Lovely new forum!

[sarahstarfish]

Wow - thankyou hubub from all those interested in egg donation! A lovely new forum to chatter in.....egg donation is in the public eye so much lately, can see this becoming a busy little spot.

Well seeing as I am first here, I will introduce myself.

My name is Cindy, I'm a SAHM and have two small children and when I was pregnant with my second, like a lot of mums, I used to read the ads in the Child's and wonder how amazing it would be to give someone the chance to create a life...but nothing more concrete than that, wasn't something that *I* could do. Then when I had my son, I saw an ad that I couldn't get out of my head and decided I had to take this idea further. I searched online and found out a lot more about egg donation, and ended up approaching a clinic and asked to be matched to someone on their waiting list that I wanted to meet and get to know.

I have donated twice now, with my first recipients having twins, but my second recipient not so fortunate and BFN. It has been an amazing experience, and I have met some wonderful women, and families, and have cuddled some very precious donor conceived children.

I am just delighted to see this forum here so more people can learn about egg donation, and not just the good stuff, but the rough stuff as well, so if they want to donate, they can make informed decisions.

Thankyou Admin!

Love

Cindy

[moonblossom]

I really couldnt do this myself, well i could for my family. But saying that i so do admire the women that can, and if i were infertile what a gift it would be. Keep up the good work, you bring so much happiness into so many peoples lives, I really admire you.

[littlepickle]

I think I could do this, but probably not util I felt that my own family was complete iykwim. I couldnt do surrogacy though, but egg dontion woould be something I could consider

[kimmy]

hmmm i really don't know if i could do this, but i do admire those who do it is such a special gift you are giving.
hugs, good on you. :D

[Seekrit]

I've considered Egg Donation.. it's not something I would do until my own family is complete.. but hey, if I'm not going to use them why not give others a gift? :)

How are eggs collected?

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Ladies

Nikki - yes, most clinics really prefer you to have finished your family in case anything happens during your donor cycle - is very, very rare but your own family comes first. The eggs are retrieved via a very fine needle that pricks the tiny cysts that the eggs grow in and then the fluid, with the egg in it, is sucked out. The needle is on the end of a vaginal ultrasound probe thingy. Usually under general anesthetic so don't feel anything, and most donors find they are back to normal the next day with only a bit of discomfort to remind them. I'm a bit awful and after both egg pick-ups went and had yumcha - so no problems recovering here!

Love

Cindy

[xkwzit]

Hi Cindy

First I wanted to say that I do admire you for the priceless gift you are giving these couples.

Then I wanted to say that it is something that I could never do (apart from *maybe* to a family member who I had known for a lifetime). I don't think that I could let go enough to let someone I didn't know raise my children (I guess it's the "my children" that's my whole issue/problem :rolleyes: ).

Do you ever feel "possesive" of the babies? Do the clinics provide help for you if this were to be a problem? It is such an incredibly important thing for all of you, that I wonder how well the system screens or helps people.

I'm genuinely interested in knowing how this works - not at all having a go at you. I think that if this is something you can do for others, it is an incredible gift for you to be able to give.

Cheers

[Peaceangels]

Hi & welcome Cindy!

I admire you for being an egg donor, to an infertile childless couple it would be the most incredible gift someone could give.

Prior to having children, I would probably never considered being an egg donor, but having been through an emotional rollercoaster for almost 6yrs TTC with our first, I would definately consider it now (once our family is complete).

When we were TTC, two very close friends offered to be egg donor and/or surrogate mum and although I declined their offer, I was very touched that they felt that way about us. It was such a selfless act and one that I will never forget, they both hold a special place in my heart.

Do you have a link for a website with information?

[Supermum]

Welcome Cindy

I loved reading about your choice to donate your eggs, it's a beautiful gift to give. I saw an advertisement in a magazine not too long ago, a childless couple asking for help with some eggs. My husband and I have discussed it extensively and I'm really interested in donating. Our family is complete and my girls are in good working order although they may be a little old:( .

I've sent you a PM for more info.

deb

[MilkOnTap]

I think donating eggs is a wonderful thing to do - before I had my two ectopic pregnancies I often considered donating eggs.

I do wonder what the repercussions of 'anonymous' donor sperm/eggs could be - ie, if two children of a single donor met/fell in love/had a family...

I definitely praise those who donate eggs/sperm for others who are not so fortunate - but I firmly believe that anonymity should not be an option.

[sarahstarfish]

Oh my goodness - I knew this place was busy, but !!

Deb, have PM'd you back...your girls aren't quite out of the picture just yet!

