cry till his arms were free.
i went to a settling day at the mhc, but i didnt find it useful as it relied on being wrapped.

any ideas?

[tyler's mum]

tyler also hates being wrapped,,, i started putting her in her cot after her bottles,,, i lay her on her stomach,,, the only way she likes to sleep.... and it takes her longer to go to sleep,,, but after a few weeks of doin this she now go's to sleep at lot faster,,,, once she is asleep i cover her up and tuck the sheet in,,, i started her at 2months she is now almost 5months:eek: ...

good luck....

[rynosmum]

We did a form of controlled crying / comforting when DS was 10 weeks old. Within three days, he had learnt to go to sleep on his own and to resettle when he woke up (unless he was hungry or unwell etc).

The difference to him (and to us) was dramatic. My DH and I battled over doing it because I thought he was way too young. Obviously he wasnt and to the day (touch wood) he's still a great sleeper. He's 20 months now so we've had a couple of weeks after Xmas and the odd few days over the months where he hasn't wanted to go to sleep so we've had to redo the CC but all in all, it has really worked for our family.:)

[drewid]

Hi there

Sometimes it is worth perservering with wrapping. I was hopeless at it until DH taught me a knack to it (how he figured it out, i do not know!) and Andrew responded really well.

Having said that, at around 3 months we stopped doing that. I would just tuck Andrew into the cot snugly, with his arms free, with a dummy, with scratch mittens on and put on the music box that has a display on the ceiling. We had a bath, breastfeed, bed routine, so he always knew what was coming. We wouldn't give him the bath until he was showing tired signs, so by the time he had been bathed and fed, he was well and truly tired and usually conked out pretty quickly.

He is 11 months now and still has the same routine and it still works. I believe he is such a good sleeper because he has grown up knowing how bedtime works and what to expect.

I think the biggest thing is consistency! Just choose your method and try not to waiver from it.

Good luck :)

[nemosmum]

your bub is only 15 weeks and in my experience bubs sleep routine etc change so many times during the first 12 months...........
I wouldnt worry too much about having to rock a ten year old to sleep LOL :D

I had a really bad time with my DS at first he would sleep maybe an hour at a time (night as well as day) but by 6 months he was sleeping through(ten hours a night:) ) and now at 18months he has one 3-4 hour day sleep and a 10 hours during the night.

They change as they grow and develop, my best advice is do what feels right for you at the time and things will be alot calmer around sleeptime ;)
Then when it stops working for you change it!

Try everything and anything, thats what I did LOL and eventually you find the right tech. for your bub :)

Good luck and may your nights be peaceful!

[mummy sam]

thanks for the different bits of advice i think i will continue with the rocking....:confused: for now.
the thing is being a single mum it gets a little hard at times. and i think that is why i didnt want to do c/c because i wouldnt have the support from someone to get me through it, as i have heard it can get abit nervey.

so 12months of all over the place sleeping, yay something to look forward too:D

[tyler's mum]

i know every one is different,,, however im a single mum also and the reason i started to put tyler in her cot still awake is because it gets so hard rocking her to sleep every time she was tried [dont get me wrong i still do at times] but i thought the longer i do it for the harder it will be for her later on,,,,

wish you the best with your bub:D

[Narelle]

We were the same always cuddling her to sleep and I was worried that if I did that for too long it would be even harder to change, I can't remember how old she was when we started putting her in bed awake, all I can say is just give it a go and if he cries try to hold off (it's hard!) for as long as you can, if you can't doesn't matter just try again next time. Often you only have to wait a tiny bit longer and they're asleep, I know every baby is different but you never know until you try. Good Luck with it!

[mummy sam]

thanks tam and narelle,
i'll give both methods ago over the next couple of days.

the only prob i have with leaving him to cry is he almost gets hysterical(spelling?) like really really crying. then if i go and shush him, the minute i move away the screaming starts, am i meant to continue when his like that??? :confused:

[rynosmum]

the only prob i have with leaving him to cry is he almost gets hysterical(spelling?) like really really crying. then if i go and shush him, the minute i move away the screaming starts, am i meant to continue when his like that??? :confused:

Controlled comforting, when you go in and pat them to calm them, then leave and come back intermittently and try to calm them again is what we did. And you're right - it was hard - I sat in the kitchen and cried while I was lucky enough to have DH do the first night. If I had been on my own, I don't think I could have stuck to it.

