Is this harsh......

[nemosmum]

Ok so ds is doing great with tting he is fully ttrained with number ones and has great control and almost never has any accidents anymore which im very:smiliedance: :yelclap: happy about

BUT number twos are a very different story,
he has control over them and knows exactly when to do them iykwim

He will hold it in at kindy and only does them at home usually under a table in his knickers OR worse yet he'll wait till his in the bath and Im distracted (cleaning up the bathroom or talking to baby etc) and then do it in the bath:barf:

I am really at my wits end with him coz he knows exactly what his doing and proudly tells me afterwards

So today when he proceeded to use the bath as his personal toilet I did something drastic

I took away his batman shirt, his fave one and i told him he wouldnt be getting it back till he did a pooey on the toilet
He cried (about 10mins) then got distracted

Do you think this is too harsh?
Would you do it? have you?

What other things can I try to motivate him to do number twos on the toilet????


HELP
Poll to come

[nemosmum]

Typo in poll *really*:o

[Lila]

i really know exactly where you are...my DS1 was the same no.1 no dramas- but 2....always under the table in his pants...no matter what.

KEEP COOL!
do not make a big deal out of it and - what i did- go back to nappies (trainers maybe). explain to him why calmy, so he knows you are not disappointed, but want to help him...
after i cooled down a few weeks- he did it by himself- without me, without pressure, without poo everywhere...
i figure they have their own pace...(was true for both my big ones, so i will proceed like that with my little one too)

good luck!!! :fingerscrossed:

[nemosmum]

Thanks Lila:)

I know its me with the problem LOL his very happy and comfortable doing it in his undies or the bath so probably wont respond well to threats :o

Its just so frustrating:banghead: when I know that he knows what his doing and is very capable of doing it in the toilet:yes:

[Lila]

oh yes- i was really cross wiht my son- because HE KNEW- but he just couldn´t bring himself to let go of the poo....
as i said, after i calmed down- it all fell into place....:o

[lilybutterfly]

No, my youngest son was the same i told him he couldn't go to kindy if he didn't do poos in toilet, that done it he went after that.:smiliedance:

[nemosmum]

hehehehehehe tough love hey:D


BTW to the mod who changed my spelling boo boo thankyou:kiss: :D


ETA~ I had to edit another spelling boo boo in this post LOL

[mum2L]

I opted for no if it works! :D Number 2's always seem to be the hardest and holding onto them at kindy is nothing new either lol At work we have a lot of kids that do that I guess because they just don't feel comfortable.

Maybe you could try a star chart or something like that? I don't know if you like to use things like that because I think some parents don't.

But if you do, you just set up a chart and everytime your DS does a NO2 in the toilet you would give him a star for it on his chart. Once he reachs a certain amount of stars he would then be rewarded for all his efforts :D - whether it be a small toy, a special outing, getting to watch a certain movie etc. It can be anything that would encourage your DS to do those NO2's on the toilet to keep collecting those stars! hehe

Like I said though, not for everyone but it might work for you guys. Good luck, let us know how you go. :fingerscrossed:

[nemosmum]

I have tried not to do this as I dont think my son will get the gist of this
BUT at this stage Im willing to try anything so i might pick one up at my local kidscentral store on the wkend as they have some cute ones
Thanks:)

[Ana Gram]

We did this. And Ruby had lots of toys taken away. Unfotunately her will to not go to the toilet was stronger than her will to have toys. And her attitde was "I don't care, I have lots of toys" *time when Mr eye-rolly is needed*

[pinkandblue]

My DD was the same. She was 3 years old and would not go to the toilet for poos.

If we had pull ups at home she would go and put one on herself and do a poo in the pull up. Or she would go and get me a nappy and make me put it on and then she would poo in her nappy.

When she was 3 1/2 I had enough and got rid of all the nappies. For 2 days she held onto her poo until she couldnt hold it no more. I took her to the toilet and she was very scared but finally she did a poo on the toilet and so she got a special present. Then whenever she did a poo on the toilet she got a special present and then she was fine.

[Desertress]

My son wast fully toilet trained at akk when he was 2.5 and my youngest was born. The only thing was he did really well at daycare but just refused to at home. So i got a sticker chart for him(which was actually supposed to be for behaviour) and he got a sticker evey time he used the toilet. For a wee or poo and he pretty much toilet trained himself in a week or two. I definatley suggest trying the sticekr chart. you would be surprised how quickly they catch on to it.

