View Full Version : To Old To Be Breastfed
Rainbowbrite
21-01-2006, 16:56
We were out today & ran into an old friend who was disgusted that i'm still bf MJ at 8months??? She went on to tell me taht at MJ's age its not for nutrition, its purely for comfort.
DH pointedly told her that i will be continuing to bf MJ for as long as possible as its best for bub :D
It got me thinking though, is there an age at which bf stops becoming nutritious & is just for comfort?
RB
nemosmum
21-01-2006, 17:05
I think bubs naturally want to be bf when they are distressed or upset, it is very comforting.
I have heard that you should bf till they are 2 years old for maximum nutrition, having said this I know of someone who continued bfing until their child was 8 (Nutrition or comfort? who knows)
I guess you just need to do what makes you feel comfortable and there is nothing wrong with bfing to comfort your child :)
the_queen
21-01-2006, 17:46
I look at it like this: God/Mother Nature puts milk in my breasts for my baby. My baby will drink the milk from my breasts for as long as it's mutually desirable. I don't believe breastmilk loses its nutritional value; plus, the benefits of breastfeeding extend far beyond nutrition alone.
IMO, society has sexualised women's breasts to a point where some people find it "disgusting" when they are used for their intended purpose. I think that's sad.
the_queen
21-01-2006, 17:49
Just wanted to add this link:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T026400.asp
My favourite bit says: " Extended breastfeeding is nature's way of filling your baby's need for intimacy and appropriate dependency on other people. If these needs are met early on, your child will grow up to be a sensitive and independent adult."
:)
aardvark
21-01-2006, 18:07
The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding at least until the second birthday.
Your "friend" is talking through her........ um.....hat.
I fed both my DDs until after their third birthday. The lactation consultant at the hospital where I had #2 was of the opinion that left to their own devices, they self-wean when they no longer need it for whatever reason, and I found this was pretty accurate.
H&B'sMum
21-01-2006, 19:36
Sounds like your friend doesn't have a clue RB. Sorry if she is a close friend but has she got children???? And understand that babies need their milk. Whenever I was told that I should give up b/f my reply was "I can't it's illegal to stave babies" That usually shut them up.
You keep b/f for as long as MJ wants to.
Goosie22
21-01-2006, 19:43
I'm with everyone here, She hasn't got a clue what she is talking about. You just keep feeding and show her.:)
I agree - tell her that the WHO probably know what they are talking about - LOL!
I weaned DD1 at 13 months but it was pretty mutual - and I was pregnant with DD2 and just needed a bit of my body back for me. DD2 is a very different baby and is still having night and morning feeds at 15 months and it doesn't look like stopping anytime soon - as long as she wants it she will have it - and when she is sick or has an "off" day eating I am comforted by the fact that she is at least getting good nutrition twice a day!;) :rolleyes:
poshBecks
21-01-2006, 20:02
I have to admit that I do get a little grossed out when I see children breastfeeding... but thats just me... if you want to that's great for you... I just could't do it. In saying that though.... 8 months is so not too old!!!! Hello, baby's cant have cows milk until at least 12 months!!!!!! :eek: I think your friend was pretty rude for saying that! Like it's her business anyway!!! :o
Rainbowbrite
21-01-2006, 20:03
When i was pregnant DH & I didnt want to feed past 6months, but coming here & learning all the benefits of extended bf, I have no intention of stopping till MJ is ready. We are planning on atleast 2more years so there is no worries there.
It just saddens me that the masses are so against bf after 6months. It was my family who originally told me to feed till MJ was between 6-9months, then stop. They get a rude shock everytime they say it infront of DH.
This isnt the first friend who has said something either :eek: I get it on almost a daily basis. I'm the only mother in my baby group who is still feeding exclusively. 1 other is bf but gives a formula feed at night.
The arguement that makes DH laugh is that its mean of me to keep bf MJ as he doesnt get to feed her :rolleyes: When they said this infront of him, he laughed at them & told them that
he can do everything else for MJ, why would he want to intrude on the bonding session between mum & bub, its better for her to be bf, its all she really needs at this time in her life. Who wants to have to clean & make up bottles when its on tap Oh and my favourite which shows that he also supports co-sleeping
Atleast with me bf, he doesnt have to get up multiple times throughout the night feed MJ
While i'm having a rant, i'm sick of hearing that i should "train" MJ to sleep through the night, its not good for her to be waking for night feeds still :mad: SHE'S A BABY! I get thirsty through the night & have a drink of water, whats the difference?
