what would you do

[Rhileymaggie2]

Well i went to my mums 50th recently. my whole family was there, stayed in a house with my 3 sisters, DH and 4 kids not all mine.
I know that my sisters go to Dh for advise that dosen't worry me.
I woke up at midnight that night Dh and jodie were down stairs which didn't worry me. Because i could hear them, but as it went on she was saying how she was lonely,(she has just broken up with her bf) she has no one to talk to.
Then she was saying how lucky she was to have a bil like him, that he is special.

Then it went all silent so i went to see what they were doing, got down the stairs they were all snoggled up in a blanket, i could here them kissing and god knows what else. I went up stairs to get another sister soo that i could prove it she went down and asked what was going on, Oh nothin is what came out. I followed her down and said how i'd seen them, then i went back upstairs to lock the house, but as i left i heard jodie say" oh what have we done" ( they are both drunk)

But they say that nothing happened, i don't belive them.:mad:
I talk to my sd about it and said that it would not suprise him if jodie was to do that.

Now i don't know what to do??:gloomy:

[mum2littleman]

sorry i dont no what to say but im sending u hugs:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[SalTheGal]

OMG :hugs:

What a horrible situation to be in. I really don't have any advice- cept that I would want to be getting to the bottom of it pretty quick smart.

Did you actually see them kissing- if so then there is your answer as to what happened.

And then you need to decide what next? How do you feel about your husband, let alone your sister.

Personally if it were me, I would NEVER be talking to sis again (how could she do that to you- her own flesh and blood), as for husband, well I guess it lies in your heart if you want to work through it or not, but I highly recommend counselling- regaining trust is hard to do on your own.

Good luck- I hope it all works out. :hugs: :hugs:

[naybee]

Oh honey - that's awful!

As the others have suggested, you need to get to the bottom of this pretty quickly. Maybe get another family member to talk to your sister - and you need to get a straight answer from your DH (as painful as that may be).

You won't be able to move on or deal with anything until you know what's gone on.

In the meantime - I am sending you :hugs:

[Chlo-Bo's Mummy]

OMG!!!! :hugs: you poor thing!!!

I am absolutely shocked..... and with your sister..... :eek: AND... when you are right upstairs!!!

You need ppl around you that love you and support you... and this is not what is happening by the sounds of it!!!

You wouldnt want your kids growing up with a man that would do this to you!!!

Really make this desion based on when you need in your life... dont feel sorry for them at all...

:hugs: :hugs: I am thinking of you!!!! I am just a PM away if you ever need someone to talk too!!!!

[Rhileymaggie2]

Right now all i want to do is to lock myself in a room, and speak to no one!
Can't do that with kids though.

I have tried to talk to my sister about it, all she is saying is that nothing happened, and that dh is not her type.

I don't realy have any one to talk to. Can't speak to my parents about it, they would belive her over me any day.
My sisters would only go back to her a tell her everything that i'm saying, which dosn't help.

I no i shouldn't but i've been trying to avoid the subject with dh. rhight now i'm finding it hard to talk to him about it, every time i think about it, it makes me feel sick:barf:


______________________________
me 24
dh 40
rhiley 2:devil6:
maggie 6 nonths:angel:

[OJandMe]

Sorry... but what an a$$! Don't avoid it, it will only make you feel sicker. Let him know how hurt you are, how betrayed you feel. Let HIM do the work to make you feel special again.

I know how it feels... it makes you feel sick... I know exactly how it could have happened... no one thinks straight when they are drunk. I wouldn't think you DH 'fancies' her.. but let him know that you are disgusted, hurt, betrayed, utterly crushed and he's BETTER make it up to you BIG TIME...

and I wouldn't have much to do with my sister for a while.. not until I got an apology.

I've been through this, not with my sister but with a 'mutual friend' (who I can safely say we're no longer friends with) alcohol and people who have just broken up do not mix well with alcohol and people who are 'caring' 'trying to help' 'say the right things' opposite sex... not a good combo!

:hugs: PM me if you want to talk. But don't keep it to yourself, your DH NEEDS to know how hurt you are and how disgusted you are with his behaviour and that you will not have a marriage like that!!

[Missy75]

:hugs: I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.

Don't let alcohol be their excuse! If you do, how will you ever be able to trust your husband around alcohol and other women again? Most of us can drink and not cheat.

[SixtiesChild]

You have an awful situation on your hands & I hope I don't sound too presumptuous but
I would take a big break from seeing sis for a while, at least until you can find out from your dh if something really did or didn't happen.
The snuggling under a blanket is innapropriate behavior but especially from your man. Tell him how it appeared from the way you saw it and how much it hurt you. Tell him not to do it ever again! If he loves you, he will do this.
The truth will emerge fairly soon if something did happen. This is the key. The truth always shows itself eventually.
From what you have described, perhaps something did happen but if it didn't then your sis may want you to think it did, to make you lose faith in your dh so that she can move in on him.
If nothing happened then you are free to build on your relationship with dh and it should never happen again. (By his agreement of course) But you need to find out from him what the story is and then ask him to keep away from your sis because she is being manipulative. Tell him also that He is NOT her problem solver. Try to keep your cool as much as you can.
If your sis sees that you and dh are happy again, she may even change her story from one of nothing happened to something really did happen in a last bid to make you not trust him.

