I Want A New MIL !

[reAllytee]

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok welllll have i got a massive vent !!!
My inlaws or should i say outlaws came over today.
As it is we dont see them often as we havent exactly got the best relationship with them.
Now we said to come around 10am that way they would have until around 1pm to see Harry as we were going out later etc. We always try to either have it early morning or late afternoon as my partner doesnt want them staying for lunch or the likes as it means we have them here longer & are more stressed.
He has already had a fight with his mum over this one time as he organised for her to come see Harry for 2hrs as she whinged & whinged that she hadnt seen him in ages etc so even though we had people coming at midday he tried to do the right thing ! So we were up early & waited & waited & waited they turned up at 11.30am !!!! She brought lunch etc to which my partner was like WTH ?!?!?!? Do you not listen ???? Then she was nearly crying when my friends turned up at 12pm !!! Its like well we tried to do the right thing what do you want ! It was the same before this everytime we tried to do the right thing with visits etc it wasnt "suitable" for them as they were away or had something on blah blah blah ! Yet she whinges & moans that she never does get to see him !!!! WTH !!!!
Anyways getting back to today my partner as i said had organised for them to be here around 10am. They turned up a little after 11am & yet again she brings lunch !!!! :mad:
She then has the hide to say " I thought i would bring it incase we stayed for lunch " Again she doesnt listen. I just fumed but bit my tongue & my partner was all like when we had a moment alone that he did not organise for lunch & he was sorry. I told him the other day when he organised it that she would try this again as it seems to be a big thing for her as she even tries when she comes in the afternoons to take us out for dinner all the time & we just dont want to.
So we all sit down & Harry was a little cranky at first & didnt want a bar of her. I picked him up out of his high chair hoping he would slowly get used to them being here to which she snatches him out of my arms :mad: Luckily he didnt totally freak but i just sat next to them on the lounge so he could still touch me etc. But of course she wasnt happy that he paid attention to his mama. I then went & organised a bottle for him & sorta stuffed around so that i didnt get the evil glares !
I always hate being around her as she makes me so stressed & nervous i feel sick as well as she makes me physically shake im that stressed. I can have a decent convo with my FIL & have a bit of a laugh & the likes but when it comes to her she is like this wicked witch who watches my every move waiting for me to stuff up so she can say "told you so !". Which is really weird considering what my FIL did to my partner when he was little etc. Even my partner has said he prefers being around his dad more than his mum which is HUGE for him to say & makes me quite sad.
I came back & sat on the lounge again so of course Harry comes over to me & wants to hug his mama & the likes so yet again my MIL gets the sh!ts up. Geees sorry my son loves me geess thats right im his MAMA ! gggrrrr ! We are all sitting around in silence pretty much its always like this & its horrible. You can just feel the tension on the room. So i try to liven it all up by saying " We are having Harry's 1st birthday party on the 11th & this will also be his blessing day ".
WELL !
She huffed & said " Well we wont be here ! We are going overseas ! "
I nearly died so looked at my partner & said "Did you know this ?" to which he answered " No " & shrugged like what can we do !
I nearly burst into tears !
She then went on " Well i did tell you cause we even booked it last year "
WTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek:
You booked your holidays knowing it will be your first grand childs 1st birthday !
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!! AARRRRRRGGGGHHHH !!!! :confused:
How dare she carry on the way she does about never seeing him etc when she didnt even think last year gees it will be his 1st birthday then so maybe we should postpone it !!!! She even then had the hide to say " I will be back for yours though " to my partner to which he was like yeah great lucky me !
So he just said " Well sorry but we have the minister confirmed so we cant change the dates " to which she was all huffy still.
Bubs then needed to go for a snooze so wouldnt hand him over so took him upstairs to which i had to follow. Why does she always have to watch me change his nappy does she think i will do it wrong ???? She then waited for me to take bubs clothes off as he was getting hot then left but i swear if she had said one word to me then i wouldve flipped.
I then hid out upstairs in the hope they would go as i was so angry etc that i didnt dare be around her when i was like this. Im trying to get bubs off to sleep so had been up there awhile. I heard her throw a wobbly over her other son ( funny how no one likes her ! ) then she apparently packed their stuff up & said " well i suppose we should go " my partner was like ok. She then comes upstairs into bubs room when she knows im trying to soothe him & says in a whisper ( yeah right ) " we are going " i only managed an ok also.
So she also seems to think whispering while being the room will not worry bubs who is trying to snooze ! gggrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrrrrrrr !!!!
I was so angry when they left i just burst into tears.
What sort of grandparent doesnt want to be in the country for their grandchilds 1st birthday let alone their only grandchild ?!?!?!?!?!?
My mum is so over the moon & excited about having it at her place as she has more room etc.
How can there be such a different reaction ?!?!?!?!
BLAH !