Thanks for letting me rant, i'll go now :p
RB
Rainbowbrite
21-01-2006, 20:06
Oh & to answer the question, yes she does have children, 2 of them. Though they are not kids anymore, they are in their early 20's.
The general public really need to be educated on the benefits of bf for more than 6months :)
RB
While i'm having a rant, i'm sick of hearing that i should "train" MJ to sleep through the night, its not good for her to be waking for night feeds still :mad: SHE'S A BABY! I get thirsty through the night & have a drink of water, whats the difference?
Oh yes didn't you know, you need to train them just like you would a dog.:rolleyes:
Where do people get this stuff?:confused:
Good on you, I'm glad you are happy and doing what works best for your family!
Oh & to answer the question, yes she does have children, 2 of them. Though they are not kids anymore, they are in their early 20's.
The general public really need to be educated on the benefits of bf for more than 6months :)
RB
I had a friends mother ( a trained nurse with three grown children and four grandchildren of her own) telling me how horrified she was the other day that a mutual friend intended to feed FOR 6 months - said she was making a rod for her own back!:eek: I calmly gave her the WHO speech with all the nice add ons and pointed out that bf is actually much easier than bottles or solids - nothing else to pack except your baby and your boobs! She didn't have much to say in answer to it!
Rainbowbrite
21-01-2006, 20:17
I calmly gave her the WHO speech with all the nice add ons and pointed out that bf is actually much easier than bottles or solids - nothing else to pack except your baby and your boobs! She didn't have much to say in answer to it!
It is such a rude shock when bub starts solids & you have to start taking food for them. I miss just having to take a nappy. Now its nappy, wipes, bib, food, spoon, water (which she plays with & spits, never drinks :p)
RB
poshBecks
21-01-2006, 20:18
I agree that the public should be more educated. I also think that people can be just so rude!! How dare they tell you how to raise your own children!! I know that breast is best!!!! But for me personally I dont think I'll go much over 6 months. Thats ok, & it's totally okay for other mums to bf!! It just astounds me that people are so rude to you!!! Why exactly do they feel it is their business???!!!:eek:
It is such a rude shock when bub starts solids & you have to start taking food for them. I miss just having to take a nappy. Now its nappy, wipes, bib, food, spoon, water (which she plays with & spits, never drinks :p)
RB
Hmmm... the spitting thing doesn't get grown out of too quickly either - DD2(15 months) happily dribbled and bubbled and spat a lot of water down herself and me at a party this afternoon - she thinks it is hilarious and doesn't seem to care that her mother always looked like a drowned rat!
H&B'sMum
21-01-2006, 20:20
It does make me really cranky when I hear that mums should stop b/f at a certain time. Breasts were made for milk and giving that milk to our babies, that's why we have them.
Breast milk is such a wonderous thing and everyone should be educated in this.
There are so many more things I wish I could say but don't won't to upset anyone so I shall stop here.
Rainbowbrite
21-01-2006, 20:28
I know that breast is best!!!! But for me personally I dont think I'll go much over 6 months
I thought that too, but once i hit about 3 months, i changed my mind. Its the convenience & closeness thats kept me going, as well as the WHO :D
Breast milk is such a wonderous thing and everyone should be educated in this.
So true. The amount of scrathes, stuffy noses & yucky eyes that have been cleared up by my milk are amazing. On boxing day my nephew cut his hand on an oyster shell & my BIL mother told him to come to me & get some bm to put on it :p But my nephew refused, told me it was gross :rolleyes:
There are so many more things I wish I could say but don't won't to upset anyone so I shall stop here.
No please, if it gives us comebacks, please share ;)
RB
H&B'sMum
21-01-2006, 20:34
here are some comebacks that I have used:
"It's illegal to starve my child"
"What else am I going to feed him?"
"Why would I stop when every 4 hours (or when they demand it) I get to sit down, have a rest and watch my baby"
"I love the bonding time, why would I not want to do that"
"I love the knowing that I can provide my child with nurshiment (sp??) from my body"
and the one I use the lease but with great effect
"At least he will always love me for my milk"
Rainbowbrite
21-01-2006, 20:36
Very cool, thanks for those :) My DH read them & loved them too :)
RB
H&B'sMum
21-01-2006, 20:38
Your welcome RB :D
Goosie22
21-01-2006, 21:46
I thought I would share this site with you all as it sells really nice PRO-BREASTFEEDING T-SHIRTS. I bought the "I like mummy milk not milk from just any old cow" and "I'm a milk goddess!" I find they give rise to a different type of comment.
http://www.lactivist.co.uk/transfers.shtml
Oh & to answer the question, yes she does have children, 2 of them. Though they are not kids anymore, they are in their early 20's.
