Crazy Myth: Only Super Wonder Women can have drug-free natural births and/or vbacs [Archive]

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becca74

10-07-2007, 14:05

There is this bizarre notion that it takes some kind of special woman to have a natural drug-free birth. So, the woman who chooses to have a natural drug-free birth at home must of course be a special wonder woman.....check into that equation a previous caesarean - then wow, she must have magical powers.....and what about a couple of previous caesareans.....she really must have the sun shining out of her behind, she is THAT special that she can achieve such a feat....

what a load of codswallop!

I am soooooooooooo NOT a wonderwoman in any way shape or form.

Portrait of me, the HBA2C Mama:

Totally disorganised. I have been in a rotten mood for the past week as I have had the flu combined with strep throat - WOW have I been a stroppy moody cow. What a whinger. I bite off WAAAAYYYYY more than I can chew in life, I let people down, I cant control my children, my eldest tells me regularly that he hates me. I struggle to get up of a morning, now that is a struggle!!, and usually I leave the washing up overnight, vaccuum about once ever 2-3 days. I have tried Flylady so many times it is ridiculous - so my husband caved and got me cleaners which visit once a fortnight. I never have time to put on make-up, I wash my hair about only once a week. I havent had a hair-cut in about 18 months. I cannot cook anything more complicated than pasta. I hoard for Australia, I havent folded or put away any of our clean clothes now for about 10 days, they are sat in a pile (falling out of the laundary baskets) in my family room. I constantly start things that I cant finish. I havent properly made my bed in about a week (my husband has pulled the duvet up to pillow level on a couple of occasions). I never make my kids beds. My cleaners, after their first inspection, made the comment to me "your house is unhygenic - not good for your children".

Now.....how in the h*ll did that woman manage to push a baby out of her vagina, in her home, despite 2 previous c/secs, 12 months ago, drug-free??????

The answer is this: because it is just birth, that is how my body was designed all along. It didnt take a genius or a miracle woman. It just took a vagina and a pelvis which swung open the way nature intended.

Anyone can achieve the birth I had last year....ANYONE! Even super-women can achieve what this woman, who struggles daily, achieved.

So stop with the crazy mind-set that women who do what I did have some super-human power, some super-human ability of endurance.

Any woman can do it. You are woman. Just roar and get on with what you were born to do!

(the above copied from my latest blog entry)

Are there any other natural birthers/homebirthers/vbac mamas who wish to help me to dispel the myth that it takes some special magic to achieve what we have achieved?

nemosmum

10-07-2007, 14:13

Great post!

I recently had a natural rather quick (1.5hrs) birth after a traumatic/heaps of drugs and intervention birth three yrs prior(does that make sense?:D )

And no im not a wonder woman:no:

Even though alot of people (friends/family) labelled me as such coz I went home about 5hrs after bubs was born.....I think that shocked them more

The myth that somehow after having a baby you are meant to stay in hospital and be treated like you are ill or something

For me my natural birth was more a mind set, i was determined to have a better experience than last time and help my baby enter the world with less um drama than my first bub had

I educated myself and used the power of positive thought

That and my body did most of the work:o :D

becca74

10-07-2007, 15:21

Isnt it amazing NM, we educate ourselves about birth, and what do we learn works best??: to not 'think'....just 'be' in birth, 'be' in the moment......I mean, any animal with half a brain pushes it's young out of it's body, and generally that success lies in the fact that they are not thinking about what they are doing....they just get on with it.

After Noah's birth, I do feel like I have found the key to opening other doors in my life.....but one has to think in terms of the chicken and the egg.

Being a super-woman was not a prerequisite to having the birth I did, and it certainly didnt unlock some door to unleash a super-woman that was hiding within me....

I can see how I could potentially apply the process to planning Noah's birth, and the process to preparing myself mentally, physically and emotionally, to other areas of my life where I need to overcome huge obstacles.....but it means more homework, more hard graft, and more focus. It is not something that comes naturally to me.