[aardvark]

Are you sure we aren't sharing a MIL???

I had my baby at the start of the week and she hasn't even called me to see how we are going.

[melfunction]

You can have mine :p I sorted her out a while ago and I'm really glad she lives in another country.

Get your DP to have a word with her and if nothing changes, don't let her come over. Who needs that stress???

[JessandKirra]

Whats the go with MIL's 9 months old and she has seen DD 4 times. Birth, 3m onths old because I went there, 5 months old as they where "passing through" to visit another friend and christmas.

LOOOOSSSSERRRRR.

[draught]

I can hear what you are saying and have had similar experiences. It has taken me a long time to realise that my MIL is not criticising me, she just wants to be involved in everything, from nappy changing up, so that she can feel part of their life. Three years on when she comes to visit I have realised that I get a lot less stressed if I step back and let her do things like bath and feed and change them, and she has realised that she has to give them time to warm up to her (she lives interstate so they don't see her regularly.) It has, however, taken 3 years, and I still get stressed and don't relax in the same way that I do with my own parents.

What I have to keep reminding myself is that they are my daughter's grandparents, and that although I don't like the way they do things, they love the girls and I need to leave the door open for a relationship. I am not always good at it and certainly not always gracious about it, but we have survived.

I agree - she sounds like a horrible woman, but I thought I would share that you can find a way through to give you hope for the next few years.

[reAllytee]

Think all MIL' should be rounded up & scared outta town :p
hahahah i wish :(
Ok well look i know she may "mean well" in her head but she really needs to understand all that she has done not only to me but to my partner over the years & also what she allowed her husband ( partners father ) to do. He was beaten, told he wasnt wanted & also even told he wished him dead & if it didnt happen soon he would do it himself :eek: . Anyways the stupid thing is his dad as horrible as he was has tried to make amends yes he knows he cant fix what he did but he will just make sure he has time for not just his son but his grandson also. Whereas his mum still acts like nothing ever happened & refuses to listen to my partner at all.
She was never excited about the pg was rather nasty infact but when i went into labour my partner did the right thing & let her know then as i didnt have him that same day she rang back all huffy wanting to know why he hadnt called to announce bubs arrival !!! How about cause it hasnt arrived yet ?!?!?!?! Then when he was born she came to the hospital stepped into the birthing suite & within seconds was starting a fight with FIL !!!!! aaauuugh !!!!!
She is all teary eyed or cries when she talks about never seeing him or the likes but gees she wont even change her plans so why should we change ours ? Plus we always feel like crap after seeing her so my partner has become annoyed & tries to avoid her which in turn still makes me feel guilty as i do believe bubs should have his grandparents as part of his life. I know if my dad was alive he wouldve moved heaven & earth to be at his birthday ESPECIALLY his 1st !
Half the time she doesnt even want to hold him its only when there are other people around.
Its hard to explain a lot of stuff she does is only for show & it really makes me sad but angry all at once.
So over it all sorry i keep making long posts girls just got a lot to vent LOL ! :o

[mummy sam]

Hey Ally
I feel so sorry for i wish i could give you advice. I think venting would help though. Hearing things like this makes me glad that its only bub and me.
My latest advice for anything is breath, i find it helps. And yes grandparents should be an important part of little ones life but if shes going to be that way and cause so much tension is it worth it for bubs in the end?? :confused:

good luck

[Mamaduke]

