What to do???

[lostmum]

hey guys i need advice once again :S . My other half said he wanted to go out last nite with the "guys". i didnt mind and let him go, was a bit worried when he didnt come home until 8 this morning but didnt think to much of it. I noticed he was acting strange and yes i did the unthinkable i went snooping in his phone. Well there was a message on there from some girl saying " i had fun last nite , if u want to meet again i can explain to u why i didnt want to have sex" wht the hell do i do??? being 9 months pregnant i cant punch the **** out of him. im lost , do i confront him or just let it go???

[Sarah-Lee]

Honey, thats awful. :mad: You can't just let it go you have to say something - 1. it will eat away at you & 2. You can't let him get away with thinking he has got away with it. I'm not 9 months pregnant at the mo - I'll come punch him for you if you like! Tell him to get his bum in gear - he is about to become a dad - he needs to grow up.
Look after you xxx ;)

[RuthK]

Or you could play with the situation. Get his phone and text this girl to meet him and name a place that's not crowded. Ask her to wear a coloured top that will mean you'll recognise her. Then turn up yourself. Tell her it was just as well she didn't have sex with him and point to your belly and say, "This is what happens when you do!" If she has any conscience (and it's highly likely she doesn't realise he's attached) she'll stay clear, if not because of you, then because of the hassle of a baby intervening into her 'relationship' with him,

Then calmly go home and tell him what you've done and that you do not expect it to happen again (try not to yell, it will just upset the baby and will not have as much impact than as if you are calm).

Men are gutless when they are caught out cheating, they very rarely continue.

You won't relax until you've done something and you cannot go into labour and motherhood with this hanging over your head.

[razzle]

I like Ruth's idea! But my DP came up with another twist - text the girl and then take your man for a walk to meet her. Watch him squirm!! :mad:

Look after yourself and don't take any crap.

[Nickster]

You must feel sick to the stomach! I like some of the other suggestions here, very clever!
I think that you must have it out with him, honesty is the best policy,- there may be a very good reason for what happened - perhaps one of his friends was playing a prank, knowing you'd find it?
You can always gently remind him that child support is legally enforcible and for one child amounts to about 27% of his gross income for the next 18 years!

[Michele Crocker]

Hi,

What a total Jerk! What sort of bloke would do something like this when there partner is 9 months pregnant. He hasn't got a conscience. I like what everyone has come up with. Do as they suggest and see what sort of reaction you get.

Michele
Mother of Christopher, Luke, Melissa, Jayden and ?(due in November)

[shaelerda]

what an idiot!
although i totally agree with getting revenge- i dont agree that hes not likely to do it again- remember if you do take him back, make it VERY clear that you wont put up with this kind of behaviour, and make him pay for it!, dont just forgive him and forget about it, if you forgive him to easily he wont learn

you cant change what youre prepared to tolerate

and remember not to be scared about leaving if you have to do that, there is always SOMETHING you can do, even if you dont feel like there is right now
good luck :)

[Lucybelle]

I'm very happy to punch the **** out of him for you!
My friend found a phone number in her BF's pocket after a big night out without her, so we called the number. I explained that I had found her number and X had a longtime girlfriend that was now very upset. I wasn't rude or nasty to the girl though, and she was horrified and apologetic (as I would be too), and right on my friends side as well!
Guys can be such ***** - I bet the first thing he will do is whine how he feels left out/doesn't get sex anymore/doesn't get enough attention/blah blah.

Try not to get too worked up right now poor baby. Don't forget I am happy to deck him for you!


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[bleemum]

:mad: You poor thing, I agree totally with the suggestion of taking him with you to meet her, at least that way he is confrounted with you both and can't lie to either one of you. Get the truth out of the **** !!!!

As hard as it is try and stay calm for you and bub good luck

[nickosmoo]

Hi

I've snooped on my partners phone in years gone by and found similar messages and it just makes you feel sick doesn't it.? When I confronted him he went balistic cause I'd read his phone messages - guilty conscience most likely.

