#2 (poo) question - what would you do??

[funnyfarm]

I have put this in the general section, hoping to get a broad response.

DD1 (just turnt 3 in early June) toilet trained herself last October for wees, and is doing great, even wearing undies to bed at night.

#2,s is a different story, she asks for a nappy on, goes and does it and then gets it changed for her. She refuses to do them on the toilet.

Because this has been going on for about 8 months, i have just about had enough. Today we have run out of her nappies, so i have told her she has to go on the toilet. Well it has been 3 hours, and she has refused. She keeps saying she has belly aches but won't go.:banghead: :banghead:

what would you do? would you buy some more nappies or keep persisting on going on the toilet?

[pebilz]

How old is she? Maybe she isn't ready yet. My DD is 27months and won't go near the potty or go a second without a nappy unless it's bath time. It terrifies her. I am not going to pressure her and I don't think that's the way it should be and certainly won't work either.

[peta1410]

No more nappies I say. Looks like it's time for drastic measures. May sound harsh but I think a few pooey knickers may soon stop her toilet tanties. :fingerscrossed:

[funnyfarm]

She has just turnt 3.

Thanks
Janet.

[mumof three]

I voted "buy more nappies" but wouldn't just "hope she grows out of it". I don't think forcing her to go (or poo her pants) is the way to go. If she decides to dig her heels in you not only have a battle on your hands, but it can become a "who's in control" issue and she can decide to exercise control by deliberately pooing in the wrong place.

I would let her decide about the nappy, but give her lots of incentives and rewards for choosing to use the potty. Draw up a chart with places to put stickers when she does a poo in the potty. Take her to a $2 shop and let her choose a packet of stickers that she likes, that are reserved for when she poos on the potty. If she has no interest in stickers, link it to another reward. If she chooses not to use the potty, put her nappy on without commenting (don't give her attention, even negative attention, for the behaviour you don't want - just accept it without fuss). If you have a success, throw a parade - let her ring daddy/granny at work and tell them, give her a special treat, make a big deal about it, etc.

good luck!

[pebilz]

Oops sorry. Didn't read your OP properly.

[Ana Gram]

I say buy more nappies. I have just gone through this. There are only so many pooey undies you can deal with trust me.

If your child is as stubborn as mine, putting her in undies won't make her go.

Never try dealing with a very stubborn toddler I say!!

[charlen49]

My younger sister is going through this exact same thing at the mo......but recently had some succuss...she's made a poo chart( a chart with stickers..for those with a weord sense of humour!)..anyhow when she does #2's she gets a sticker on chart and when she has a certain amount she gets to buy a special treat/toy of her liking....so far its working...though my sister did say the first one looked like she was giving birth..she clung on to the toilet for grim death!!!!:yes:

[funnyfarm]

Thanks ladies, i am currently doing a sticker chart for staying in her bed at night and it is working, may have to get another chart going for poos.

I have told her that when she does her first poo on the toilet, i will go to the shop with her a buy a special toy for her first poo, AND, we also have a lolly jar with jelly beans (her favourite) in it and told her that every time she does a poo, she gets a jelly bean. Still didn't tempt her. :banghead:

I am dreading the first poo. Hope it doesn't hurt her too much and scare her into doing more. Still tossing up whether to buy nappies tomorrow. AAARRRGGHHH.

[SmileyBJ]

Just a quick question, does she understand when she needs to do a poo? Or is she still working out the different bowel movement feelings?

[cwsmum]

Where does she go to do her poo? What if you got het to sit on the potty/toilet to do it, even tho she has a nappy on? Get her used to sitting there to do it then in a few weeks 'accidently' run out of nappies again and suggest that she sit on the potty/toilet without the nappy.

I don't know if that will work, but might be worth a try :)

I remember when DS was TT'ing he didn't like to poo on the toilet coz he didn't like the splash :laughing:

[funnyfarm]

Yeah, she knows when she needs to go. She comes and asks me for a nappy on, goes and does it and in a matter of about 1-2 minutes she has finished, comes back to get me to take it off. When i change her there is no wees in the nappy, so she has her sensations right.