I really hope for your sake and all concerned that nothing happened. :hugs:
As for sis, you need to act like nothing happened, as she is claiming at least until the truth shows itself.
You will see & what you do next will be up to you.

[Rhileymaggie2]

I haven't seen or spoken sis since it happened, she now lives 6 hours away.

I have talked to dh, and he said that nothing happened and that nothing would ever happen between them. I don't know if i belive him just yet, but time will tell.
But i think that wouldn't stop sis, she is very jelous of what i have and will try to ruin it( has done it before)
I told him that i didn't like that he was under the blanket with her, and how it looked to me. and he said that it will never happen again. I will wait and see.
Thanks for the advise.

[TTannyaa]

Gosh, you seem very calm about it, I think if it was me I'd probably be like a bull in a china shop.

Big hugs for you, I hope it all works out. :hugs:

[sunnyflower]

you said they were snuggling under a blanket.well i would never snuggle under a blanket with my BIL.you said you heard sounds of kissing.sounds to me like something happened but you don't want to deal with it.i would probably leave for a while but thats me.i can't believe your sister would do that to you...

[Angelmist♥]

I haven't seen or spoken sis since it happened, she now lives 6 hours away.

I have talked to dh, and he said that nothing happened and that nothing would ever happen between them. I don't know if i belive him just yet, but time will tell.
But i think that wouldn't stop sis, she is very jelous of what i have and will try to ruin it( has done it before)
I told him that i didn't like that he was under the blanket with her, and how it looked to me. and he said that it will never happen again. I will wait and see.
Thanks for the advise.

Hmm, I'm going to be absolutely honest with you.....I think he's lying and I think deep down you know it too.You heard and saw them. Do you think maybe, you are wanting to believe him?Mate, I really am sorry for being so blunt.I've been there though and I know I wanted to believe my DH's lies.

[Blessed Mum]

I'm really sorry that you are going thru such a painful time. I could go on but its not positive or helpful lol, so I just want to say I hope you find peace in all of this no matter what you decide or the outcome & happiness of course :hugs:

[brookeme]

Hmm, I'm going to be absolutely honest with you.....I think he's lying and I think deep down you know it too.You heard and saw them. Do you think maybe, you are wanting to believe him?Mate, I really am sorry for being so blunt.I've been there though and I know I wanted to believe my DH's lies.I know it must be really painful for you and I would probably not want to believe it either, but I agree with angelmist. Sorry hun. I would definately confront him and do it with confidence! Tell him you are not an idiot, and (if you are willing too) if he was to admit what hapened, maybe you could sort it out. Your relationship is important but not at the expense of your dignity and you dont want to continue it if the rest of your life being taken for granted and disrespected. It will also teach your kids to disrespect you if you let this type of thing continue!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: to you! Good luck!

[Rhileymaggie2]

Latley i have been thinking on going on a little holiday, just me and the kids.
To think about everything that is happened.

I think that i just didn't want to think about it, and have it all go away, but i know i have to deal with it.

[Angelmist♥]

Aww hun:hugs::hugs: A holiday does sound like a good idea.Just to think about things with no added pressures.

I really do understand what you are going through, please let me know if there is anything I can do:hugs:

[neostudded]

Iam so sorry :hugs: I dont know how you must be feeling right now, Iam not sure what Id do if I was in your situtation.Everyone has offered some good advice though, Goodluck.

[mbrbbt]

Hi just checking to see how you are going, hope you went on that holiday.

[Rhileymaggie2]

hey i'm off on my holiday next week. it'll be good to get away.

[Noah_and_Elijah]

Divorce :shame:

[Tingles]

Like someone else said - you just don't snuggle under a blankie with your Bil:confused:

I feel really sorry 4 you - if you can't trust your own sister who can you trust!!!! But it doesn't sound innocent - sorry:shame:

[Angelmist♥]

How was your holiday hun?How have you been since all of this?

[Rhileymaggie2]

My holiday was good,it was good to get away, the worst thing is realy i had no one to talk to.
So i off to see my other mum( best friends mum) and my besty, and have someone to talk with that has been through the same thing. My own mum dosen't belive me, which dosen't realy help can't talk to her about it.

[sunnyflower]

Your mum is really between a rock and a hard place,of course she doesn't want to believe you,it's a horrible thing to have to believe about one of oyur kids.

I definately think you need to talk about it though,so by all means talk to your besty and her mum.

[Rhileymaggie2]

It's been realy good to get away to talk to besty and her mum, and to have some time to myself. It has helped a lot to to someone who isn't taking sides.
Dh is keeping his space now, so that i can work out what to do next.
HE keeps telling me that nothing i have nothing to worry about.