How much say did you get about when and how you birthed??

[Hathor]

Im just wondering with your bubs how much say did you get in your birthing options?
Was it simply what pain relief you had?
When you wanted your CS,or induction?
Was it going beyond the magic 42
Or did the doctors pretty much take control and you simply had to sit back until they were good and ready?

Im due to give birth to my second bub late this month/early next. After complications arising due to being overdue and induced last pregnancy, I ended up with a very traumatic birth. The obs are quite happy to let me keep going to 42 weeks yet again however I am dead against the thought and it makes me sick to the stomache. I am just wondering how much Say did you get?
and Why the heck are my requests being brushed off? As a second time mother I really feel I should have a little more say towards when and how things should happen this time. I've been down the 'faith in the medical system' path and that faith is no longer there.

So Your experiences/opinions would be much appreciated, as well as some tips to getting my point across to doctors that know everything.

[melannh]

It appears that you are having some difficulty with your requests - and as you've already had a traumatic birthing experience - I would have thought your requests would have been taken very seriously.....:thumbsdown:
In my experience, I had alot of say. On my first visit to the obstetrician (whom I'd discussed 'assistance' to fall pregnant only 6 weeks before being there pregnant naturally) I spoke of my concerns and my major one being "PAIN".... I explained that I was rather pathetic, and openly admit it - therefore, epidural was the ONLY Option - apart from elective caesar.... He listened, and instantly put EPIDURAL on my file.... I was back and forth on the elective caesar all during my pregnancy - and although he was encouraging me to have a natural birth (ended in emergency caesar, but that's another story) he was always willing to perform an elective.
I don't know if this was due to being in a private hospital situation. As for the public system - I am not overly aware of their procedures etc....
I was just adamant that I wanted to be as comfortable (as possible) with my birthing experience, as I was aware that if I wasn't - that just impedes on my baby's health....
I guess I just expressed myself in a confident way - and basically went through it all, listened to the options and made my call from there.
I was overdue by 5 days - and my obst. wouldn't let me go any further than that.... I had a really good pregnancy - no blood pressure prob's or sugar.... So, I just think it depends on who you're dealing with, but I hope I can encourage you to REALLY SPEAK OUT and be comfortable with your situation.

GOOD LUCK:fingerscrossed:

[bronny-jane]

i had a lot of say... with zoe only because me and my doctor were concerned about how she would cope being inside me for too long... in my case i was at a high risk of the placenta failing because of previous problems in my pg.... so we attempted inducement the day after her due date,,then the next day..and it worked then...

when they thought the baby and i would be fine... it was up to them really...

tell them your concerns....

my doctors never let me hit 42 weeks... 41 weeks... and then induced

[bekkyboo]

I thought i had a lot of say, but when it all came down to it, i didnt have a lot.

They had agreed that it was mine and hubbies call on when to go for c'section, as i was high risk because of my heart, and hubby and i alone know my behaviours when im starting to not cope. But they sent him home during the labour as "i wasnt far along and nothing was happening" - my waters broke and they pretty much took over from there on in.

Next time i will be putting my foot down.

[neostudded]

:hugs: Iam sorry bekkyboo

[nemosmum]

DS~

how much say did you get in your birthing options?
Pretty much none at the end

Was it simply what pain relief you had?I was so unprepared I took what ever pain relief they offered

When you wanted your CS,or induction?They insisted I have an induction telling me I would be putting my babe at risk otherwise (they didnt even do a scan to check bub was ok)

Was it going beyond the magic 42
Almost both bubs were 12 days late

Your first birth sounds alot like my first one

*12 days late and the docs insisted I be induced which lead to
*complications
*drugs
*intervention
* traumatic birth for both me and bubs!
*seperation of me and my bub for almost 10 hours leading I believe to bonding problems, bfing trouble and later PND

My second I went through a birthing centre

I got to choose my pain relief,
how I wanted to birth,
As I went Over again the middies where so helpful with giving me natural methods of induction
I found out so much stuff that no one told me last time

I was booked in for an induction BUT the night before I went into labour and within an hour and a bit Bubs was out safe and sound no drugs and it was a beautiful experience,
I got to stay with my baby the whole time and got to leave 5hrs after bubs was born
Its amazing the difference a great birth can make
I bonded straight away with my baby, love bfing and have had no reoccuring PND!
I feel GREAT!

Gd luck with your birth hun I hope its amazing:wizard:

[Hokey Pokey]

They pretty much left us in peace during labour, just came in did their checks and off they went. When it came to pushing I was on my hands and knees which I wanted but then we had some problems so I had to turn onto my back so they could pull her out.

[ikis84]

Pretty much none. I wish I was more assertive. So much for 'informed consent'. This time I am hiring an independent midwife and having a homebirth. The hospital can shove their policies up their ***.

[luckymama]

Pretty much none. I wish I was more assertive. So much for 'informed consent'. This time I am hiring an independent midwife and having a homebirth. The hospital can shove their policies up their ***.

:yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap: Go Ikis :D

[Shanaynay]

Hathor :hugs:

I totally understand your frustration and feelings, and know exactly the fear you feel right now. Exactly.

But I think in my case it was a little easier, because whereas you want the hospital to actually DO something (ie. not let you go to 42 weeks), I was the opposite, I didn't want them to touch me.

I think it's probably easier to insist they leave you alone than to insist they actually intervene and do something iykwim.

I can see why they are brushing you off, but can't explain it.... I guess they think/know (none of us can ever really predict what is going to happen in birth) that the best thing is to leave you alone till intervention is NEEDED.

Which is great in most cases - but when a patient is so nervous, so fearful, and feeling sick to the stomach (I know all those feelings!), then they really need to take that into consideration.