Anyone can do it, if they do the homework.....and after you have done it, the crazy truth is, you will find yourself saying to yourself...."wow, that was so normal and straightforward, I dont understand what all the fuss was about to begin with :rolleyes:"

Bessie

10-07-2007, 15:47

Hey Becca you sound just like me, I so need a cleaner! I take on way too much, I can't get my head around being organised.
I've vbaced twice so maybe I am a super wonder woman after all... I guess if we all realised how super we all are we'd all be able to handle the stress when giving birth and we wouldn't be pushed into making bad decisions.
It's funny, the whole spin society puts on birth is that pain - agony - screaming - gotta get this thing out of my body before I die - thing. We're set up by society to fail. No-one so many of us don't trust our own bodies.
Super woman needs a nanna nap now before she gets anymore incoherent x

LittleBoysRock

10-07-2007, 15:52

IheartOman

10-07-2007, 15:55

Lucky you that is was manageable for you to have a drug free birth.

I'll tell you what happened to the woman 'back in the day' who NEEDED certain drugs and didn't get them.. they died.

Angelmist♥

10-07-2007, 15:57

Oh mate! Your housework regime sounds very similiar to mine, what are you worried about!

As much as I don't think I'm superwoman for having 3 drug free births, I am proud of myself :o I think all women should be proud to have gone through labour, regardless of how:smiliedance:

nemosmum

10-07-2007, 15:59

Funkychicken

10-07-2007, 16:15

Great post :D

I am somebody who doubts my ability to have a totally drug free birth. I had a very traumatic labour with DS which resulted in lots of intervention including an epidural, vaccum, forceps, episitomy etc etc.

I consider women who have given birth at all to be amazing HOWEVER women who have done it without any drugs are even more incredible in my eyes.

I seriously doubt I can do it even though I know it is completely natural. I am going to be giving it the best shot I can in a few months anyway!
You can! I had the works first time around. Pre-eclampsia set off an induction, epidural, forceps and many stitches. Regardless of that, I was on the biggest high known to man-kind afterwards! I couldn't believe what I had just done. :smiliedance:

But, I went on to have two drug free natural births. I did this because I made up my mind to. Planning the conception and birth of our second child involved me meditating for many hours on how this baby would come into the world. I never doubted myself once.
I have a friend (an elderly lady) who told me after the birth of each of her five children, she felt like leaping up on the bed and singing out, "I am woman, hear me roar!" I thought of her many times during labour. :yelclap:

Shanaynay

10-07-2007, 16:16

I've had a VBAC and I can assure you I ain't no wonder woman :laughing:

reAllytee

10-07-2007, 16:18

nemosmum

10-07-2007, 17:00

LMAO Ally!

You will feel like wonderwoman queen of the amazon after your next birth Ally just wait and see:wizard:

luckymama

10-07-2007, 17:07

I educated myself and used the power of positive thought

This is what i am doing too Nemosmum, and visualisation. I am GOING TO get the birth i want, at home and unassisted :D Am very excited about it too.

kymmy

10-07-2007, 17:11

Me a wonderwoman?! LOL :laughing:

Education and understanding the power of your own body is the key.

allysophia

10-07-2007, 18:48

Lucky you that is was manageable for you to have a drug free birth.

I'll tell you what happened to the woman 'back in the day' who NEEDED certain drugs and didn't get them.. they died.

Yes, the life saving cocktail of epidurals, gas, pethadine, morphine, oxytocin... etc

becca74

10-07-2007, 19:03

Yes, the life saving cocktail of epidurals, gas, pethadine, morphine, oxytocin... etc

I think you'd have to be a super wonder woman to get through a birth scot-free after being exposed to all those things, in actual honesty :laughing:

Pippi Longstocking

10-07-2007, 19:18

*swoops in, cape streaming behind*

*trips over cape*

*feels like ********* dressed in cape and underpants on outside of tights*

Orright, I am sh!te at being wonderwoman, can't I just be a sidekick? :D
I haven't homebirthed (yet ;) ) but have had natural births. I am not remarkably strong and I have a fairly average pain threshold. You are right Becca - you just kinda get on with it. It's like breathing and heartbeating etc - your body just does it, it's not something you need to actively "do".

allysophia

10-07-2007, 19:30

shed

10-07-2007, 19:30

Hey, can you guys pipe down a bit?