I hear 'ya sister...I hear 'ya!!!
When our first son (and their first grandchild) was born he was 4 weeks prem and was in Special Care. FIL was not here for the birth but 'smother-in-law' was and actually tried to take DH home with her while I was in labour!!! She didn't succeed.
After Jesse was born she carried on that there was a note on his humidi-crib saying, "Nanna able to visit anytime without Mummy or Daddy" - one of the nurses had put this up for my mum because on her way home from work she was always calling in to see Jesse and if we weren't with her the nurses couldn't let her in...it was suggested by one of the nurses not us! Smother-in-law cracks the sh*ts "why isn't my name up there? I have rights too!" and carried on like a pork chop. She was once in SCN with me and 'princess' (DH's sister) and my mum came up to the window and waved (she'd just got there from work.)
Princess (looking for any way to get out) suggested that because of the nursery's rules on visitors (max 3 at a time) that they go. Smother wouldn't hear of it...they'd been there for over an hour but she wanted to stay so my mum couldn't come in...well my mum did anyway, and as soon as she walked over to Jesse's crib smother raises her voice saying, 'there's only supposed to be 3 in here at a time isn't there?' she's such a b*tch!!!
Then one day we get a message on the answering maching (while Jesse was still in hospital) from Monty (FIL) saying that they were going on a holiday and they'd be back in 2 weeks!!! No telling us where or where they could be contacted if something was to happen to Jesse...nothing!!!
When they came back DH asked them how they could go on holiday when Jesse was still in hospital and they said that they weren't made to feel welcome at the hospital so they thought they'd might as well go...I plain told them that I couldn't give a stuff who was feeling welcome or not...my baby was in hospital and that was all I cared about, and told them to grow up!
Years down that track she admitted to a friend (whilst I was at her house) that Jesse's early arrival threw them a bit because they had booked a holiday and their plan was to have the holiday first and be back in time for Jesse's birth but it didn't happen according to their plan! Did they realise how much turmoil they caused in my house with DH and me? Did they care, or was this simply to put a wedge between us when we had become closer than ever after the birth of our first child? I still haven't forgiven them for using me as an excuse to go on a holiday that was planned from the get-go...ar$eholes!!!
For the record, they have been to one of Jesse's birthdays...he's had four...smother tried to organise her own 'family birthday' at our house before his actual party (they didn't want to go to Maccas...beneath them!) and I just called everyone she had invited and told them not to come to our house and that I wasn't going to have two different parties just because they think they're too good for Maccas....needless to say that didn't go down well!
They came to Lucas' 1st birthday and acted like wet mops all day...smother walked in and was sh*tty that my mum was there first...what a nutbag!!!
So there you go...as far as MIL's are concerned...I know what you mean...I know what you mean...I know what you mean...
Isn't it great though...we've got what they want...their sons!!!!!:p

[Mamaduke]

Its hard to explain a lot of stuff she does is only for show & it really makes me sad but angry all at once.


My 'smother' does this too, come to think of it, that whole bl**dy family does...
I call my boys "The Kodak kids" .... DH's family wants them around only for photos!

[brooke]

ally- I am sorry to hear you had such a bad day with your mil and have such a strained relationship!
But I have to say from reading your post it actually sounds to me that she just wants to be a part of her grandchilds life and her sons! Everyone makes mistakes and It just sounds like she is trying to make up for stuff by trying to be a part of her grandchilds life.. I wouldnt stress to much about her not being there for bubs 1st bday.. I am sure she will bring him back some thing good from her holiday!
maybe if you sit down and talk to her then maybe then things might be easier...
My mil and mother both follow me to watch me change bubs etc etc and bring lunch! I love it.. although I may not love my mil but she loves bub and thats the main thing! Try and be cival for your baby.. you dont have to agree with her or her methods but just listen and nod.. you dont have to impliment them.

Good luck! I feel for you I really do!

[stormanet]

"Isn't it great though...we've got what they want...their sons!!!!!"

*LOL*
k

[ozzysmum]

allyoo move to perth with us! we have given up the MIL ever being a normal sane human being (i think she's related to yours;) ). she booked a holiday to fiji three weeks before i was due with ozzy for the very week that i was due then phoned to tell me that i'd "better not have the baby while i'm on holiday or i'll be very angry"... and she didn't even bring him back a little pressie. she then went to NZ when he was 3 weeks old and again, nothing... even when my next door neighbours went to NZ a few weeks later they brought him back a cute little sheep bib. she has been to visit us a total of once since we had ozzy and was here for about 5 mins; i found out later that she'd left because i was rude and didn't even offer her a cup of tea. this was when ozzy was about 2 weeks old, DP had returned to work overseas so i was on my own after a caesarean and ozzy hadn't slept for 23 hours (he was working his way up 30, his all-time record).
it's a bit of a cop out to say my advice to you is "move!" - i think venting here and having a partner who understands (rather than one that would say silly things like "no, my mother is the most wonderful woman on the planet") are your two best options in the short term and maybe once the kids are a bit older they can go and have sleepovers at grandma's and you can just do the 5 minute pick up/drop off routine?
my SIL has the best story about our MIL - when she had her son he was in intensive care for 4 weeks - he was about a week old and very sick the first time MIL went in to see him. her first comment was "oh he's very small. you'll be wanting to tape his ears back as soon as possible because they look far to big for his head" :eek: i can't belive my SIL didn't kill her there and then!