The general public really need to be educated on the benefits of bf for more than 6months :)
RB
RB that made me laugh, I was reading through your first post and thought, she (your friend) has got to be - like 60 years old :rolleyes: . And I wasn't far off it. She's from the days when babies were given solids at eight weeks, almost prehistoric (apologies to any oldies out there, but this is what happens if you tell someone not to BF their 8 month old baby, just don't do it and we'll all be nice :D )
Cheers
Rainbowbrite
22-01-2006, 16:56
She's only in her early 40's XKWZIT :eek: I told me MIL what she said & even she (who IS in her late 60's) said that is outdated. She supports me bf for as long as possible :)
RB
Foxymoron
23-01-2006, 11:43
:rolleyes: I'm sorry you've been subjected to such ignorant and uninformed tripe!
You're doing the best thing for your weeun.
It baffles me really, if you were formula feeding her the woman would have something to say about her not getting enough solids, and like you said, there's always the sleep issue.... :rolleyes: ugh... It'll always be something, you can rely on that! Most outsiders seem to be at their happiest when rating you as a parent and handing down pearls of wisdom.
funfarrell
23-01-2006, 11:58
Great points made by keara. However, i admitt i hate seeing children older than 1 BF. I know all the health benefits etc.. but sometimes i have wondered whether the mum just can't let go. However, do what you want and be answerable only to you.
alicesmum
23-01-2006, 12:33
you go RB!!!
i think it's the most beautiful thing in the world and I melt everytime i see a mummy b'feeding in public!!!! i plan to go as long as possible this time around.
ignore them all. they are just caught up in their own $h!t!!!!! good on you (and your DH) for sticking by your instincts.
:p :D :p
YoungFox
25-01-2006, 21:39
I am still breastfeeding my 12 mo daughter and we don't look like stopping any time soon there are so many benefits and it is just the best when they are all relaxed and cuddled in having a feed. I mean we will stop eventually It's not like I will going to school with her. I feel a bit rare at my 1st mothers group as most of them bottle feed so then I also joined a breastfeeding mothers group and found that there are heaps of other breastfeeding mothers out there. I saw a little 18mo wearing a t-shirt recently which read "I drink my mummy's milk, not milk from just any old cow!" I thought it was georgeous.
Sorrry for going on so much I have just started this internet chatting and I think I may be getting addicted.
Ffrenchknickers
26-01-2006, 07:19
:D
"I drink my mummy's milk, not milk from just any old cow!
HAHAHA, I love it and I want one!!!
I have to tell you, my DD weaned herself so she could have her ears pierced at 2 yrs, 9 months. Now I feel very ripped off. Ditched for beauty...
Anyway I look at those poor empty vessels that once did the job that they were intended and feel quite glum. I sometimes try to squeeze milk out of there, but a little dribble comes out...
All those people who give that crap advice just have no idea and obviously don't have a healthy body image or even know what boobs are for!
Had my say now... bye!
Great points made by keara. However, i admitt i hate seeing children older than 1 BF..
you hate it ? hate is a pretty strong word, i look at my 14mth old and she is so tiny, still a baby, the thought that someone might 'hate' seeing her have a feed (not that she is on the booby anymore :( )is quite upsetting, it is such a lovely thing, so innocent and natural, that for me personally such ugly emotions being related to it seems wrong somehow :(
(sorry funfarrell, not having a go, just saying that i think its a bit sad is all :) )
and RB, just ignore stuff like that, my grandma used to make similiar comments when coops was about 9 mths and id just smile and say 'he's alright' :)
Ffrenchknickers
26-01-2006, 08:59
LOL, i think Millar will still be BF at his 21st the way he is going:rolleyes: :D It's funny, I have never had one single comment about it from anyone (he's 19 months.)
