Have you moved or considered moving because of your ILs??

[sonlou73]

DH and I have wanted to move interstate for sometime but decide to stay put due to our parents living close by so our children can be close to their grandparents. But I don't get along with my ILs (to put it mildly!) and I've been thinking maybe we should move as you only live once and I've been living in the same place for 32 years, I need a change of scenery.

BUT I'd probably see more of the ILs as they'd visit and DH said they'd be staying with us, as I'd let my parents stay - no win situation!

Has anyone made the move with small children and if so how have you coped? Also, has it made life easier being away from the ILs??

[H&B'sMum]

We didn't have children at the time but before we got married and for 3 years after we lived with DH's brothers. At one time I had all 4 boys living me!!!!:eek: It certainly made DH and I closer as we had to specificly make time for each other. Often we would spend the whole weekend in our bedroom so to have some privacy. If you do end up living with IL's just make sure you have boundaries and set rules first that way everyone knows what is suppose to happen in regard to the children.
You are a braver woman than I, I couldn't do it now.....

[melfunction]

Yes, we moved (to a different country :D ) although we didn't have a child at the time. The move was (in part), to get away from my family.

There is no one that can let us have 'we' time, as in DH and I going out for dinner by ourselves.

We don't have any support here, but trust me, it has its merits!!!!

[draught]

We don't have any family here either, and moved when DD1 was 6 months old. In some ways it is hard with small children as I had always relied on the working environment to meet people, but in other ways it is easy as you meet other parents through play group, swimming, pre-school etc. When we moved I thought it meant my IL would visit less (they previously lived a 5 hour drive away but though nothing of ringing to say they would be at our house in a couple of hours:eek: ) but they come to visit several times a year - and yes, they stay with us - small house, small children, loud and large visitors......makes for some interesting times. My advice - if you are going to do it, make sure that your new house is equipped for visitors - they will come, and they will expect to stay so you need to make sure you have room for them - and for you when they are there.

[Rainbowbrite]

The move was (in part), to get away from my family

We're tempted to do that too. I'd do anything to get away from my dad ;)

RB

[reAllytee]

Im thinking of buying an island that way they wont be able to call or write & we wont even tell them where it is ;) :p
Tempting isnt it :rolleyes:
But in all honesty that the one thing that keeps me from moving. Having them visit & then them staying with me which would mean i get stuck at home with them while my partners still goes off to work :eek: No thanks !
I guess i will just suffer through being in the same state.

[Rainbowbrite]

Im thinking of buying an island that way they wont be able to call or write & we wont even tell them where it is
Tempting isnt it

Oh yeah :)


But in all honesty that the one thing that keeps me from moving. Having them visit & then them staying with me which would mean i get stuck at home with them while my partners still goes off to work. No thanks !
I guess i will just suffer through being in the same state.

Thats why you make sure there is no room for them ;) We have a 3br, one for us, one is the study, and the other is for MJ eventually - fortunately there's no room in there for a spare bed cause MJ has soo much stuff :p

Oh & our lounges are to small to sleep on :D

RB

[ozzysmum]

we leave for Perth in 5 weeks - it's as far from sydney we can get without actually leaving the country :eek:
my mum is fine, even my spunky man agrees there, but his folks are ... um ... difficult. every time they do something thoughtless, stupid, rude or annoying my man just takes me by the shoulders, looks deep into my eyes and says "perth, honey, perth". and his dad can't travel except maybe on the train, so we are pretty safe from visits ;) we have promised to come visit them at least once a year, but we'll be staying with my mum coz she's the space for us :D
we are not moving specifically due to them, but they sure were a deciding factor!

[draught]

Thats why you make sure there is no room for them ;) We have a 3br, one for us, one is the study, and the other is for MJ eventually - fortunately there's no room in there for a spare bed cause MJ has soo much stuff :p

Oh & our lounges are to small to sleep on :D

RB


In our case, small house with no spare room ........they come anyway! We have to move kids out of their rooms, etc to fit them in.:rolleyes:

[H&B'sMum]

I have to put ours on the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[reAllytee]

Oh yeah.
Thats why you make sure there is no room for them. We have a 3br, one for us, one is the study, and the other is for MJ eventually - fortunately there's no room in there for a spare bed cause MJ has soo much stuff.
Oh & our lounges are to small to sleep on :D
RB

Hahahahah !
I wish that would work !
My partners brother moved to Canberra & has since gone to Melbourne but tried to get around that by not having a spare bed let alone any furniture so he could avoid them visiting & the likes but they were so determined they took sleeping bags !!!! :eek:
Now he is so "happy" :rolleyes: when they come to visit as they now do "work" around the house to help him out !!! They gardened & fixed lights last time & took an old curtain that was in my laundry when we moved in for his bathroom even though he didnt want one & gave it as a present !!!!
We are giving him the heads up this time as they are visiting in September & because he hasnt got canisters for food or tea or coffee she has been saving old tins & coffee jars to take down to him !!! We tried not to laugh about it !!!! Like why would you give him that for starters but if he is happy having no canisters why make him use those :confused:
Oh the wonders !

[wkali]

Oh I have been tempted to move interstate to get away from the IL's too but the thought of them staying for a few days is enough to put me off the idea! The only peace my DH & I have ever had was when we moved to Canada straight after our wedding for 6mths (talk about blissful!). Its no wonder I want to go back!

They have friends who only live 20mins away and they insist on staying the night as they don't want to drive home later as they consider it 'too far'! Who does that?

They got worse when DD was born (turning up unannounced etc) until I put my foot down. Here's hoping I won't have that problem again when 2nd DD is born in 20wks time.

[KiLLaKaZ]

i don't have a problem with my ILs or my family - they NEVER come to visit! (thank goodness!) tho, i haven't had the baby yet, so it may change, then! :rolleyes:

my family lives an hour or so away & never get around to calling me (unless they have something they need to discuss - heck i didn't even get an invite to my older sis's b'day party, they assumed i was working, which i wasn't!), let alone visiting!

as for my ILs, my husband is around there EVERYDAY after work, till late at night when he comes home (after i've gone to work). we've split now (still sharing a house, tho), so it kind of doesn't bother me, but he thinks i should still be friends with them & go & visit them!! what the?!! we naver really got along anyway! we come from very different backgrounds & they take a lot of what i say in the totally wrong way - i.e. i don't mean anything bad by what i say, but they think i do! :mad:

anyway, i'm sort of living isolated atm, so all i see is my husband occasionally, & my work mates at work, & atm that is alright for me as i'm so busy with work!!

[pthalokitty]

We were living in Sydney with no family around, hubbie was made redundant and we decided to move to Brissie to be near the inlaws. Works brilliantly when not living with them- didn't work well living with them as they refused to accept our parenting rules...has gotten better, but they help with the isolation you can go thru, some childcare in emergencies, and our son loves going for a visit and a swim. Like anything, good in moderation, and better than nothing at all!
em xxoo