[Mamaduke]

she has been to visit us a total of once since we had ozzy and was here for about 5 mins;

Ok...there's no need to show off!!!!:rolleyes:
I should be so lucky;)

[ozzysmum]

carlyb, you must have offered her a cup of tea ;) try my trick of being "rude" :p

[Mamaduke]

carlyb, you must have offered her a cup of tea ;) try my trick of being "rude" :p
I've been told that "Monty" FIL and "Smother-in-law" can feel the tension in our house...I told them that I agree...it's starts about 1/2 an hour before they arrive!!:mad:

[WeThree]

now i know this advice is not going to work for everyone, some of you obviously have the inlaws from hell (carly, omgosh, have read other posts about yours, i dont know how you do it my girl) but i have found the best thing to do with mine is to act towards them the way i would around my own parents, what i mean is, i have always made the effort to make them feel welcome in our home, tell them what a great suprise it is (even if it isnt, lol) offer food/drinks, phone them for chats etc.
i try to imagine what i would do in the same situation if it was my mum who was with me, so if i am staying at their place i chat with mil as we do dinner together, or have her follow me around the place and let her change bubs, bathe him/her etc. This has helped to forge a good relationship with his mum, his parents have said and done some things (especially his dad:rolleyes: ) over the yrs that i could have got really upset about, and would have been more than entitled to, but i have always managed to be the better person and have just let things go. they are my family, like it or not, and they will be so for the rest of my life, they are my childrens grandparents and my husbands parents, and i would never put him in a position where he felt he had to chose, or that it was ackward for us to go and visit them, or have them over.
a husband/wife relationship is totally different to a son/parent one, there isnt any need to feel you need to compete or prove anything, people can only upset you if you let them, im sure when it is our own mum/dad, brother/sister, we forgive and forget for much much worse.
i guess what i am trying to say is that it takes 2 to make an effort, creating a relationship with people that you have suddenly become family with, takes hard work and effort, from both parties, i feel that the efforts i have gone to with my inlaws, have made them make more of an effort with me, iykwim. i always try to take a look at myself and think 'am i being reasonable, would i respond like this to anyone else, or is it just because he ticks me off?' then i think about how i can respond. :)
try killing them with kindness, take a big breathe, show that you are full of self confidence (even if you dont feel like it) and just be the lovely charming you that you would be for members of your family, or your friends, its worth it for you dh and your children. :)
(please note, as i mentioned this does not apply to everyone, sorry but some of you have inlaws who are just plain nuts:D )

[reAllytee]

But I have to say from reading your post it actually sounds to me that she just wants to be a part of her grandchilds life and her sons! Everyone makes mistakes and It just sounds like she is trying to make up for stuff by trying to be a part of her grandchilds life..

Funny thing is not only did she not want us to have bubs but she still doesnt want me around. She would give her arms & legs to get rid of me that i am sure of !


I wouldnt stress to much about her not being there for bubs 1st bday.. I am sure she will bring him back some thing good from her holiday!

HAHAHHAHAHAH ! Sorry i know i shouldnt laugh but she doesnt get pressies when they are away. Plus im not sure if you read my post about bad Christmas pressies but yeah she isnt even one for buying them ! Bubs got a free book that he is not only scared of because of the noises it makes but its not even suitable for him till around the 2yr mark, a free bear she got when she purchased an item from Myer she even had the hide to tell me about what she bought for herself & how she was given it for free :rolleyes:, a bib, socks that dont even fit & chocolates yep just what every 9mth old needs for Christmas ! Dont even get me started on what else they have given Harry since his birth. Now dont get me wrong im not saying material things are everything but the fact they dont even offer to say buy nappies or the likes when they know we have no money really peeves me off.
If her grandson was important to her likes she carries on that he apparently is when it suits her mind you then why isnt she here for his birthday ?
Plus if she so wants to be part of our lives then why does she say all the nasty things she does then expect us to let it go. She rants almost every opportunity that bubs doesnt have the family name. My partner changed his name 5yrs ago due to the problems he had with them all now its a big issue & she cant "believe" bubs wasnt named as such & will keep sending us cards or whatever in the mail named to the family name so say " The Smith family " when no-one here has that name. Oh & she cant even get our address right half the time yet her own mother who is in her late 80's can & has even passed it onto his aunty & uncles who have sent us stuff !!



maybe if you sit down and talk to her then maybe then things might be easier...
We have tried talking to her about the things she says but as i said earlier she either refuses to talk about it or acknowledge she said it. Makes things rather frustrating but as i also said its really hard to explain as its an act most of the time. She doesnt even care about what my partner is going through atm she even asked how i was doing today & as i started saying " well things have been hard due to Evan with his back etc" she just raised her eyebrows & walked off ! Now how am i supposed to be polite & nice to someone who just doesnt care ?!?!?



My mil and mother both follow me to watch me change bubs etc etc and bring lunch! I love it.. although I may not love my mil but she loves bub and thats the main thing! Try and be cival for your baby.. you dont have to agree with her or her methods but just listen and nod.. you dont have to impliment them.

If she followed me around because she just wanted to be near bubs its fine as my mum also does this & so does my aunty for that fact but this isnt like that she is well just weird !
Im always civil trust me i manage to bite my tongue as ive said before i dont think ive got a tongue left !
If she was only trying to be helpful again i could understand that but she will still try & give me a hard time about not bf any chance she can & then cant understand why i get upset & my partner gets angry !

Auuugh its just a mess !
Im sick of feeling like this because of her :(

[reAllytee]

but i have found the best thing to do with mine is to act towards them the way i would around my own parents, what i mean is, i have always made the effort to make them feel welcome in our home, tell them what a great suprise it is (even if it isnt, lol) offer food/drinks, phone them for chats etc.
i try to imagine what i would do in the same situation if it was my mum who was with me, so if i am staying at their place i chat with mil as we do dinner together, or have her follow me around the place and let her change bubs, bathe him/her etc. try killing them with kindness, take a big breathe, show that you are full of self confidence (even if you dont feel like it) and just be the lovely charming you that you would be for members of your family, or your friends, its worth it for you dh and your children.

I have tried this :( She gets even meaner ! I offer to help with meals, I help clean up, I offer feeding bubs over to her all of this stuff to no avail !
Half the time she only tries to hold him or feed him when someone else comes around so she looks "good" she is just blah !
I always always act personable & nice around them it was only today that i was so sh!tty about them not being here for his birthday/blessing & then her coming in the room as im trying to get bubs off to sleep made me snap ! But i still didnt lose it i just said " ok " when she said they were going rather than my normal " oh ok your off ? well it was lovely having you here we look forward to next time thanks for coming " as i say im always nice & smile even when i dont want to offer them anything they would like !
When they arrived i was finishing off my cake that i had baked for them to have for morning tea & all she could muster was " oh pffft we dont want THAT " Yeah gees thanks ! :(



(please note, as i mentioned this does not apply to everyone, sorry but some of you have inlaws who are just plain nuts:D )

Yep & she fits that to a tee !
Like Carly my lovely MIL tried to make my partner leave me while birthing lovely !
Meh ok i need to stop typing now im getting annoyed ;)

[Mamaduke]

Oh, Ally I know how this sort of situation can really get you down!
I've tried and tried with my in-laws, I even at one point sat down with my MIL and point blank said to her, "You would think that you'd be smart enough to realise that if you want to be included in your son's life and your grandson's lives then just shut up! Stop with the meddling, the nasty comments, the hatred against me and my family & regarding everything as a competition. I am your son's wife, and even if God forbid one day you get your wish & we break up, I will still be your grandsons' mother...that will never ever change. If you make it easy to be around you then you will be included...it's your choice, either change your behaviour or this will just keep going on and on, and no matter how many fake 'mini strokes' you pull (yep, she has!!) you won't be a wanted or needed part of our family."
It worked for a couple of weeks...old habits die hard!!!
She once even told me that I needed to have some 'running away' money, to which I asked, "what for, where am I going?"
She said that every woman needs to have running away money in case their marriage breaks up, then they have the financial means to start again.
PFFFT....if my marriage breaks up (God forbid), I'm not going anywhere!
I'll be taking the house and 53% of DH's super too...what the bl**dy hell would I need crappy little 'running away' money for? She told DH that it was a good idea to have a seperate bank account of his own that I wouldn't know about too!!!!
My dad calls her a 'terrorist' - but I think that's being a bit unfair...to the terrorists!:p

