Major MIL Vent!!!!

[Tabbyguizmo]

ok this is my first time having a vent but i am just so annoyed... ok we don't have a car because we havn't had the need we are close to everything. anyway when ever we have had to go somewhere my mil offers to take us and we have said no were ok (never been rude to her) anyway she sometimes will insist she take us and on the rare occasion we may say yes and we have always had to give her petrol money everytime and this isn't because of the petrol prices she has always done this anyway every trip has cost us $10 for just down the road or $20 for a 15 min drive geez she is getting a load of money!!!! she says we don't give her enough she is sending us broke so i stopped any driving of us anywhere which is how i like it she borrows money and never gives it back we never take anything from her we pretty much support her and we don't live with her.... anyway she has ripped us off time and time again. my hubby got a really expensive bike and she cracked at him and said he could have given her the money instead and she would drive him (how needy) and yelled at him to let her drive him to work so he let her then rode his bike onwards. ok point is her car was paid for by her mother and her insurence and rego has always been paid for her and she has to pay for the service but her not paying for anything has put her brand new car in a bad way, and my dad is a machanic so it would be a free service but she would have to pay for the parts and total cost would be roughly $5oo in total and she wants us to pay for it as she thinks it's our fault that her brake pads are worn out and her car needs a few minor motor adjustments we go in her car maybe once a month max but she thinks that it's our fault her car needs a service and tells people that we make her drive us everywhere. we are always giving her money because she has none or no food or something like that. keeping in mind that she is hubby's mum, i thought parents helped there kids not abuse there help we support her and she treats us like cr@p like this. do u think we have given her enough money when we give her $20 for a 15min trip oh and her car is a small 2 door daewoo lanos 3 years old and very fuel efficient:banghead:, my dad has the same car and he drives 2 kids to school travels to and from work and goes out on the weekeneds and it costs him $25 a week she charges that in one trip grrrr.... she gets everyone else to deal with her problems. it's not fair. we give her fuel even when we don't go in the car because she drives to all her friends places all the time even stays there so she can get a free meal wtf it's crazy.... sorry it's so long anyway what are ur thoughts are we unfair or is she????? :mad:

[melannh]

Well, firstly I am sorry that you are going through this. Your MIL sounds extremely selfish and it isn't fair that she is putting you in the position of 'giving' her money..... I dont think there is any easy answer when it comes to situations like this. It appears that her 'helping' with the driving is just her sheme to get money - and in two words - she is 'using you'....
Could you discuss it indepth with your DH and he talk to her? As for paying for the car service - NO WAY... I think it'll come to the point that you may need to distance yourselves a little bit, even for a little while. She obviously needs to get her stuff together, and if you aren't there to clean up her mess - well, she'll either have to find another person, or do it herself.
I just hope it doesn't continue to get you and your family down too much.

Take care and hope it improves soon.
:)

[mishlc]

Firstly :hugs: the biggest hug for you!

I can't say I understand where your coming from or anything because I've never been in the same situation but I know I lean on my parents for support so much! My Mum drives me places and takes my DD to daycare 2 mornings a week, we borrow her car whenever we need as we only have 1 car and sometimes DH needs to go somewhere and I need to go somewhere else and if Mum can't drive me she just lets me have her car and we have never given them a cent. The role works both ways tho, occasionally she borrows ours or her or my Dad need to be picked up from somewhere after a few too many or whatever and it is just what we all do for one another.

IMO you MIL sounds like a witch with a B and I would be exactly the same as you in not taking lifts or anything and if she offers to give a lift it should be because she wants to help you out and her son and grandchild...there should be no expectations for money for it.

I would be fuming!!!!!!!

Hope it all works out for you :fingerscrossed:

:hugs: xxx Mish

[Tabbyguizmo]

thanks for some views, my hubby didn't know yet but i told him and he is furious and disapointed in her but we know she won't change she'll end up not fixing it, she doesn't like to pay anything or clean her house she is always out and about with friends that's where her fuel goes, she got the car brand new now it's worth maybe $4000 but once it fail's it'll be worth maybe $2000 and considering it was brand new and now almost worth nothing but she didn't pay for it so to her it doesn't matter it just seems to be everyone elses fault.. grrr sorry frustrating. well still need some thought's and views.

[Missy75]

NO WAY should you give her any more money. How does she have so much control in your lives? Don't even tell her that you ever have to go anywhere, or if you do, lie and tell her a FRIEND is taking you for FREE. You could get a taxi cheaper than her rates.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's good to know that your hubby is suportive of you, and hopefully he won't allow his mother to manipulate either of you anymore. :hugs:

[EskimoMumma]

She should pay for it herself because shes ripping you off and being extremely selfish and I would be personally telling her that myself.

Or getting into DP's ear and having himd o it.

[Mahjong]

Rude! She should pay it herself. You are already paying her fuel, so it's not like you are taking her for granted...

I would seriously consider looking into booking a taxi, cos she's charging you their rates, if not more!

[dancingchipmunk]

You already give her money for fuel, way too much but thats just my opinion. If you were driving and had an accident and she asked you to pay then it would be a different story but as it's for a service, new brake pads then its her responsibility.

Tell her you are greatful for her help with driving every now and then but as it is her car and she is the one who uses it it is up to her to pay.

Good luck with it all.

[kirstyE]

Oh you poor thing.:eek:
Do not give in to your MIL. She is being plain selfish! I hope things get better for you:hugs:

[SalTheGal]

:no: :no: :no: No way should you be giving her any money.

But I think at the end of the day the only way to put any kind of stop to this is to be FIRM and flatly refuse ANY lifts.....no matter how persistent she is.:no:

[our little treasures]

I would tell her to get another quote on the service. It wouldn't cost that much and my FIL is a brake mechanic and he only charges for parts $50.00 a huge difference from the $500..

[Tabbyguizmo]

thanks guys it's not just the brake pads, my dad's a machanic and is doing it for free to service it but she has to pay for the brake pads and a new timing belt, she assumed she was taking us to my sil's house this sat i told her today flat out NO and she seemed annoyed as it's her way of showing how nice she is (cough yeah right) just because she is taking her mother along too but we have said no i told hubby he was happy with the decision he has tried talking to her and she just swears at him and says he owes her money for raising him wtf i don't know of any parent that expects to be re-enburst for raising there kids we certainly wouldn't expect our 2yr old to pay us back for all the food and nappies we have given her, she's just redicculas i think she's annoyed because we are her only income for fuel lol now she will have to pay her own.

[Odessa]

Wow! Your MIL is a special one. I would not be giving her one red cent more if I were you. She's gotten enough money from you already. As the other ladies have suggested, give her a wide berth and don't accept any more lifts from her.

[catalicious]

I agree do not give her any more money.......

If she wants to give you a lift t shouldnt cost you anything at all.... She is supposed to do it out of the goodness of her heart...

My Dad always jokes about us paying him back for raising us but never like that.... We always joke like that...