about to take the plunge.....??!!!

[bec05]

Hello -

After a few months of non-stop 'sleep problems' I think we've just about reached the point I thought we'd NEVER reach - about to try CC:confused: . Our DD is now 5.5 months old and I know it's a bit young, but I'm not sure we can last any longer. (This from someone who used to be absolutely horrified that anyone could even contemplate it!! Watch out Cosmic!!)

I know our nights are not as bad as some people's but we just can't handle it - I must have a low tolerance for sleep deprivation because I'm a walking zombie, always tired, cranky, confused, with no energy during the day and often in tears or angry at night. If it was only me I would probably keep just struggling on but I think she's suffering the effects of sleep deprivation too. I see what she’s like after the occasional good sleep and she’s a different baby – so much happier. We love her to bits and just want what’s best for her – if that’s a good night’s sleep and happy loving parents then maybe it’s worth the short term pain.:confused:

Our biggest problems are (1) going to bed (not only at night - also during the day) - she ALWAYS screams, as soon as we wrap her (I've tried not wrapping but makes no difference & she pulls the dummy straight out), it's like she's about to be put in gaol; (2) amount of sleep - her day naps are only ever about 25mins (she can't be resettled), and all up she only sleeps about 10 hrs in 24; and (3) wakeful nights - she often wakes up several times a night (though it varies) and usually one of these eg. 1am or 3am she'll be wide awake for about 2 hours – often just playing & talking but eventually crying. At the moment my only real strategy is feeding her to sleep - that usually works well (but not when she’s awake 2 hours, we just have to wait it out), but after a wakeful night her nappy will weigh a tonne and I’ll be feeling totally drained!

Anyway, I read some of the other threads and was heartened to hear other people saying it worked for them, because I’m pretty scared about trying it – whether it’ll be really traumatic, and whether it’ll even work. I wouldn’t be here though if we hadn’t tried every other remedy under the sun!!! We have a good bedtime routine (walk outside, play, bath, feed, bed), I’ve tried calming drops, and we’ve tried every settling approach from feeding to sleep to rocking to sleep to putting her down awake and patting, but nothing seems to make much difference either to the bedtime trauma or to the waking.

We might even start tonight – if we can muster the courage & commitment :( (my partner is more committed than me – his mum used CC on him and he reckons the idea it harms you is ‘bollocks’). I have 2 questions though:

* Should we eliminate the dummy at the same time? Some books say to – I’m not sure if that just makes it more traumatic for her or whether leaving the dummy is going to be an added distraction (when she won’t go to sleep we’ll often find her out of the wrap up the other end of the cot trying to reach the dummy that’s fallen down beside the mattress, or else lying there pulling it in & out of her mouth)

* Has anyone managed to do it while keeping a feed in the middle of the night or does that defeat the purpose somehow? She’s breastfed (just recently started solids) and I think she might still need one overnight (although definitely not 5!!!!). If the 2 things don’t mix then maybe we will just have to hang on longer until she is more reliant on solids.

Thanks everyone – sorry for the very long post!

[Crazy Monkey]

Hi Bec,

Cant really offer any advice as I haven't tried CC..

My DS fights his sleep.. He went through a good patch where he would easily go off to sleep by himself (with only being resettled a couple of times).. He has recently started teething and his sleep patterns have gone all over the place and I have to rock him to sleep... I still put him in his cot as I did when he was self settling but then when he gets really upset, I go in and help him off to sleep... This is working for me at the moment...

Just wanted to wish you luck and look forward to hear how you are going...

Cheers

[Peaceangels]

Bec05, you sound like you have come to the end of your tether and if giving c.c a go will help, then go for it (what have you got to lose).
I know there are alot of people against it, but I can honestly say from experience that it has done my children no harm whatsoever.
They are happy and healthy and very well adjusted.
By no means did I ever "leave them to cry themselve's to sleep". If you use the technique recommended by child health experts, then you are continually going back to their side to comfort and reassure them that you are not "leaving" them.
If you find it hard to hear her cry, then go for a walk while your DP takes over.
If you do go ahead, you will be amazed at how greatly things will improve and how your baby settling herself to sleep will benefit the whole household.
I answer to your questions, I wouldn't eliminate the dummy at the same time, but if her losing it is a problem maybe look at a dummy clip to attach to her clothes, so it is never too far away if she needs it.
Keep the feeding routine going (middle of night feed) until you feel the sleeping/settling has changed, then you may find that she drops that feed herself.
Goodluck!

[draught]

Bec
I had the same problem with my daughter - no matter what else we tried (patting, rocking, cosleeping, breastfeeding.....etc) , nothing worked and I was falling apart rapidly. So we did cc and it eventually worked for us. I say eventually because she got sick, was teething, etc and everything fell apart and I ended up being back to feeding her 5 - 6 times a night again. But once I stuck to my plan it worked - and still does now. She is happy and I am happy.

So - to answer your two questions - I would eliminate the dummy at the same time - it is just something else to make her wake when it comes out and she can't find it.

Secondly - yes babies still need a feed at that age during the night - one approach you could try is to give her a "dream feed" at about 11 - while she is sleeping, pop her on the boob and feed her then put her back down. If she wakes up then she is being fed back to sleep anyway. The other option is to leave it until she wakes, then feed her but apply the same cc techniques for her going back to sleep so she isn't associating the feed with the sleep. Either way, until she is old enough to not be fed in the night it might slow things dwon in the CC department, but at least you will be getting her to sleep on her own in the evenings and for day time sleeps if you are lucky.