[WeThree]

Hey Ally :)
I dont know what your in laws are like, or how hard it is for you, but if you have tried being nice, tried to be friends, tried to let her be involved with bubs etc, then im fresh out of ideas sorry:o It seems like you have you DH's support though, which is a good thing, it would be awful to have to put up with their crap without him sticking up for you, and as four yours and carlys mil trying to get your dh's to leave whilst you were having bubs, what the!??:eek: that is just plain wrong, what were they even doing there in the first place?? i hope i didnt upset you with my post, just offering some advice, but it really sounds like your mil has the problem here, not you, you would think with everything you are going throught atm that she would cut you some slack:confused:

[reAllytee]

Oh Carly that made me laugh ! I agree poor terrorists :p ;)

Erin, not at all im more upset about the whole situation IYKWIM ! I mean yeah ive whinged about her before etc but ive always been able to as i say bite my tongue or even keep thinking all will come good to have it thrown in my face over & over again. A person can only take so much plus as you said you would think will all thats going on she would be more sympathetic or the likes but nope not her she doesnt even seem to care that what her son is going through could be life threatening but also means he could become wheelchair bound. So yeah go have a lovely holiday wish i could ! :( Then again what he told me about him having his original op when he was in high school seems to be how she is now. I thought he was over exaggerating about it all even how his family is weird etc but not have i realised his family is weird but everything is true !
To give you an idea of what she is like he had his spinal op was off school etc for 6mths & still when he did go back had trouble as he had to learn how to walk & live again not only physically but mentally. Anyways when he started back what would a normal parent do ? offer to take son/ daughter to school in car or maybe get someone if you couldnt right ? Not with his parents ! He was made to walk to school which wasnt close mind you it took 40mins to walk normally so for him it was over an hour as he couldnt really walk well etc & he then had to carry his heavy school bag with all his books ! Yep great :mad: Caring people !

[brooke]

ok ally, I think I agree with you... your ils are scary! I would screen all calls and hide... hide anywhere you can... he he he
I cant believe she tried to make your partner leave you whilst birthing! What a sicko!
well Cant help you with that one.,.... all I can say is HIDE!!!!!!!!! :p ;)

[mumoftwoboys2005]

Yep, you've got my vote on hiding! I am so lucky I don't have a MIL. I have my mother instead. Only lately has she started to come and visit on the way home from work to see the boys. Behind my back, she christened DS2 "The Screamer" What does the woman expect when she arrives at 4.30pm? We all know that time is the start of the "Arsenic Hour" He won't stay in her arms as she won't hold him properly. He looks like he is going to fall. At Christmas Time, she announces to all and sundry at my place "We didn't buy for the adults, just the 2 boys" Ok, that's fine, but a card from my own parents would have been nice. Today is my birthday, so we went out last night for tea together as it is my Dads birthday too. She moped the entire time with a "headache" but if I had said go play the pokies, she would have skipped there! Again, no card or little something. Not even a birthday call today. I just spoke to Dad, cause he rang, he wanted to tell me that he won $24 on the scratchies we bought him for his birthday. She would not even come to the phone. What have I done? Obviously something I don't even know about. I may have to change my name to the same as my sister so I can get her to notice me. She's going to spin when I tell her (hopefully soon) that she'll be a grandma again. :)

[WeThree]

. Anyways when he started back what would a normal parent do ? offer to take son/ daughter to school in car or maybe get someone if you couldnt right ? Not with his parents ! He was made to walk to school which wasnt close mind you it took 40mins to walk normally so for him it was over an hour as he couldnt really walk well etc & he then had to carry his heavy school bag with all his books ! Yep great :mad: Caring people !

omgosh!!!!!!:mad:

[reAllytee]

I have been wanting an answering machine for ages & have now put my foot down !
Especially as my sister who is interstate thankfully has now turned nuts also !
Why cant family just be normal LOL ?!