[nemosmum]

Thanks girls

Chelle~ me thinks my lil one is like Ruby beyond determined his relentless LOL

I caught him just a lil while ago he'd half finished so i just picked him up and put him on the toilet (all 18kgs of him lol)
I didnt speak coz i just didnt trust myself I am that over it today!:(
He did half on the toilet which is something*insert eye rolly here*

will give the star chart a go:fingerscrossed:

[nemosmum]

AND hey who voted I was a really mean mum????

Come on peoples that was just up there for good measure no one was actually supposed to tick that box:eek: :laughing:

come on own up you three who thinks im mean????:laughing:

[Lunar]

AND hey who voted I was a really mean mum????

Come on peoples that was just up there for good measure no one was actually supposed to tick that box

come on own up you three who thinks im mean????


Twas me! Nah just kidding, I think you're great! (you know that;) )

I think the stickers are the way to go! Also lots of praise! Did you jump up and down and do a song and dance etc etc when he did half his business on there?! LOTS of praise when he doesthings like that! Show him how great it is! Yu know go over board with it!:yes:

I posted a link to a sticker chart in another thread, check it out.

[mum2L]

I have tried not to do this as I dont think my son will get the gist of this
BUT at this stage Im willing to try anything so i might pick one up at my local kidscentral store on the wkend as they have some cute ones
Thanks:)

No problem. Like I said it's not for everyone! :)

You can also just make one yourself - a few columns to make some boxes and stickers and away you go! :D


We did this. And Ruby had lots of toys taken away. Unfotunately her will to not go to the toilet was stronger than her will to have toys. And her attitde was "I don't care, I have lots of toys" *time when Mr eye-rolly is needed*

lol Chelle, the other side. There will always be kids that don't care how many toys you take away and make it a real battle.

[mum2L]

Did you jump up and down and do a song and dance etc etc when he did half his business on there?!

Lol that gave me a giggle! :D I think NM might like to see that song and dance of yours to get some ideas!! hehe

[Ana Gram]

lol Chelle, the other side. There will always be kids that don't care how many toys you take away and make it a real battle.

We did the stickers too, we did the treats, jumping up and down with praise and joy, just putting her in undies, pretty much every suggestion given to me including suggestions from books written by "professionals".

She poos in the toilet now but it was the cat that taught her!

[mum2L]

She poos in the toilet now but it was the cat that taught her!

I wasn't going to ask, but I can't help myself lol So how did the cat teach your DD to do No2's in the toilet?? :D

[Ana Gram]

I wasn't going to ask, but I can't help myself lol So how did the cat teach your DD to do No2's in the toilet?? :D

After months of total refusal, her cat was inside. We weren't quick enough to let her out so she pooed in the litter tray. Ruby watched the whole event (from the back end) and was so horribly offended, she decided to poo in the toilet from that moment on.

[Oscar's mum]

AND hey who voted I was a really mean mum????



I will have to put my hand up and say I did - but I accidently pressed the wrong option:o So please don't take my vote into account.

[Percy]

Im not toilet training yet, so i really dont know what you are going through. Although a very close friend is going through a similar situation.

I just wanted to add that i certainly dont think that is mean. I have heard some pretty awful things that people have done as punishment and that doesnt come close!

I hope it works for you. :fingerscrossed:

[mum2L]

After months of total refusal, her cat was inside. We weren't quick enough to let her out so she pooed in the litter tray. Ruby watched the whole event (from the back end) and was so horribly offended, she decided to poo in the toilet from that moment on.

Well, well done Ruby!! :yelclap: Whatever works in the end. :D

[nemosmum]

I will have to put my hand up and say I did - but I accidently pressed the wrong option So please don't take my vote into account.

sure O'smum you've always had it in for me:yes: hahahahaha



Im not toilet training yet, so i really dont know what you are going through. Although a very close friend is going through a similar situation.

I just wanted to add that i certainly dont think that is mean. I have heard some pretty awful things that people have done as punishment and that doesnt come close!

I hope it works for you.

Thanks Jakes mum......but after reading your post I feel a bit:o as i didnt realise taking his batman top away was a 'punishment' I saw it more as a motivational tool BUT i think your right it was a 'punishment':eek: I feel terrible!
Why would I want to punish him for soemthing like that....I think I will have to vote for Mean mummy after all:thumbsdown:

[Percy]

Thanks Jakes mum......but after reading your post I feel a bit:o as i didnt realise taking his batman top away was a 'punishment' I saw it more as a motivational tool BUT i think your right it was a 'punishment':eek: I feel terrible!
Why would I want to punish him for soemthing like that....I think I will have to vote for Mean mummy after all:thumbsdown:

OH my gosh, im so sorry, thats not what i meant at all. Please dont take it that way.

I dont actually think what you are doing is punishment. What i said just came out wrong. If it makes you feel better, i am doing the same thing with DS and his trains to try and curb his tantrums.