Some babies take to it pretty well. But you're the Mum so you know your child better than anyone. If you think the crying is hysterical and your bub is more distressed than you are comfortable with, then my advice is to stop immediately.

Giving bubs the opportunity to self settle is, like Nicole said, settling because they know what to expect. When DS was rocked to sleep or B/fed to sleep, he would wake up crying because he didnt know where he was and where Mummy had gone. When he learnt to self settle, he would wake up and be exactly where he expected to be and would quickly fall off to sleep again.

Best of luck with whatever method you choose. Be guided by your instinct on this one.;)

[Imogensmum]

Hello,

I am also a single mum and i hear the CC being too hard thing! I tried a modified method- and i suggest modifing angthing you get told to suit you and bub!

I hold Imy til she is comfy (tired but awake) then into cot with music box on- I would pat her tummy and wait til very calm and then leave the room. If she bagan to stir- whinging/crying i would return almost immediately (so as not to let her get worked up (she is also a hysterical crier)) and continue this routine until she was asleep. I would avoid eye contact and just SHHHHH, Sleep time now etc. I found this really worked for us... but as I said every bub is different! It really only took 3 nights for her to get to a point where i only had to resettle her 1-2 times!

I think I read in one of your posts that you are still at home with mum??? Is that correct- can she help you out for the first few nights??? I also live with my parents (in a flat downstairs) they really helped out when I was getting a bit despair! Just to have someone to sit with the bub- if you can't- as long as they also follow your routine :) grandmas are a little to easy to wrap around the little finger IYKWIM

Best of luck -and if you need to chat at all just PM me!

Shannan

[nemosmum]

thanks tam and narelle,
i'll give both methods ago over the next couple of days.

the only prob i have with leaving him to cry is he almost gets hysterical(spelling?) like really really crying. then if i go and shush him, the minute i move away the screaming starts, am i meant to continue when his like that??? :confused:

Its so hard to see and hear your bub when they get so worked up like that!
I was very stressed with O when he was your bubs age due to his lack of sleep etc but hang in there it will get better....................just keep doing what you feel most comfortable with.

If your not happy to leave him to settle alone then dont, perservere with the rocking and see how things go.

Trust me just because he needs you now(to get to sleep) doesnt mean it will always be this way, honestly I never thought my son would learn how to go to sleep alone OR sleep so well :D but it did happen!!!!

[Refresh]

Otherwise the next minute he'll be 10 and still having to be rocked! lol

LOL, this is soooo not going to happen - alot of people actually believe that this will happen. At the age your baby is at, they need to feel safe and comforted...if your baby enjoys being rocked, there is nothing wrong with this , I believe that it makes them feel secure. I have a 5 year old and he certainly doesnt need to be rocked to sleep!! IMO there is nothing wrong with helping a tiny baby get to sleep, do what you truly feel comfortable with:)

[mummyv]

Hi mummy sam

I have to agree that routine is paramount from the beginning. We have our DS in a sleep routine where we wrap him and then put him into his cot awake. Then I 'body' rock him in the cot- rocking him with one hand on his hip very gently. I also keep my other hand on his chest, then eventually as his breating slows I slowly remove both hnds and leave the room and hope for the best! This really seems to pacify him and after only a week and a half of utilitising the technique he is responding by taking less time to go to sleep.
However....
We can get him to sleep, but lately we are having a hell of a time KEEPING him asleep!
We bought the latest Baby Whisperer book, and that is VERY helpful, giving insight into why some techniques do work and why some don't work....

mummyv

[mummy sam]

well last night was great!! thoughi had to put lochie to sleep in my arms at 8pm i woke him at 1030 for a feed. At 1230 he woke but put himself back to sleep (a first) and i didn't here from him again till 6 :D

Gee if i could have a night like that everynight i wouldn't mind having him go to sleep in my arms! :rolleyes:

[mummy sam]

Wow his going to sleep by himself and sleeping through!!! And it's been a week now. I almost feel like a new woman. :rolleyes:

I'm getting sleep now :D