I know it doesn't help, but chances are you won't even get to 42 weeks, you'll go into labour spontaneously and everything will be fine :babydust2:
But I know it doesn't mean anything to hear that when you are the one about to go through it all :o

I don't think there's really anything I can say except that I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now (although I had different concerns) and if you need me at all, at anytime, day or night, I am here :hugs:

[Shanaynay]

Oh, and to answer your actual question :o

Well I went into labour thinking I wanted this, I wanted that etc... when I was there I was actually quite happy to lay flat on my back being monitored. Not sure what they would have done if I kicked up a fuss at all though.
At one stage, the midwife phoned the obstetrician as bub was in distress and I was having scar pain, and he told her to let me keep going, as I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted a VBAC (even though at the time I think I was demanding a cesarean!).

So I think that helped a lot. Prior to my labour, the Ob knew EXACTLY what I wanted - I wanted a VBAC if it damn near killed me (obviously as long as the baby was safe). And I honestly believe if I had been under the care of any other midwife of Ob, I would have ended up with that ceaser.

So I guess, just spell it out to them as much as you can over the next few weeks, what you want to happen during your birth. Hopefully if they hear it enough they might actually start to give a sh!t.

But that doesn't really help with what you want before the birth (ie. not going to 42 weeks - IF it comes to that) - my advice is to write your concerns on paper if you haven't already, and go through it very carefully with hubby or mum, and take them to the appt with you and get them to go through it with the CP - and don't let them get dismissed by cr@ppy answers.
It's easy for us to get a bit emotional and tearful at appts when trying to tell them want we want, so it's easy for them to just dismiss us as hormonal pregnant women and just about ignore our requests.

Good luck :thumbsup:

[elissas]

We went through a fantastic birth centre and got our say on everything. They informed us of all the pros and cons with any decision we had to make, but told us each time that it was ultimately our birth and our decision and they cannot make us do anything we don't want to.

If you want to have a say, I suggest steering clear of the standard "medical" delivery suites and going for a birth centre instead.

[tru]

We wanted a natural birth with minimal intervention and that's exactly what we got. We created some "birth wishes" and presented these to our midwife at the hospital at about 7 months. Luckily, they were all very supportive of natural birth and very interested in the benefits of hypnobirthing. We didn't really deal with doctors at all - just didn't feel the need to.

My advice is to do lots of research on the type of birth you want. Be clear and assertive with what you want. It's your body and your baby. Best of luck in achieving the birth you desire.

[elissas]

We wanted a natural birth with minimal intervention and that's exactly what we got. We created some "birth wishes" and presented these to our midwife at the hospital at about 7 months. Luckily, they were all very supportive of natural birth and very interested in the benefits of hypnobirthing. We didn't really deal with doctors at all - just didn't feel the need to.

My advice is to do lots of research on the type of birth you want. Be clear and assertive with what you want. It's your body and your baby. Best of luck in achieving the birth you desire.

Agreed! We also did hypnobirthing, and the middies were totally supportive. They'd had a lot of experience with hypnobirthing and water birth and were very excited by our plans.

We too only saw a doctor once throughout the entire pregnancy, and that was because it was hospital policy.

[Hathor]

Thank so much for your responses so far!
Ads much as I would love to use a birth suite none would touch me because of my previous c Section.

I just cant get my head around the fact the obs seem to think they should have all the say on When and How I should give birth. While they are fully supportive of a trial of labour they are completely against listening to any of my wishes or concerns!
Im finding it incredibly frustrating.

Since when did i lose all of my rights as a woman? Since when did I lose my ability to make decisions regarding my body and my child? :mad:

[tru]

Have you considered hiring your own midwife and having a homebirth?

There are some women on here who've have wonderful VBACs at home :)

[allysophia]

\My birth.

100% my choice

Everything done or not done was on my word !!

Natural. Nil Intervention birth.

Best experience ever. I would have HATED being out of control. In fact, I frankly wouldn't have put up with it. :D

[allysophia]

Since when did i lose all of my rights as a woman? Since when did I lose my ability to make decisions regarding my body and my child? :mad:


Sadly, the moment you stepped into their hospital.

Homebirth for 2007! :D

Your midwife. Your support people. Your choices.

As a VBAC I'd:
1. find a hospital that was FULLY supportive of your decision, no ifs or buts
2. Homebirth.
3. Freebirth

Birth is SAFE.

Good luck!

[tootiredtosleep]

Hathor, can I ask what hospital you are going to? I live in the same area and this is exactly what I am trying to avoid..

I had no say during my first pregnancy, the public hospital that I went to was not the best and I am hoping that next time is better.

I guess the only thing that I can suggest is shop around for another doctor that will listen to you. I plan on seeing a GP the whole way through my next pregnancy, who listens to me.

I hated the hospitals clinic, and seeing lots of different doctors.

[FourAngelKisses]

I had 100% control all 4 times in a public hospital.

[kristi001]

I went in To the hospital with the Only intetion Of getting The Baby That was In My stomach Into the Outside world safely... :yes:

How that went about i Didnt really give a toss!!

Oh I Lie i Did request that i steer away from Pain relief So If they Could Not offer me any until i ask.

Which went out the window cause they offered it to me ever 3 mins... :D

but We Ended Up with a Drug free natural birth So i guess I Can be happy With that!

Goodluck Hun!
:hugs:

[shed]

I wanted a drug free natural birth and that is what I got.

I was offered pain relief the minute I got in the door (Pethidine or epidural - it was like they were reading from the menu). DP told them that I would ask for it if I wanted it and they stopped asking after that. I also had a doula so the midwives didn't really do much. I mostly ignored them.

I went to the same hospital as kristi001 ^^