LOL, i think Millar will still be BF at his 21st the way he is going:rolleyes: :D It's funny, I have never had one single comment about it from anyone (he's 19 months.)
ohhh, you'll have to tell that at his 21st,(that you thought he'd still be feeding then) he will be soooo embarressed, hehe:D
Ffrenchknickers
26-01-2006, 09:06
Lol..............:d
Lallas' Mum
26-01-2006, 09:12
I fed my first bub until about 8 weeks pregnant with the second (about 10 1/2 mths) at which stage DS1 was self weaning anyway.
I am sure that the average age of weaning WORLDWIDE is 5 years of age. Yes that sounds shocking. It is hard to fatham sending a child to preschool and giving them a top up before they go. But if you take into account thirdworld countries - it is usually the only real nutrictian that they get in those first few years of life.
I can't direct you to a website as such but I have heard about research into BF and the benefits to children past the age of 6 months and there are certainly many pluses. The benefits are huge in the first year of life, still there but on a lesser scale in the second year of life but after that the benefits are minimal.
I say - do what is best for you and bub. Screw those judgemental misinformed people who want to dis you and don't ever doubt yourself.
There is truth behind the saying a mother knows best!!
Your "friend" may walk away thinking "how could she still be BF that kid" but you can walk away thinking "she doesn't know too much does she?":rolleyes:
RynosMummy
26-01-2006, 10:09
I totally agree that its up to the individuals (mum & bub) when they want to stop breastfeeding!! If breastfeeding babies at the age of 8months or older grosses some people out, then this will TOTALLY gross them out - my sister in law breast fed both her boy and girl until the 4th birthday!!!! I think that is being committed to your kids (a little over committed to my liking) BUT its a proven fact that breast milk is best for kids! Also, just in addition to the cow's milk saga - I have read that cow's milk is ok for kids at 6 months (Baby Love by Robin Barker)
I'm still bf my 5 mth old DD and plan to do so til she self weans. Initially I thought I would only go for 6 mths but as this time is coming closer I'm thinking of continuing until she's 1 or she decides to stop. Also the convenience of travelling light with a baby (ie no thermus, bottles, formula) and being lazy are also reasons for me to keep bf. That is in addition to the benefits to mum and bub of bf.
RB - I think that comment (that started this thread) says more about your friend and her 'issues' than it does about you bf your 8 month old DD.
Also, why is it that when you become a mother, everyone seems to have comments and opinions about what 'you should be doing'. Whatever happened to 'mother knows best'
RB, you know what is best for your bub and you keeping bf as long as you and she want to.
Rainbowbrite
26-01-2006, 13:29
Thanks for all the support ladies :) I just love how MJ has started to smile at me while feeding. When she is finished now she pulls of but not away & lays there smiling at me. I'm just so glad that i decided to bf & that i've kept at it.
About not liking babies older than 1 being bf, i think its cute personally. I honestly think i'll be devastated if MJ self weans before she's 2 :(
RB
Foxymoron
26-01-2006, 13:35
I encounter a lot of those kind of "I hate seeing an older babe breastfed" type comments. Why is it okay to say that? I'd be crucified if I said something similar about FF (which of course I never would anyway) to a friend.
I'm constantly informed of how 'disgusting' it is to feed a child who can actually ask for a boobie :confused: I'm all for freedom of opinion and speech, but...
we live in a climate of so called political correctness and tolerance...
it doesn't seem to apply once you dare breastfeed beyond what limits other people have set in their minds. Luckily it's like water off a ducks back :D
Hey RB, going back to your original post:
She went on to tell me taht at MJ's age its not for nutrition, its purely for comfort.
The first thing that sprang to my mind was "So what if she sucks for comfort? (as babies do!) Since when has a baby's emotional needs been less important than her physical needs? :confused:"
I know how you feel. I have a breastfed 8 month old and went out to a cafe yesterday. I don't usually feed in public but he was hungry and there wasn't many people there and my family don't care. Only one table could see what I was doing.
When they saw me feeding, they stopped talking had a good look and then snickered. To make it worse they were a couple in their 50's and their 20 something daughter. I have never felt embarressed feeding before that. But they made me feel bad :(
Ignore your friends coments and feed for as long as you want :D
II'm constantly informed of how 'disgusting' it is to feed a child who can actually ask for a boobie :confused: I'm all for freedom of opinion and speech, but...
coops used to call it 'milkas':D
they are some pretty good come backs ill have to remember them. :D
Foxymoron
26-01-2006, 22:22
coops used to call it 'milkas'
Awww that's cute!