My story is nowhere near as bad as Carly's thats for sure but yeah she got cranky that we hadnt called to tell her id given birth so my partner got abused on the Saturday to which he was like well its a bit hard when SHE HASNT GIVEN BIRTH !!! :rolleyes: Anyways we had planned a few weeks before that they were to come over on Sunday as FIL was putting in the new lights so yeah here is me in labour having them putter around my house with her going through my stuff yeah great :( You'd think she would cancel right ?
Finally by midday id had enough i couldnt cope with it all as id only had a few hours sleep on Friday nite & had been vomitting on & off but could hardly keep anything down. So my partner asked MIL if she would take us to the hospy which she did even though she had ignored me all the while she had been there maybe she didnt believe i was in labour who knows ! But yeah she refused to leave when we arrived so sat in the waiting room with a paper as luckily my partner put his foot down that she couldnt come in the room as it would then stuff up who was allowed to be my support team she was rather huffy about this ! So i was getting checked out & she kept wanting to know what was going on & hassling him so he finally cracked it. He told her to go back to our place as he was sure FIL was finished & lock the house etc & he would let them know when something happened. To which she carried on wanting him to go back with her saying she needed him more & the likes. Here is me a total wreck from being in labour for 2 days already & she needs him more WTH ?!?!?!?! I was also crying my eyes out as they decided to make me stay overnite because i wasnt progressing so wanted me to be first in line for inducing in the morning. I hate hospitals to the point i start hyperventilating when having to walk into one. I really struggle to keep my composure so being told this had me absolutely losing it & trying to beg the doctor to let me go home. He said i could but was worried i may then be even more exhausted by morning with no relief & would have to wait to be induced. Anyways again my partner put his foot down & said he would stay with me until he was ready to leave so she got all cranky & finally left.
When i did give birth on Monday arvo they were in the room a matter of minutes when a fight started. Yeah awesome way to welcome a babe especially when your being nasty through gritted teeth while holding the baby :eek: If i hadnt been so ill afterwards i wouldve kicked them out ! Anyways because i was sick & kept losing consciousness (sp?) i didnt realise the time but awoke to her carrying on yet again that SHE was hungry & that SHE needed to eat so they HAD to leave soon so for my partner to hurry up & that i was fine !!!! WTH ?!?!?!?!?
I had given birth at 4.45pm & it was around 7pm so me being all scared to go down to the ward alone i buzzed so i could go shower. The midwives were shocked i was ready to get up so soon & didnt really want me to but i just insisted. So i showered & got ready to go down onto the ward so arrived around 8pm maybe a little earlier. Anyways then MIL started again about leaving & im ready to bawl my eyes out ! She knew my partner had no other way of getting home so this is how she planned it im sure ! All she kept ranting about was how hungry she was etc & that they needed to find a restaurant who would serve them before it was too late :confused: Sorry but HAVE YOU HEARD OF MACDONALDS !!!!!!!!! ggggrrrrr !!!!
So yeah they leave & apparently went to some chinese restaurant near our home & so then my poor partner who has only slept around 10hrs in 3 days himself was made to sit through dinner with them for another hour & a half !!!!!!!
Yep i love my MIL *enter sarcasm here*

[SH3LBY]

I've never met my MIL and probably never will, my partner says that's not a bad thing and after the drama's with my own mother I can see her point. Anyway I have a step mother who has been great right from the start. Had her and my Dad over tonight for dinner and was a great evening.

[reAllytee]

Heheheh yeah i know ive got him & he is mine :D

Ive gotten bad of late though i now bag her out :o as im just so over trying to speak nicely about her when well she is just mean & nasty amongst other things !
Im feeling better today though especially when ive thought about it all & its really great that she wont be there because now i can have a stress free day that we can all enjoy ! :D

[3Byrnes]

I see I belong in this thread!!!:p My MIL must be a member of the horrid MIL club!!! My son was born 15 weeks early, he was born Nov 02 and in the hospital for 3 months---MIL who lives 10 minutes from the hospital came by about 4 times. Over Christmas while my son was still on every machine imaginable to survive, MIL goes away for 2 weeks and calls us how many times to check on him??? ZERO!!!! She told us she didnt buy him any presents because he was still in hospital!!!!!!!!!:eek: What??? He doesnt matter because he is fighting for his life in the hospital being poked and proded everyday????? :mad: So fast forward to him being home---------we went overseas 3 days before his first birthday so my family could see him and celebrate with him. We arranged a small early celebration for DH's family, but of course MIL was a no show------Big surprise there, she hadnt come by to see him but 1 time since he had been home!!!! Now DS is 3 and I have FORBID DH to ever take DS by MIL's place (I stopped going over there along time ago!!)!! If she cant stop by to see him, and she is goign past our house at least 4 times a week, then DS isnt missing out on much!!!!