Ally - I too believe anonymity should not be an option, I think every single person should have access to their unique genetic story, and I can only think those who keep this information from those they love most are terrified about the repercussions. Although the legal system has yet to catch up, more clinics appear to be moving towards outlawing completely anonymous donation and only using donors who consent to be later identified. There is so much more to the gift than the 'good' feeling of 'helping someone have a baby'...its all about what kind of responsibility a donor feels or perhaps should feel, they have towards any life concieved.

Peaceangel - oh bless your friends for offering, what big hearts. Am just checking with Admin if I can PM a link to a great support group so will let you know. Six years is an awful long time to TTC - I can't imagine your journey.

xkyzit - am coming back to answer you - need a coffee and some reinforcements, you lot talk too much for me!

Thankyou so much for your interest.

Love

Cindy

[Roxy]

Hi all!!

Have been told that there is some great discussion going on over here about egg donation and that I should check it out!

I am also a donor, having donated late last to to a very close friend who has no eggs of her own.

I cant tell you how I first came across egg donation, but do remember thinking that it was something that I felt I could do. I chatted to my DH about it, and he was very supportive.

My friends didnt get the BFP that they were hoping for in November, but have some embryos frozen that they will use soon. If they dont get pregnant from those, then I will donate to them again.

I am also happy to answer any questions you might have... :)

Looking forward to checking out the rest of the forums too...looks great!

[ness2061]

Hi girls!

I'm new here & so happy to see a forum regarding Egg Donation. I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with the help of Donor Eggs. I went thru premature menopause way, way too early :mad: & therefore didn't have any eggs left of my own when I wanted to start our family. To cut a rather long story short my very kind & generous cousin donated Eggs to me last year & here I am almost ready to have a baby!! :D

I couldn't be more thrilled & excited about this baby coming along -my cousin is over the moon too & is going to be a special part of my baby's life.

I'll just keep it short & sweet for now but just thought you'd like to here of a success story!

xx

[xkwzit]

Wow Ness
That's a great story, how wonderful to hear from "the other side". Thanks so much for sharing :D .

And thanks too to Roxy for sharing also.:D I really admire you for giving your friend the most amazing and priceless gift ever.

And Sarah
Take your time hon, I'm always here (well at least once every day :rolleyes: )

Cheers

[stellaj]

so do you meet the people you are donating to beforehand? I would definately consider doing this when i am done having kids. Do they try to match you with someone who looks similar or anything? Just curious. Thanks

[My3kids]

That is the best gift you can give someone. Thank you for giving someone a special gift, I think your wonderful! Best Wishes

[Wish_Bear]

I have often read Sydney's Child and wondered about egg donation. It is something I have thought about and could possibly do. I feel that if I can I should give others the gift/chance of having children. It is such and amazing part of life and I feel everyone who wants to should experience it.

My DH is against egg donation but I think once we have finished our family I may be able to talk him round. His thought is that it would be 'my child' but I don't feel that way. Hopefully in a couple of years i can convince him to give others the gift of children we so easily recieved.

You wonderful ladies who have donated eggs, I take my hat off to you all.

[mishy]

Hi There,

I am Mishy and I am considering donating my eggs :) Hubby thinks it is a wonderful idea and "so me" - always trying to help other people and never giving a thought to myself which frustrates him to no end but it is what I like doing best!

I have joined some wonderfully supportive support groups and am currently researching the ins and outs of ED.

There are so many beautiful people out there waiting to become parents and sadly without our help - they may never get the chance to experience the joys we live with each day... and to me that would be a tragedy.

To all those people thinking about becoming an ED - there is a wealth of info here on the WWW and you don't have to commit straight away. Research now... arm yourself with info and when the time is right for you - there will always be someone waiting in our midst to receive a precious gift from you.

Huggles,
Mishy
Mumma to DS - Lachlan & DD - Mikinley

[Roxy]

so do you meet the people you are donating to beforehand? I would definately consider doing this when i am done having kids. Do they try to match you with someone who looks similar or anything? Just curious. Thanks


If you choose to do a known donation, then yes, you do meet the people you are donating to beforehand. In most cases, you also orgainse what kind of contact you would like if they do have a baby (photo once a year, or more, etc).

I certainly had met my recipients before I landed on the table in the OR undergoing a general for egg pick up :)

However, you can choose to do an "anon" cycle too, for a patient on an IVF waiting list. In these cases, then you usually dont meet the recipients. You usually just have your details recorded in the IVF files. Victoria has a compulsory Donor Register where all your details will be added, so that any child from your donation will be able to "find" you if they ever want to. Some of the other Australian states are also moving towards this.

My biggest bit of advice to any lady wanting to donate eggs is to take your time. Dont rush your decision, as once you have donated its too late to change your mind. Ask all the questions you can think of, and then think of, and ask, some more. Read everything you can - you would be surprised at how much you can have your eyes and mind opened by reading some of the donor-conception books that are out there.

[Mash]

Hi everyone,
thought i'd come and add my little bit here to add to Ness's from the other side of the fence;) ..
so do you meet the people you are donating to beforehand? I would definately consider doing this when i am done having kids. Do they try to match you with someone who looks similar or anything? Just curious. Thanks
I have always known i would need to use donated eggs to help me become a Mum... I really wanted to have a strong friendship with whoever was donating to us (this is not what everyone wants though of course) .. I never put myself on any clinic waiting lists or had to advertise.. But i have been very lucky and had 2 wonderful friends donate to us in the time that we have been trying.. One who i have been very good friends with for 17 years :eek: ) and one who i met on an internet forum who has become one of my closest friends( hi Hon!) Anyway I guess what i'm trying to say is looking similar wasn't really important to me but having a good friendship and good communication was and is.. Most important like my friends Cindy and Roxy have said is finding out all the information you can, and then armed with that info finding a recipient( or a donor) who wants the same things that you do out of the experience...
We may not have had luck yet but are working on it ;) and its lovely to have such great people around me :)

[Mum2Lucas]

I'm only twenty and have seen heaps of ads for egg donors. I decided while i was pregnant that once I finish my family I will donate egg's

[shed]

I also wanted to donate eggs once I had finished my family, but I am 36 and just having my first now, so left it too late I think.

[sarahstarfish]

Hi Ladies (and old friends!)

I might pop a thread on about ages etc as there are a few questions about that. Funny how many women decide to donate when they are pregnant or breastfeeding - and I don't think it's hormones either. I was still breastfeeding when I answered my very first ad and it was more to do with an acute awareness of how amazingly fortunate and the 'motherlove' connection with a baby. Or is that hormones??

It is just so heartening to see so much interest.

Love

Cindy

[The Waffler]

Hey Cindy,

I thought I would come on over and give the girls here my 5c worth.. :D

Ok well I am a donor (I did my first donation last month)... We are currently in the 2ww to see if my wonderful recipient is pregnant and I am anxiously awaiting the news too!!!

Like the others have said, I too used to see ads in the paper wanting an ED and I always thought that I would like to do it once I had finished my family.... Well as it happened I was on another website (another quite popular one) I went to the ED section and started reading, over the months I read and thought about it more and then one day an ad just appealed to me more so than all the others I had read.

HEre was a wonderful lady who had been trying to have a baby for 10 looooong years and after numerous miscarriages she had decided to advertise. She put her heart on her sleeve and appealed to someone to help make her dreams come true... Well I believe it was fate, looking back now we were meant to meet!!! Here I was still breastfeeding (lol Cindy) and in WA there is a cooling off period of 6 months before you can do a known donation and since I only had 4 or so months left of breastfeeding I decided that now was as good a time as any.

I approached her via email (I was the only one to respond to her ad.. poor thing she didn't even get a choice of donors, she was stuck with me.. lol) and we just chatted and over the course of the month, we emailed and msned each other and just generally go to know each (we are both in WA and live 15mins from each other) We met and had soooo much in common it was freaky!! WE even hate peas!!! :p

I would never have believed that I would also make a beautiful friendship out of this, I was just donating because I felt it was my duty. I have two beautiful girls and I was sooo lucky to get them sooo easily (you never realise just how lucky you are until you go into the assisted conception threads and other fertility threads and see just how much **** some women put themselves through to have a baby....

It's not fair, life sucks that some women have to miscarry time after bloody time to still not get to hold that life in their arms!!!, but I can help and so can you other women who feel the same way that I do......

I don't look at it as my baby or half my baby, I see egg donation as the building blocks to a baby, my egg is such a small part of the whole process and really it's the person growing the baby in their womb that has the connection, its their blood, it's their thoughts and feelings that this baby knows from day 1... not mine....

I went into this with only a couple of rules....

1. I would never do anonymous donation, it's not fair on the child..... My recipients had to agree on some sort of contact/updates but how much was entirely dependent on them.... The minimum I wanted was a yearly email and photo. I am not doing this so that I can have another family....

2. The recipients had to have similar ideals and upbringing as myself at least that way I could be assured that the child would be well looked after.... I got her to put down her thoughts and ideals before I told her mine that way I knew she wasn't lying... we clicked...