One of my tips was to start the technique during the day for day time sleeps - the crying doesn't seem as loud or as painful in daylight for some reason! And Peaceangels is right - you aren't leaving her to cry unattended - you are in and out letting her know that you are there.

Good luck and let us know how you go.

[watermelon]

Bec,
We are going through exactly the same thing and have also decided to start cc (as much as I have so far resisted, I can no longer function on 2 hours sleep a night)
We also have to get rid of the dummy too.
We going to start in 2 weeks cause we've got a couple of things happening at the moment that are going to cause interruptions to the process.
Keep us all posted on how it goes cause I'm going to need all the help I can get when we start.

Hope it all works out for you


Samantha (34)
Mum to Sophie (20/7/05)

[rynosmum]

We used an adapted version of CC on our son at 10 weeks as he had continual problems trying to sleep.

The difference was within days and was dramatic. He would then go to sleep with no issues 4 out of every 5 times and would sleep through to only 2 feeds per night. He then changed to a little boy who loved his day sleeps (still does - 2 x 2.5 hours) and would self-settle at night. In turn, he has grown to be a boy who loves his sleep and is able to self-settle almost anywhere.

It IS hard - I wouldn't have been able to do it without DH's support and guidance but you have to remember that it will teach baby a skill that will help them later. We went in every few minutes and patted his bottom as he calmed down.

I see no long term effects. He loves his bed but can sleep in a pram or car or pretty much anywhere. He wakes up happy because he is in bed exactly where he expected to be. It worked well for us.:D

[bec05]

I’m trying so hard to stay calm and think ‘this might just be a fluke’ but I am so excited I can hardly keep myself from leaping around the room in joy!!!! Only 2 days since I wrote and things have changed so much I can hardly believe it!!!!!!!!!

On Sunday we finally decided, after reading your messages and suggestions as well as other threads, to try CC – although our own modified version as we are a bit soft! We decided to only do it at bedtime / naptime and for her wide-awake-at-3am times, but if she woke up at other times in the night I’d just feed her back to sleep as usual. We also decided to keep the dummy (she is so addicted to it, it seemed mean to take it away) and to use our own intervals – just a few minutes since I couldn’t handle the idea of waiting 10, 15 mins etc. Our biggest ‘rule’ was that we wouldn’t pick her up to rock her, and we wouldn’t keep getting her up to re-wrap her or put her back in the ‘right’ position down the end of the cot – we’d just comfort her wherever she was in the cot.

So Sunday night she went straight to sleep at 7 after her feed (as usual) then woke and cried 20 mins later (as usual!!). So instead of feeding her back to sleep I started ‘our’ CC, waiting 2 mins then 4 mins (then I stuck to 4 mins because that was hard enough)!! It was pretty hard, because (after the first 10 mins or so of furious crying) she would calm down when I went in, but then just toss & turn while I sat there with her, and then her eyes would follow me out the door when I left and she’d start screaming again! I was wondering if I should just wait there with her but then suddenly all went quiet. She’d fallen asleep in the strangest position, half on her tummy with her legs dangling through the side of the cot!! (so we had to move her once we were sure she was asleep). It had taken 25 minutes – actually much quicker than we were expecting given how much she screams on a ‘normal’ night when we are doing non-stop comforting! She then woke up at 8.30pm, 11.00pm, 1.30am and 3.30am and I fed her as planned though I was thinking maybe that part of the plan was a mistake! BUT she didn’t have a 2 hour awake time! I was sure it was going to happen because she was wide awake after the 3.30 feed and I settled on the lounge ready to start CC but there wasn’t a sound and when I checked 15 mins later she was sound asleep! (Unfortunately my body is now programmed to be awake from 3.30am so I didn’t get back to sleep!:( )

Yesterday (Monday) I went to my Mum’s as planned ages ago (though I was worried it would disrupt things) and first, she FELL ASLEEP IN THE CAR WITHOUT ANY CRYING (a first EVER!!!!) and then she fell asleep at Mum’s even though it was not home with only a few mins of crying each time.

Last night, she went to sleep at 7.15pm and 25 mins later I was still waiting for the 20 min wakeup cry but there wasn’t a sound so I peeped in, she was lying there with her eyes wide open looking around, but not crying, and then next time I checked she was asleep – NO CRYING and NO DUMMY!!!!!!! BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER!!! She woke at 9.30pm so I fed her and then….. SHE SLEPT TIL 5.40am THIS MORNING! I got 7 hours straight sleep and I feel so amazing I can’t believe it! The most incredible thing is she didn’t just simply ‘sleep through’, because when we checked on her at 5am she was up the other end of the cot, unwrapped, fast asleep, with the dummy back in her mouth!!!! So she must have woken up, rolled round the cot, found the dummy and put it back in, then fallen back to sleep!!!!

I know this is a long, long post but after so many months of stress and sleep deprivation I am SOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

(mind you I’m still glad we didn’t do it earlier – I don’t think she was ‘ready’ for it before and am sure it would have been much more traumatic)

Thank you so much for the suggestions, all the posts in here helped us a lot in deciding we should try it and just as importantly, HOW we should do it! Fingers crossed that it continues!!