Am i being stupid?Help!

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

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[rynosmum]

Its really hard to know without being in your exact situation. I often feel that I miss so many of our guest's conversations because I'm looking after DS so never really get 'full' conversations.

That said, if Hubby was getting TXT messages from someone, I'd expect him to be open about them to me - and if he wasn't, I might be tempted to throw that phone out the window !;)

Any relationship needs open and honest conversation. He may well be just trying to help her out of a bad situation, and that's fine, but he should be open about it to you.

Let us know how you go !

[SweetSerenity]

Like Rynosmum said, its a bit hard without being in the exact situation, but i would be suss too..

Me and hubby NEVER hide msgs from each other, usually if i get one, he'll read it before i get to it and vice versa.

If there's contact between them regurlarly i would sit down and have a chat with him because that's not on, especially because he only met her the other night.
Just be aware of things and see how it goes...i'd check his phone secretly too lol :p but only if i thought he was acting like he had something to hide!

If he is just trying to help her out, then it should be both of you doing it together, that way it also shows her that you ARE a family and no one will come in between you guys. Just talk to him about it again, and just tell him if he's honestly trying to just help her, then you'll be involved in helping to then.

I just think if he's just trying to help her, then he should do just that but then not really have contact with her again afterwards because there would be no need to.

Keep us posted!

Love nat xxx

[MilkOnTap]

Me and hubby NEVER hide msgs from each other, usually if i get one, he'll read it before i get to it and vice versa.
So do my DH and I. If one of us receives a message its not uncommon for the other to read it before the person it was sent to reads it (get that?) I guess its a non-verbal way of us letting each other know that we trust each other.

It does sound like a very suss situation - but again without knowing the in's and outs of the conversation its very hard to justify pointing a finger at anyone...

Hmmm - definitely keeping an eye on DF is what I would be doing!!!

[shed]

DP and I don't read each other's messages. I think thats like opening somebodys mail.

That said, I wouldn't expect him to kick up a stink if I asked to read the messages in his phone. If I didn't trust him I would be more likely just to read them anyway, without asking.

If you don't feel comfortable, do what you need to do until you DO feel comfortable.

[the_queen]

I agree with what the other ladies have said.
Also, did you check his "sent messages"? or "outbox" etc. Just because she's flirting with him doesn't mean that he's flirting back. Perhaps he didn't tell you about her messages because he thought it would upset you, or he thought you would over-react.
My DH and I have been through this kind of thing in the past, and we've realised that while every relationship goes through times of temptation, the important thing is that your relationship is strong enough to not give in to it. He used to think that I would get jealous/angry if he told me that some chick had been flirting with him. So he would keep it a secret - not realising that my real problem lay with the fact he was keeping secrets.

Hope you two can work things out! Perhaps instead of getting angry with him, just explain to him how much you love him, and how much it scares you to think that he could run off with someone else.
:)

[reAllytee]

I agree with everyone in that its hard to really say whats going on without knowing everything.
But i would definately nip this one in the bud before it gets out of control especially when you know he is one to flirt. He has to know this is not acceptable as well as it being really upsetting to you.
I think you really need to sit down & have a talk with him being really honest & open about how its affecting you etc he needs to understand this it seems. With you being honest he may then do the return & hopefully it will all get sorted as a missunderstanding.
I would definately do something about it now though before it does go any further either way cause for me personally i couldnt care if my partner slept with someone else ( yes it would hurt but i could move on ) its the emotional attachments that hurt more as well as being more destructive. Again thats my opinion so dont hate me for it.
I hope all works out for you & your family :)

[our little treasures]

Me and hubby NEVER hide msgs from each other, usually if i get one, he'll read it before i get to it and vice versa.

same here

[brooke]

I would read the sent./ outbox if he hasnt already deleted them!

What did the text messages say that she sent? Its hard to say weather you should be stressed or not with out knowing what was said!

All I can say is that I would be mad about it too...
But that doesnt mean to say he isnt innocent!

[Peaceangels]

Your not being stupid by feeling this way, it clearly show's how deeply you feel about df and tell him that (wouldn't be a good sign if you didn't show just the tiniest bit of jealousy!).

Good advice already, but you two really need to sit down together (just the two of you) and talk about the whole situation openly and honestly.

Tell him how you feel and that you do trust him, but would be upset if he was flirting via text messages. Give him the chance to tell "his" side of the story.

My mum once told me something that I have stuck by and that is to "trust, until you have reason not to". Trust him until you have heard the full story, then you may see things a little clearer.

May things work out for you! :)

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

Thanx for your advice
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