DV & custody

[Shanaynay]

Hi all,
I was just wondering if anyone can tell me what is the norm when parents have seperated due to domestic violence - say the father is abusive, is the mother expected to leave her children with him for visitation or whatever, even when he has a violent history?
If she didn't want to, would she have to go to court and fight it, or is there a simple way?
Thanks :)

[punkbaby]

If he doesnt agree then there isnt a simple way unfortunately you would have to go to court or request that there was supervised access. Otherwise the alternative method is that he doesnt see kids at all and he takes you to court but better if you work out something with your solicitor first :)

Can tell you my story with my ex if you like just not here for all to see :D

[BlueEyedGirl]

I don't have any dealings with this, so not 100% sure on it all, but if 'they' [CSA, police, lawyers] know of the husband's past [AVO etc] then their are measures put into place so he will have supervised visits.

Hope that helps a little

[oleander]

It will probably depend on his history of violence and the judge you get at the court. If he hasn't been violent to the children, he may be able to get unsupervised access. They will probably say he has to pick them up and drop them off at a contact centre so he dosen't have to come to your house (if it's you he's been violent towards).

[oleander]

Check out the Family Court website for some up to date info aswell. Every case is different so getting a good lawyer to talk to is also a good idea.

I hope it all goes well for you:hugs:

[Pobblebonk]

I had to go through something similar, and according to the mediation proceedings, any domestic violence issues don't come into account when it comes to visitaiton with the father.

[Gumby]

If the partner is being violent, I think the best bet is to place an AVO on them, then proceed to separate/divorce the work out custody for the children. If it does go to court, the courts will see that there is violence in the relationship and possibly work in the mothers favour.

[talia11]

You could also notify DoCS about the issue - if there is no ADVO in place it is hard to disallow visits unsupervised. I would contact a solicitor, DVLO (Domestic Violence Liasion Officer) from the Police or Family Court.

[Tam-I-Am]

As far as I understand it, Oleander is right - if the violence has not been directed at the children, then its unlikely that it will affect custody at all. If it HAS been directed at the children, then its best if the mother has an intervention order or apprehended violence order out against her ex-partner AND that the children ARE ON the order. Then it will have to be taken into account when custody proceedings are underway - but custody is still decided in the same way. In Victoria, you have to attempt mediation, then it goes to court. A court ordered psychological evaluation of the children, each parent, and then each parent WITH the children is undertaken, and the psychologist's recommendations are very much taken into account.

Its also worth saying that the only case where I've heard a magistrate ordering that the children NOT have visitation with their father, the father was sexually abusive toward the little girl - he was in prison for it - and even THEN his lawyers were fighting for in-prison visitations....So its highly unlikely that a father just wouldn't get visitation at all. But it is fairly likely that it will happen in a visitation centre, under constant supervision, for at least a time, before unsupervised contacts start. And if the children are under the age of 2, visitation for THAT child would only be day-contact, not overnight (as far as I'm aware....)

I hope everything's okay, Phineas :hugs:

[ashleerose]

Okay, with my situation i was in a very violent relationship so violent it almost cost me my life.

My ex broke the avo on a number of occassions and the final time he broke it was the final straw.

Family law courts really dont seem to take domestic violence as seriously as they should, ie here i was with more than enough proof to show that he had broken an avo and they couldnt care less.

Afterall as far as they are concerned it wasnt inflicted on the kids (well not yet physically but definately mentally). In their eyes i didnt count its whats best for the children and that means letting them see their dad.

And so of to family law court we went, (i should also point out that my ex was also a druggie/junkie/alcholic and of course denied being these things and without him admitting to or doing a drug test which he said he wouldnt do because it was an invasion of his privacy) i didnt have a leg to stand on.

I really wanted supervised visits PERMANTLY as i felt that he would expose the kids to everything that i had left him for (he was in a new relationship within a week of me leaving).

But of course despite my fears supervised visits were ordered at his mothers house (kids to be picked up at the local maccas) for three months. Now how unfair is that? Here i am stuck having the two of them against me (her son is so perfect in her eyes).

Fortunately for me my ex only turned up for one and half visits out of seven and i breached him and was lucky enough to get my local judge to step in and order that he do three months supervised visits at my local centercare as well as a parenting course.
And until such time not allowed to contact the kids and guess what its no surprise that he couldnt be bothered travelling six hours a fortnight to complete the orders.

Its a hard battle we face when we leave a violent relationship and at the end of the day it will be worth it in the long run, just keep looking forward and have faith that in the long run you have done the best thing you could possibly do by leaving him.

[Chanelc]

suggest you call Maire at the National Council for Single Mothers and Children on 1300 725 470
she will help you as to whether to go through the legal system and how to get it through. Plus it is free advice.