Single Mums Dating

[squirtle81]

Hi

Iam a single mother of 7 month old Caitlin and i want to start seeing people soon, but i'm so worried for my daughter. If i find someone and eventually introduce him to my daughter and we break up say in a few years time, then i will have to meet someone else, which isn't fair for Caitlin as she will be confused and wont know whats going on. I would never introduce a boy friend to her unless we were seeing each other for a while, but even then it's not gaurenteed to work out. Has anyone got any advice about how i should go about this.
Thank you

[Nicola]

its a hard decision to make and im not really sure of what advice to give!:confused: if i were you i would probably take dating and relationships very slow and if you eventually decide to introduce him to Caitlin then dont have him around her constantly. i guess its a risk you have to take. sorry i dont know what else to say but good luck and i hope you find a great guy and that everything works out well between the three of you!

Nicola xxx

[tyler's mum]

i know how you are feeling,,, tyler is 5months,,, and ive started thinking the same thing,,, as much as we dont wanna be single for ever,,, we now have our bubs the look out for,,, cause after all they do come frist,,,

im not to sure what advice i can give,,, since we are both in the same boat,,, is her dad in the picture???

i guess the best thing i can say is just take your time,,, and you will know when the time is right to start to date and let them met caitlin,,, i wish you luck:)

[Baby Girl]

The only advice I can offer and it may not be useful at this point in time but will be as your bub gets older and starts to understand things better is to be honest and open with them (as appropriate for their age).

My mum was a single mother from when I was about 8 months old and always kept me informed (age-wise as mentioned) of what was going on. I was never deluded about who my father was and never thought any of her bf's were my dad or should have been acting like it. She did make sure that the relationships were well established and they knew the full situation before I met them but she would tell me about them before I met them as I am sure they were told about me.

Reading that over, it sounds like there were heaps but there was only 3 and the 3rd one she married (10th anniversary this year). The 1st one was around for 10 years and I call him Dad and he calls me his daughter and that suits us just fine (I never met my biological father and to this day he is, as far as we are concerned, my dad). The 2nd one was on the scene for about 5 years. I am sure there were some flings in between but these are the guys I met and it would seem they were around for long enough to have some sort of impact on me.

I know a girl who is in bed with a different fellow every couple of months and her son (3) has behavioural/disciplinary problems that his carer and counsellor have said the amount of male figures passing through his life has a lot to do with. I won't go into detail but I think you need to be aware of how the situation affects your bubs - even while they are so young.


Be prepared to answer questions - at any age - honestly.

Make sure you are 100% sure of the nature of the relationship before you impose them on your kids.

This is the time you need to be at your most mature about life and its happenings to make sure bubs emotional wellbeing comes first.

Good Luck :D