Mine are just Boobies, but they go by location- we have the "lay down boobie", the sit down boobie etc :D
lil monkey
26-01-2006, 22:24
Hey RB,
i think all the other ladies have said what I would've too in regards to you friend.
I stopped bf when DD was 4.5 months and this was due to feeding difficulties as she was refusing the boob but would take the bottle . as she was so tiny and not putting on too much weight, i still tried to feed her morning and night and was expressing 5 times a day. I lasted 6 weeks of doing this as it wore me down and by then, DD didn't want bm and preferred formula.
I wished I could have been able to bf her for longer and for her to self wean herself.:( I am jealous that you are still able to and MJ loves it! :)
Baby Girl
26-01-2006, 23:01
I am one of those women who would sit down anywhere and bf my bub!! I had many comments about how inappropriate I was being by flopping my boob out in public!! It was usually under a wrap/bunny rug and you couldn't even see my collarbone let alone my boob!! The only part of the boob that people seem to take offence to is the areola and this is clearly not visible while bub is feeding so it is really just skin like any other part of the body that is put on display!! Heck for the first week I was home with DD2 i don't think I even wore a bra or shirt unless we had not so regular visitors coming over - if it was close family tough luck.
I didn't feed my bubs for long but whenever anyone made comment I would throw fairly nasty comments around as it didn't take long before it p#@*ed me off!! If it was made by a man - 'If my use of my body for its intention offends you, then maybe you should think about not scratching your balls in public' or something to that affect. If it was a woman - 'This is what they were meant for, are you jealous mine are bigger than yours?' or something similar. Needless to say most people shut up and went on their way or had a bit of a laugh and apologised. I think because you are a mum they expect you to be nice about it and go elsewhere but it only took me about 6 weeks to be fed up with it and I could just no longer smile and look away.
Personally I didn't enjoy bf but I love it when you see any little one suckling from its mother - whether it is in public or private it is a beautiful, natural thing. There is an age where it does become a little strange but IMO that is well after 2 or 3.
Ana Gram
27-01-2006, 09:08
The best thing to do is just ignore it. People will make a comment about every aspect of your parenting, not just breastfeeding. I formula fed after 6 weeks and I gots tons of comments most of them nasty.
kiwibird27
27-01-2006, 10:11
It many cultures it's perfectly normal to breast feed until the child gives it up - even up until there 5 or 6, have met a 3 mums who still bf there 3 yr old - breastmilk is the best thing and still babies main food until there 12 mths isn't it????? Parents choice if u ask me!!!!
I try to ignore them but it is hard but i guess i better get use to it cause i plan on breastfeeding her until she is at least 16mths.
Mummabear
27-01-2006, 11:00
The first thing that sprang to my mind was "So what if she sucks for comfort? (as babies do!) Since when has a baby's emotional needs been less important than her physical needs? :confused:"
That is so true and such a good point to make Cosmic (IMHO).
If it was made by a man - 'If my use of my body for its intention offends you, then maybe you should think about not scratching your balls in public'
I LOVE it!!!!!
I tried to bf for about 7 weeks. Ended up in a week long clinic because Oz was losing so much weight and crying so much. Turned out that I was only producing about 20ml of milk in a 24 hour period (that's WITH all the meds). I cried for about a week when I had to put him on the bottle. When I see a bub being bf I get so jealous. It is the most beautiful thing in the world (along with a pregnant tummy :D ). Obviously I didn't have any choice with how to feed Oz in the end, and we still have a very close relationship. I have chosen to look at the positives of ff instead of dwelling on something that I can not change. With my next bub I fully intend to try bf again, and just like last time I will not give up at the first sign of complications.
I must agree that atm I personally find the thought of an older bub stil bf rather, um, not sure of the right word - unsettling???? perhaps. But I acknowledge that this may be in part due to the evil green eyed monster. I'm sure my thoughts will change when I'm able to bf successfully as I'll be allowing bubs to self wean when ready. I even held off enrolling in Uni until they could guarantee me that I would be welcomed in lectures with a bf baby (I'm not even pregnant again yet).
Good on all of you for knowing and trusting in yourselves and standing your ground. It's no one's business to tell you how to parent your child, this includes how to feed them. I get so upset when my MIL makes horrid comments about the fact that Oz is ff, but no doubt if he was bf someone else would make a jibe about that. You can't please everyone, so just please yourself ;)
I get so upset when my MIL makes horrid comments about the fact that Oz is ff, but no doubt if he was bf someone else would make a jibe about that.