Please dont take what i said to heart, as i mentioned, definately not a punishment.

:hugs:

[nemosmum]

no no no offense taken hun:hugs:
its just that I realised it is a form of punishment and that makes me feel horrible as that wasnt my intention at all

[Pippi Longstocking]

I picked "try something else". I know how frustrating it is to toilet train kids and how scraping turds out of underwear gets old really bloody quickly!
But rather than using punishment, even mild ones, try to be patient with him. :hugs: He won't poo his pants forever.
When my kids pooed their pants, I'd just repeat the same old "where do poos go? In the toilet!" They get there eventually. :yes:

[SmileyBJ]

Im not sure if this has been suggested before as I didn't get a chance to read through each post. But maybe set aside some time each night just before bathtime to sit on the potty, read a toileting book or sit together and chatter to give him a chance to do a poo before he hops in the bath. Even if he does'nt don't stress it, but if you make it into a nightly ritual and oversize the praise when he does do one, it may save some time elsewhere cleaning up the messy undies...

Just a suggestion :)

[nemosmum]

Thats a really good idea nannyL
I always get him to do a wee before bath time but a book might give him time to relax and forget about holding it in lol
thankyou heaps


Guv~ thanks hun I feel better today:yes:

[Oscar's mum]

But maybe set aside some time each night just before bathtime to sit on the potty

I read somewhere that a warm bath/shower helps the bowels. Which is why I think alot of kids poo in the bath - so perhaps try after a bath ;)

[nemosmum]

its too late then lol as thats when he does it IN the bath:barf: :laughing:

BUT that does make sense why he likes doing it in the bath....maybe his not being willful maybe his just relaxed LOL:D

[Oscar's mum]

its too late then lol as thats when he does it IN the bath:barf: :laughing:


Oh yes that would be too late after wouldn't it - can I use the excuse I am tired for making a silly comment :o

[Widget]

I read somewhere that a warm bath/shower helps the bowels. Which is why I think alot of kids poo in the bath - so perhaps try after a bath ;)

I'm not toilet training so really have no clue what you're going through...

Just wanted to add that a warm bath is really good for their bowels... DD has a mild form of Spina Bifida and her bowel movements aren't nice to her, she has weak sphincter muscles and her poos are always too hard and get knotted up on her... She struggles to poo on a good day but a warm bath has her doing the biggest poos without a problem...

Of course, I will eventually find out about TT and will understand this more, I'd be inclined to say patience and positive reinforcement - but as I said, I'm nowhere near TTing...

Have you asked him why he doesn't want to poo on the toilet? I think spending time on the toilet distracting him before his bath is a good idea, but it may hurt him to poo without the water IYKWIM???

Friends of ours 4yr old HATES #2s on the toilet - the toilet paper is too rough for him, so there are baby wipes in the toilet room for him so his bottom doesn't get sore from the paper...

Anyways, just thought I'd let you know about the effect of a warm bath on My DD who has bowel problems...

[nemosmum]

Thanks widget for taking the time to post:yes: :hugs:

We use wipes as well coz yeah he hates the toilet paper:yes:

[Ana Gram]

its too late then lol as thats when he does it IN the bath:barf: :laughing:


Ruby used to let them slip in the bath too. Once she even picked it up, put it up in the side, put a rubber duck on it and then claimed the duck did it.

[nemosmum]

:laughing: :barf: :laughing:

O doesnt like it, he splashes it away and cringes down the other end of the tub.....obviously not as smart as Ruby lol and a tad more squimish:laughing:

[Ana Gram]

She did do that when she first stated pooing in the bath, so never fear there is light at the end of that stubborn tunnel!

[SmileyBJ]

Ruby used to let them slip in the bath too. Once she even picked it up, put it up in the side, put a rubber duck on it and then claimed the duck did it.

LMAO!!! lol sorry, this cracked me up :laughing:

[Peaceangels]

S, it's not harsh at all, you have to go with what works for you!!
A star chart on the fridge worked for us (for both boys).

Each time they did number 2's on the toilet they got a sticker on the chart and once they had stickers on every day for a week they got a special toy (of their choice - within reason of course :D ).

Find out what toy he really wants before you start and each time he does number 2's, remind him that if he continues to use the toilet he will get it.

[Noah_and_Elijah]

I believe that a child can't be forced into using the toilet. They train themselves when they are ready.

He obviously just needs more time. Frustrating I understand but time, time, time. :hugs:

[naybee]

We have just started TT-ing with our DD and I tend to think whatever works for you!

I have already offered bribes and we have only just begun - I can only go down from here!!!:thumbsup: