He wants us Back I am having trouble letting go

[Issey]

Did you have total certainty when you broke up or just weighed it up and made a decision based on what it was. :confused:

[OneBabyBoy]

Hi Debster, I didn't read this before you deleted it but I just wanted to say that with me and my ex is wasn't just a clean break. He left me, then came back and again and again etc. We were off and on for a while and it just dragged out the hurt. There wasn't any "total certainty" at the start but I can see it now. But then, I wasn't the one to initiate the split so I (stupidly) wanted him back and so I took him back. But it was always a mistake. I can see now that even though it hurt so much, it was for the best. I am much happier without him.

[OneBabyBoy]

I just rambled a bit but I hope that answers your question Lovely :hugs:

[SamanthaJane]

He initiated the split, and at the time i didn't want it - wanted to still be with him. But we have been on and off since then. Now we are at a place where we have to decide once and for all what it's going to be... and i can't decide on that one. He has hurt me alot, and i don't know if i can forgive him... Wouldn't it be great to see into the future to know what you should do!

Not sure what your first post said either :detective:

[Issey]

Thats what I was asking, I just gave more detail in my first post and since it had a lot of views but no responses I deleted it because I was feeling pretty low last night and thought that no-one really wants to read my misery and I should think of some happier posts. :crying:

My ex DH verbally demonstrates how much he is going to change :ecomcity: :ecomcity: but then doesn't do it. Or maybe he really believes that he can but....just can't.

I decided to give him a trial which didn't last very long, when confronted about something he did that he had promised he wouldn't (gambling more than he should), he fled because he got angry and then wants me to take him back for another chance because he is sorry.

I think my heart wants to believe it can be ok but my head doens't agree IYKWIM. I have no idea where he is even staying atm as told him to give me space. He also said that if I don't want us anymore than he is going interstate.

I think you are right about prolonging the hurt, because it messes with your head and your coping mechanisms. :o

[V8]

Sorry to hear you are going through this, i hope in time you will reach a point where you know where you and the relationship is headed, only you can make the decision to take him back or not. TBH it sounds to me as if he needs to grow up.

[Chanelc]

Debster - it isn't easy to move and let go it takes a lot of time and then you will still have doubts and moments as you have children together. Don't be hard on yourself give yourself time and follow your own mind - only you know what is right for you

[nelly75]

Firstly, sorry you felt no-one cared! I would have replied if I had of seen your post earlier.

My DH initiated the split, I would have stayed to put up the pretense of happy families. However, he also stated that maybe in 12 months or so we could always get back together if he changed his mind.

No way would I ever let someone walk out on me then take them back if they "changed their mind" I don't believe in going back and I would feel I would have no self respect if I let him take control like that - if it's over then it's over! Of course that is JMO and every relationship is different. Good luck:hugs:

[Issey]

Thats ok.

I am kinda hiding from ex DH, talked to him last night but really not knowing if I want it, although want happy families etc as everyone does there are a lot of things he has done to destroy that over a long period of time and can't see it fixing in 5 min. :gloomy:

I think I have to get him over and tell him I can't do it, no matter how much it is killing me to say that OUT LOUD. :crying:

I am planning a trip to keep my mind elsewhere.

[Chanelc]

Debster - tell him the truth and if he is going to change well he has to prove it. I feel for you as I understand how hard it is when you love someone and you want to believe and see the good in them - but you are right it can't be fixed in 5 mins or overnight.. it takes years to rebuild trust and for anyone to modify their behavior. People don't change they modify to their environment - I learnt that from my dad a reformed alcoholic

[Issey]

I tried ringing ex DH tonight but his phone is off or flat or something.

Anyway I can tell from his bank account as I can view it, that he is on a path of self destruction :mad: :crying: