Vent about infuriating family!!

[Shana]

I'm not what I would call 'excited' or 'enjoying' this pregnancy, but I am starting to look forward to November and meeting baby. Due to my lack of excitement, I really don't like too much attention regarding the pregancy from family etc, as I'm tired of them asking - am I enjoying it yet? and I have to answer - well, no, not really. I'd rather they just didn't ask b/c I can't tell them what they want to hear.

So traditionallly in our family an "announcement" (after 1st tri) and little "celebration" is made when you are expecting, but in my case, I was so sick with m/s they all found out/guessed at about 7 weeks. I'd lost my excitment by then and didn't care about doing anything fun and cute to tell them. I really don't want fanfare of any kind or extra attention like I'm suddenly more important now then I was before! :confused:

So I asked my sis to make sure my dad (ring leader of unwanted fanfare) knew, which she did. Fast forward to about week 16, and my dad calls to ask if I am feeling better, I say 'yes' and he says 'why were you sick?' as though he has no idea! :mad: I was fuming!
I said he 'knew why',
"No" . .
'Yes you do'
"No, I don't know"
'(sister) told you'
"No she didn't"
and back and forth with him blatantly lying.

So I give in and tell him I'm pregnant. But obviously I didn't make it sound exciting enough, so he pretends he didn't understand what I said so I am forced to say clearly and loudly - 'I'm preg-nant . . . and you KNOW THAT! (sister) TOLD YOU!!!!'
He then says "She wasn't sure" . .
"Yes. She. Was.'
" - well, I wanted to hear it from you."
:banghead:

I was hopping mad! This no doubt seems like a really stupid thing to get mad about, but my father is the sort who thinks all women should be pregnant and in the kitchen. He only tells me he's proud of me when I do somthing he wants - namely get married and have children. So I honestly don't want or need his 'approval' for having finally gotten pregnant and making him happy.
He then goes on to ask when I was coming to town (my family lives 2hrs away) so we can have a 'drink' to celebrate. I immediately said NO WAY. No drinks, no dinners, no annoucement. I can't think of a more superfluous and attention seeking thing to do, than have a family get together to make 'official' my pregnancy? How rediculous is that?

Anyway, sorry for the rant. My dad has a unique nack of really peeving me off. I'm not sure why it is, but I really take exception when others indicate that this is what they want me to do. And that I'm finally pregnant as though it was selfish of me to live my life my way!
I'd really love to just dissapear for the next 6mths and come back when it's all done.

[Africamum]

Shana,

i completly understand how you feel.

I dont like fuss especially when I am trying to downplay something.

I am sorry to say, but I think it only gets worse not better.

I hope the morning sickness passes soon.

Cheers

[Lozie]

:hugs: It would be hard my dad is the same cause i always seem to have boys he think we are having them for him:confused: it's annoying! Dont worry about them u'll get the snobby label for a while if u stay away but they get over it, I'm always a snob when I'm preg apparently***wheres the rolly eyes when ya need it!*** this will do:cool::D Hugs hun it will get better! Dont worry about family just focus on getting yourself thru each day!

[Vespera]

I feel you about family thinking you are doing things for them

My DH has a 7 year old sister (interesting story that one) and MIL told me I have to have a girl because his sister wants a sister not a brother! Ummm number 1 it wont be her sibling regardless of the gender and 2 I'm not having a baby so her daughter isnt an only child!

Arrrgh!

[Shana]

Thanks ladies. Sometimes I just want to tell them to mind their own business.
Your 'snob' comment is interesting Lozie - I avoided family when I was really sick at the beginning (didn't need an audience) and my when I spoke to my brother he said "no one is offended that you've kept to yourself . . . " This was to reassure me but instead I thought - I don't care if they are offended or not! What has this got to do with THEM? I have a right to be in my own home and not have visitors if I so wish!
Sometimes it's nice to have a close family, but unfortunately it often crosses into 'interfereing'.

[chalky]

I totally understand Shana - my MIL can get on my nerves (and she lives 2 mins away). I have been feeling very emotional/tired etc of late - every time she hears this she says 'make the most of it b/c no-one will pay attention to you after the birth, everyone will fuss over the baby!'.

It really upsets me to get no empathy and be told to enjoy feeling how I am. Why can't she say something nice? I'm enjoying pregnancy but its no fun bursting into tears for no reason. My DH understands and just says to ignore her...