I think you should contact her yourself without his knowledge and get more information from her if you can before you confront him - that way you're armed with ammo if he tries to lie his way out of it. She most likely has no idea about your existence and might be willing to spill the beans on what happened more than he is likely to.

Good luck and stand firm

[lostmum]

Thanx all for the , I did the simple thing i just rang her and we met up for coffee last nite. She did actually tell me what had happend and she was so apologetic for it. Yep she didnt know i existed and obviously about bubs. After we had talked it out I went home and now all his things are in the garage and ready for himto take to his new house (when he finds one).He did put on the sob story that he was feeling neglected and how my body just didnt attract him anymore which made me all the more mad since i have only put on 11 kilos during pregnancy :S. Anyway thanx for all the good advice and giving me some ppl to ***** too. I didnt punch the **** out of him, but my dad is also offering to do it haha. thanx guys

[Graeme]

Hi

Good on you for being brave enough to ring her and talk her, and putting your foot down with your partner. (Also must admit I'm glad you didn't punch him out - although the temptation must have been very strong. Domestic violence isn't good for anyone.)

I hope you have heaps of support around you with all you we be facing in the coming months.

It certainly sounds like you are a mum who knows where she is rather than a lostmum :)

Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Graeme

[Lucybelle]

WOW! Good on you, that was handled BEAUTIFULLY.

I agree with Graeme - so you will have to change your username now!

Well done again, I'm sorry you had to face this, but you can certainly hold your head up high. You got style girl.

[Lachlan's Mum]

Congratulations lostmum for being so brave...especially at the moment being so pregnant!

I wanted to share a storey with you for some inspiration!

I once met a lady who found out her DH was cheating on her.

One day he had taken her car out (they had a car each) and had gone to the "mistress". This lady had found out the other girls address.

So she packed all of his belongings into his car...and took it over to the girlfriends place and replaced her car with his! So when he came out his car was there with all his stuff in it!! No need to say don't come back!!

I thought it was great!

[Nickster]

Good on you, non-"lostmum"!
You handled that with class and bravery and by not accepting 2nd best have shown that you have the sort of respect for yourself that can only benefit the life of your new child. I'm sure the hurt is still fresh and raw, but I believe you're better off alone than with the wrong person. How sad he didn't find your pregnant body attractive anymore - after all, your body is carrrying and growing his child - a miracle in itself.
I wish you all the best for the future.

[Narelle]

Hi lostmum!
I agree, you'll have to change your username now, how about kickass mum!
I am so impressed with your bravery, I don't know what I would have done in your situation. Anyway good to see you have family to support you, all the best with your upcoming arrival (we must be due around the same time) just make sure you get the child support you deserve!

[jiminy]

Good job, I think that you are very brave and a great person to be able to do such a level headed thing in this situation!!!! nice job!

I'm so glad you have sent him packing. You dont need to be treated like that, no-one does, and especially when you are prego.

You take care of you & bubs and everything will turn out just fine!!!!

he'll regret it ever happened and realise just what he has lost, but suffa i say, :mad: once a cheater alwyas a cheater, and you are too good for that!!!!!!!

Good luck with it all,

and your Dad sounds just wonderful!!!!!!!!! :)

jiminy

[RuthK]

Congratulations

Now have that beautiful baby and enjoy the fact that you are a mother he/she can look up to.

R

[vickster]

Hi there sweetie,

How awful for you to find this out at all, let alone when you're just about ready to have this ****'s baby. :mad: But how brave of you for standing up to him.

Try to be strong...you'll have a beautiful baby soon who will need you to be there for them. I know it sounds easier to do than it really is, but we are all here for you.

Let us know when bub decides to arrive and good luck. :o

xxx

[newbie]

oh sweetheart, this man obviously has no idea!!! I'm so sorry he's put you you thru this at such a time.
i love boomtish's reply... rather than confronting him directly, do it in a sneeky manner. hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman scorned. let us know what happens

[newbie]

well done!!!
seems he's lost out altogether.

chin up. your new little will brighten each new day.
:D