Anyhoo... to cut an extremely long story a bit shorter :D (hence my user name is a good one) it has worked out fantastically and I have absolutely NO doubts about my lovely recipients at all, they will make the best parents and the best part is that because we all get along SO well (we have a wonderful friendship that will go on after ED) I will get to have as much or as little contact in the future childs life as I want, they are just sooooo proactive with it all and want to make sure that their child knows me (he/she will be told from day 1 how they came to be).....

As for the physical side of ED, well it was a breeze... It was a month out of my life that was slighly chaotic but definately doable and soooo well worth it all... (if you find the right recipients, and as Cindy and the others said take your time)...

Ok I have bored you all to tears by now.. well those of you who are still with me.. lol.,..I am more than happy to answer questions on here or by email if you want to know anything.... Those of you who are REALLY serious about doing this, go and read, read, read, get all your facts and then approach Cindy, we are part of a fantastic group of ladies consisting of recipients and donors so you get all your info from the horses mouth... lol and no I'm not a sponsor or on the admin of the site I am talking about, just a member who has found it invaluable in the whole ED process....

Good luck ladies and follow your hearts, you might get more out of ED than you thought you would... Give someone the joy and heart wrenching love you felt the first time you held your baby in your arms.. remember that moment????

Regards
Caro

[My3kids]

Good luck ladies and follow your hearts, you might get more out of ED than you thought you would... Give someone the joy and heart wrenching love you felt the first time you held your baby in your arms.. remember that moment????

Regards
Caro

Dearest Caro

I think your a WONDERFUL person.

Very touching was your last paragraph, If that doesn't get people donating I don't know what will.

Best Wishes

[SuperWoman]

:p I think this is a great topic to have in this forum. Women who donate their eggs to infertile couples are amazing. Well done to all of you, you are truly inspirational!!!:p

[Marchmelissa]

Hi Waffler,

What a trully wonderful lady you are. A true friend. It sets my mind at ease as I go down the Egg Donor path to know that there are donors out there with great feelings and emotions where this subject is concerned. I hope there is a donor out there for me like you.
I feel so nervous still about finding someone and asking them to be my donor becauce it is such a personal thing you are asking them to do. How can we not bond.

GOD I HOPE THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR ME.
BECAUSE I WOULD MAKE A FANTASTIC MOTHER I HAVE NO DOUBTS AT ALL ABOUT THAT.

Well maybe just afew little ones.

Anyway good on you Caro and your recipient I hope your friendship grows with time.

Melissa

[The Waffler]

Hi Melissa,

You will find your special angel I can assure you of that!!! When you do start looking for one, I would suggest making the ad speak from your heart, a really soppy ad will do it every time!!! Thats what sucked me in with my recipient... lol

I'll never forget the part of her ad that caught me hook, line and sinker..

She said that she wanted to be woken up in the morning with her kids jumping on the bed to wake her up!!!!

Unfortunately it didn't work for her last month, she got a BFN. But she is going again this month with 2 frosties, so heres hoping that it works this time...

Good luck Melissa I hope you get success soon.. No one should be deprived of a child if they truly want them.... Don't be nervous in your hunt for a donor, just remember that we donors are just as scared as you are, we are worried that no one will want us!!! When you are ready for a donor, come and visit us at Aussie Egg Donors, we have all sorts of wonderful ladies in there, both donors and recipients and some have even paired up.... YOu just need to apply to get in as we are a very private bunch and dont' want others just sticky beaking in there if they aren't intending on sharing with us....

Might see you there...

Caro

[Marchmelissa]

Hi Caro,
Great that you replied.Once I build up enough courage, Im sure with my partners help we can put an honest and heartfelt add together.
Yes I do know about Aussie Egg Donors and Im a member, just waiting to fulfill my 20 posts before I can place an add for a donor. You might come across me in there as well my name doesn't change much and Ive bragged about how great my partner Trevor is.
Thanks
Melissa

[Roxy]

Hey there Melissa!

I am also at AED as a donor, but admit to using a totally different user name there (one that is actually more like my own name lol)....

You sound wonderful hon...how's about joining in more so that we can get to know more about you over there?? I personally know a donor or 2 who are on the look out for recipients.... ;)

[Marchmelissa]

Hi Roxy,
Sorry I didn't reply to you sooner but was away on holidays until early Feb and had to get back into the swing of things.
I am now actively searching for my donor as you can see by my ad I have posted here and over at AED.
Im trying to give you as much information about myself as I can, but boy it is so busy in here.
Anyway it's nice to be back.
Melissa