Sorry to jump in on your vent, but feels good to scream!! Now gotta get my BP to come down some!!!

[Mummy-2-2]

My MIL isnt half as bad as yours, but it really annoyed me the day my 16 month old daughter got her sipper bottle out of her bag and it needed the clip taken out before she could get any milk out so she gave it to MIL.

MIL went to the effort of coming outside to ask me if Tahlia could have the bottle- I said no (trying to wean the bottles to cups and get her off the formula) and what did MIL do right after me saying no?

GAVE HER THE BOTTLE!!! In front of my face no less. I was furious. I vented to hubby once we had got home, and he suggested that we dont see them for a while:D Love it!!

[babycrazy]

Q. What's the difference between IN-Laws and Out-laws?:confused:

A. Outlaws are WANTED:D

[3Byrnes]

:D :D :D AMEN SISTER!! Love that!!!

[reAllytee]

Q. What's the difference between IN-Laws and Out-laws?:confused:

A. Outlaws are WANTED:D


ooooo thats soooo good !
I think that will go up on my blackboard wall hehehe :D

[Kirstlea]

My MIL stress's me out and all my DH can say is "shes old you have make allowances" :mad:

We thought I was going into labour 2 weeks prior to dd being born so DH rang his mum and told her. Four days later mil and fil are on our door step. They live 2.5 hrs flight away.

So while DH is hammering off to work each day, I'm stuck at home with the inlaws. Great just what I needed:rolleyes:

Go into true labour 7.45pm - have a difficult time, dd not breathing taken straight to scbu, me in a bit a off strive and midwives trying to sort me out. It is now 2am all the family have gone home without seeing dd (they got to see me in a deathly white palour unable to walk). DH gets home at 6am to MIL and FIL and he fills them in on what has happened since they left the hospital.

Who should walk in the door at 10am to visit:mad: you guessed it MIL and FIL, like hello do you really think I am up for visitors. MIL has had 5 children, you would have thought she would know better. I had only just got to hold DD at 9am so was a little shattered to have to hand her over. Plus I had not slept since 6am the previous day.

Atleast my mother had the sense to ring me after lunch and check if I wanted her to visit.

To top things off, the inlaws stayed with us for a whole month. MIL insisted she was there to help me. Like wth was she going to do? Washing is simple, put in machine and turn it on, when finished put it in the dryer. (we didn't have a clothese line) Having babies now is not like it used to be the work involved now is much more conveinent compared to her days of child bearing.

DH hated her cooking so he cooked and I couldn't give a hoot if the floors were swept everyday.

To make matters worse, she kept telling me what was wrong with my dd even suggested I might be starving her God help me:rolleyes: The poor thing (as she referred) had just been bf so hunger was not the issue. Two weeks of this drove me mad. I felt like a cow, feed dd and hand her over to MIL grrrr. Felt inadequate as a mother and totally lost all my confidence.

I guess because she has had 5 children (37 yrs is the youngest my DH) she is the authority but I needed to work it all out myself with my DH we couldn't wait for them to leave.

When we visit them they always want us to leave dd with them. They are both in their 70's (not young 70's either) and do not understand we can't leave her with them alone. MIL passed out at our wedding (seizure) and FIL has a heart condition why can't they figure it out. What would happen to dd if something happened to them. We will spend full days with them just so they can see dd but it still upsets MIL we have even flown them to our place to stay for 2 or 3 weeks at a time so they can see her but they still get upset. Its not like dd is the only GC either, I find it very bizarre.

Anyway thats my vent thanks for listening

[JnA]

My MIL dislikes the fact that my mum gets to see Jade more than she does. My mum live just around the corner and cooks us dinner almost every night, and will come over to help us if we need it at the drop of a hat, I just have to ask and she's there. His mum lives over an hour away and will come over when it's convenient for her eg she's down this way for some other reason. I've never asked her to help out though, because it might infringe on her busy social schedule... yet, it's *my* fault mum sees more of Jade.

I dunno, ya just an't win sometimes. (Though secretly I am glad she lives so far away and can't just pop in. shhh don't tell anyone ;) )

I've often wondered if there's a forum of MIL's somewhere whinging about thier DIL's and how horrid we are. :)