I think that when she does them in her nappy, she is standing up, so sitting down to do a poo might be a bit strange to her. I have tried recently to get her to sit on the toilet with her nappy on to see if she will go and she flatly refuses.

AAARRRGGHHH, the joys of toddlerhood.

[SmileyBJ]

Hmm... Sorry I havent came across this situation before... I'm a little puzzled... lol. As you said the joys of toddlerhood :)

Sending :hugs: of patience your way!! lol

[2s'nuff]

I'd keep up with the sticker chart, special lollies and toys for momentus occasions.

A couple of ideas:
- introduce more dried fruit, bran (hidden in spag bol etc) and pear juice into her diet so she has a bit less control over holding onto it, there's more of a chance 'it' will happen if you can get her onto the toilet in time
- Do you have a toilet seat with steps that she can rest her feet on or just one of the seat inserts? DD1 was funny about doing poo on the toilet until she felt secure (no feet dangling) while sitting down to do the deed.
- Sit her on the loo after a big dose of dried apricots with a few books. DD1 often sits reading and singing songs for while each time she has a poo.
- if you continue using nappies, leave it on her for a bit longer after the poo, be busy for a while. If she associates the yucky feeling with pooing in the nappy, she might be easier to convince to move to the toilet.

Good luck

[OJandMe]

Buy some flat cloth nappies :thumbsup: just your regular terry square ones.

and try the sticker chart.

Just fold the flat nappy in a triangle and put that on her... just tell her it's the new 'poo' nappy until she decides to use the toilet.

You can get 12 for about $20 at Big W. And if she's only using them for poos it will save you money in the long run... also, she may not like going in them.. so choose to use the loo. :detective: :D

[peta1410]

Gosh, you all make me sound like a tyrant! :( The only reason I suggested this was because it unintentionally worked on my son. He was 2 when he decided he was ready for tiolet training and had a few accidents in his pants, we never got cross at him when it happened but he always got upset because he knew poos are meant to be in the toilet and IMO he felt it differently in his pants than in a nappy. Because of his age he didn't understand the whole rewards chart thing, although I do agree it's effective for teaching older kids. Even those thicker cloth training pants may be the way to go until she masters the poos. Personally I think if she's in knickers for half the time and in nappies for the other half she's getting mixed messages. Honestly, I think we sometimes handle our kidds too lightly these days in fear we're going to emotionally damage them for life. All kids develop differently and some techniques will work better on some kids than others. Good luck with it all. I know it can be stressful.

[Ana Gram]

No, you aren't a tyrant. You have suggested something that worked on your child, the rest of us have made suggestions based on our own children.

Every child is different which does tend to make it all the more frustrating as you sometimes have to try every suggestion. And for some of us, even those don't work!!

[funnyfarm]

SHE DID IT. :smiliedance: I was still asleep in the spare bed thismorning (in their because DD2 is still a bit sick so i can be up and down to her all night and listen out for her better) when in bounds DD1 yelling that she just did a poo in the toilet.

She apparently negotiated with her daddy that if she went on the toilet, she got a new dummy (hers has been getting flat and i was prepared to just let it die and get rid of the dummy altogether, but she had other ideas) and getting a toy car and a book. She is 3 and already negotiating toys and new dummies. :laughing:

Well we got to the shops today to get the presents and she suddenly wanted a new fairy dress (instead of the car and book) . She has been living in it all afternoon so i may have a pretty good bargain item if things get drastic. :devil6:

She slept fairly bad last night and i think she was probably getting belly aches all night seeing as she needed to go yesterday afternoon and held off.

Thanks ladies for all your responses, hopefully this will go alot more smoothly than i thought. :fingerscrossed:

Janet

[SmileyBJ]

YAY Congrats!! :D

[2s'nuff]

:smiliedance: hope she keeps up with it.