I am LOVING the kudos I get from my family for just having the gas. :D

Wait till I have my homebirth...they will be like this :eek:

and I am going to continue to let them think I am amazing.

Bit of shoosh will ya?? ;) :laughing:

fai firinne

10-07-2007, 22:30

I reckon you all ought to be wearing your undies on the outside of your pants in my opinion. Yep, wonderbra wearing, cape-tripping-over wonderwomen all of ye.

There is no doubt in my mind that if I had gone to the same hospital not far away, where my mother was carved when she had me, and where my friend's mother was carved when she had her, and where my friend was carved when I supported her as doula, .... I would also have been carved. Wonderwoman or no, if I had gone to that hospital to have my first baby at the age of 30, and taken 24 hours to do it, I would have had a Hospital Birth not a natural birth and I would have been carved one way or another.

I'm not wonderwoman, I'm just a lucky woman - with a midwife for a mother and due to my Obstetric training as a nurse, I knew profoundly that the medical approach to birth would not be conducive to me staying calm and in control. I would have had a really difficult birth if I had been in a hospital setting - I had a slow, patient, gradual birth that involved endurance but no trauma, because of where I was (home) and the kind of care I received (midwife). Not because I am especially tough or able. Definitely no wonderwoman qualities.

I know I would've had a medically managed birth if I'd been in a standard hospital. I see so many women who I am sure would have had a normal physiological birth if they'd been at home or in a low-tech unit under midwifery care instead of in hospital.

Sure there's women who really do need to be in hospital and a high tech unit is the right choice for them. But I also see many women who hoped for a natural birth in hospital and found that the medical approach to birth was different to what they hoped for and expected.

It sure is easier to come over like a cape-donning wonderwoman when you give birth in an environment where you can. Where they just let you.

Still, every woman who gives birth, regardless of where or how, is a wonderwoman to me and a partner in a miracle!

Wholesale patting of each other on the back all round.

IheartOman

10-07-2007, 22:33

Nicely said Julie. Thanks :yelclap:

becca74

11-07-2007, 03:01

I do agree Julie, that we are ALL essentially wonderwomen....in fact, I like to see all of us as birthing goddesses!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I am no more special than anyone else, and I had a drug-free natural birth, after 2 caesers.

A lot of my story is dismissed by many people as 'luck', a 'miracle' and I have actually had someone say "dont let superwomen try to push you into natural birth" in response to advice I have given about how to cope with and trust birth....I mean, wtf???

I am not a superwoman, I dont have magical powers, I do not have some super human pain endurance or some mystical luck barrier that kept me and my baby abnormally 'safe' during his birth last year.

All that happened was that I had a normal birth, the way I was designed to. It was a normal straightforward physiological event that didnt take any special 'abilities' to achieve.

If any special abilities were at play, it was my ability to finally fight for the birth I wanted, and my ability to do my homework on the subject, and get myself educated on the truth about birth.

Ok, what is the reality about my supposed amazing pain endurance levels: I was so ill last week from this flu/strep throat, I literally found myself saying that I wanted to shoot myself, as I was doing such a useless job at coping. I just wanted it to end. I was a miserable whingy cow. Does that sound like the personality of a woman who has so-called super human birthing powers of endurance?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, yes, birth is hard work, probably the hardest work you will do in your life. But it is normal work, it is doable work. It is not some alien feat for the 'chosen special few'.

I hope that makes some kind of sense....

I'm no different to any woman here on bubhub. I really believe that if I can do it, with all my failings, foibles and weaknesses....any woman can give it a shot....

That is how much positive faith and belief I have in our womanly potential.....:hugs:

nemosmum

11-07-2007, 08:59

This is what i am doing too Nemosmum, and visualisation. I am GOING TO get the birth i want, at home and unassisted :D Am very excited about it too.

see I think anyone who home births is def. a wonderwoman....to have the courage and belief in yourself to homebirth with confidence is SUPER imo:yes:

fai firinne

11-07-2007, 22:59

If any special abilities were at play, it was my ability to finally fight for the birth I wanted, and my ability to do my homework on the subject, and get myself educated on the truth about birth.

You nailed it right there, Bec.:yes:

I think many women who got 'the works' in a system that had grave concerns about their instrinsic ability to birth, would simply give birth amazingly easily in a different, more supportive environment.

Different place, different care, different philosophy - and even super-wimps like me can have a baby and look like Amazons.

Homebirthers aren't special women. They're just ordinary women blessed to have special care, respect and support.

Wish every woman in every birth place had that.

But given that that's not always on the menu, we each need to be very canny, wary, fully-informed and slightly uncooperative consumers.

our little treasures

11-07-2007, 23:51

I dont care what anyone says if i manage to get through this birth the way i want to ( without drugs ) im certainly calling myself wonder woman !!!!!!

LMAO !

Im petrified about it all but at the same time figure if i managed to get through 3 days of a posterier labour last time before taking anything then i can do this !!!!!
Ally I am so with you!!

Yes, the life saving cocktail of epidurals, gas, pethadine, morphine, oxytocin... etc
:laughing: I was thinking similar

Super Trooper

12-07-2007, 10:58

I kinda contradict myself because i too think that to have a natural birth you dont have to be superwoman, but every woman who has given birth is a superwoman... Make sense? :o :D

Anyhoo i havent actually been through labour and birth yet, but i am determined to have a drug free homebirth... but will go to hospy if something wrong, or i wimp out and want drugs!

I figure all women throughout the centuries have kept the species going.... without the option of drugs or c/s or hospital (until recent times of course), than i can too :yes:

I think women today are so scared of birth because all of the interventions (which yes are necessary for SOME) take away from the experience, and most women you speak to about birth tell you about the horrendous pain and trauma, and movies etc have the woman on her back in stirrups! And i reckon this fear is what makes birth so horrible for most women i talk to, they expect it to go badly so it does, and dont understand that we are physiologically capable and nature rewards us for our hard work. This is stupid, and so extreme in our society to the point that the only people that know i want to homebirth are DP and my mum, and you guys of course!

I was expecting a bad reaction from my mum... because her description of birth is that 'if i had a knife on me at the time i would have cut you out the pain was so bad...' So i was expecting something along the lines of 'you will need drugs to get through it' as her response... but she actually thinks its a good idea!:eek:

Just goes to show that if society werent so damn hellbent on scaring pregnant women into going to hospital, and condemning those who stay at home as 'reckless' or not caring about their babies, maybe more women would have the birth of their dreams.

becca74

12-07-2007, 12:53

I kinda contradict myself because i too think that to have a natural birth you dont have to be superwoman, but every woman who has given birth is a superwoman... Make sense? :o :D

.

I get what you mean.....woman in her natural, normal state is an incredibly powerful being. It is only because of a society that teaches that women are weak and incapable of completing a physiological act that is unique to us, that we are under the illusion that only a rare few women are 'super women'. But that is an illusion, a lie from a society that has male domination ingrained into every fibre of it's being (heck, only several decades ago women were considered so inferior to men that the big 'O' was considered impossible for the majority of women, and that only a rare few 'freaky' women could achieve them - now that attitude seems to have transferred to the 'freaky' women being those who have natural drug-free births :rolleyes: ....we are not freaky.....we are normal!)

Just goes to show that if society werent so damn hellbent on scaring pregnant women into going to hospital, and condemning those who stay at home as 'reckless' or not caring about their babies, maybe more women would have the birth of their dreams

Couldnt have said it better myself.....again, this is an illusion of a male dominated society that wants to frighten women into submission.....

no1bub, you are destined for one incredibly powerful and beautiful birth experience :hugs:

Super Trooper

12-07-2007, 15:34

no1bub, you are destined for one incredibly powerful and beautiful birth experience :hugs:

:hugs: Aww shux... thanks becca74, that made me feel all warm and fuzzy! :yelclap: :D