Larissa, your MIL makes comments? :eek: How awful! Surely, she of all people knows what your experience was. There's just no excusing some people. :mad:
Mummabear
27-01-2006, 13:14
Not only does she make nasty comments but the other day she made a comment that made me hover between wanting to burst into tears of frustration and wanting to slap her. My SIL (her daughter) bf's. Bub is 9 months and at the stage where he is more interested in what his older bro is doing rather than feeding properly. She said this to me....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to try and feed a baby that won't latch on and feed...... oh no, you wouldn't
Ummm, yes I would - try 7 weeks of that (as per previous post). Atlest my nephew isn't starving like my bub was - he has other sources of nutrition. SIL isn't too phased by it - she just takes whatever happens within her stride and was a great source of support for me during all my probs. It's just my pesky MIL.
She'll be the person that will make comments when Oz is older like "well, I guess he's doing okay now considering he was ff" :mad: Like I had a choice.
Sorry RB - didn't mean to hijack your thread. Guess we're all going to get negative comments no matter what we end up doing with our bubs.
Rainbowbrite
27-01-2006, 15:15
Sorry RB - didn't mean to hijack your thread. Guess we're all going to get negative comments no matter what we end up doing with our bubs.
No need to apologise :) WE all need to vent, here is as good a place as any.
BTW your MIL is so mean. Cant believe after all your problems, she says that :mad:
RB
Hi Larissa
Are you able to tell her how hurtful her comments are? I understand that you might not want the confrontation, but she really has no right to make you feel this way. At least if you've told her once to shut her pie hole (in nicer words of course ;) ) you've got every right to storm out on her, minimise visitation etc. It's got to be better than absorbing all her toxic behaviour - JMO.
Cheers
I remember going onto a website ages ago, and it listed a heap of famous people who were extended breastfed, including Michael Jordan, Ghandi, and that really famous Native American Indian (can't remember his name) but they had these lovely quotes from them about remembering nursing from their mothers, and I was incredibly moved by the sentiments, and how fond their memories were.
I kind of decided there and then, that i wanted my children to have the oppurtunity to have memories such as these if they chose to breastfeed that long.
Hence my commitment to child led weaning, and tandem nursing.
I may be a crackpot, but i truly think we would live in a more peaceful world if child led weaning were the norm!! :D
I actually used to work with a guy who swore black & blue that his wife was breastfeeding their 2yo regularly
I actually used to work with a guy who swore black & blue that his wife was breastfeeding their 2yo regularly
Breastfeeding a 2 yr old is actually pretty common.... why would he have to swear black and blue, it is not an abnormal, or unusual thing at all!! ;)
that was a typo... sorry, late night touch typing, should have read 3 yo and I also neglected to mention that not long after he mentioned it I attneded her 4th birthday
Gotcha! ;)
A little more unusual, but still well within the realms of normal!
the_queen
28-01-2006, 11:21
I think it's interesting that the world-wide average weaning age is 4.2 yrs, and if that takes into account the millions and millions of "first world" women who wean in the first weeks or months of bubba's life, doesn't that mean that millions of "second and third world" women are breastfeeding their children until waaay after their 5th birthday?
(I use the terms "first world" and "second and third world" because I'm not sure how to explain what I mean.....)
:confused:
(LOL Does anyone understand what I'm trying to say.....:p )
Ffrenchknickers
28-01-2006, 13:10
LOL...gotcha Queenie. I think that is interesting too:D
lukaelmo
28-01-2006, 13:50
I don't think I will ever be able to stop bfing; it gives me cleavage :D
maybe1more
28-01-2006, 16:46
Rb- I think you should be proud of your self for still bfing! I only bf for 12 weeks mainly because of peolpe staring every time Connor needed a feed, ive also been told to "put in away" when Connor was 8 weeks old:mad: I was in a cafe and the lady who worked there ask me if i could go to the "mother room" and do that as i was making her lose busniess!!!! I was so deverstated to hear that, from then on i never bf in public and ended up giving up. Although now thinking back i should of told her to shove it up her *** but i was tired and just could be bother, however i know next time around i wont be so tolerate, and if my baby needs a need ill feed, as long as i feel the need too!
Jenny, that is disgusting.. and isn't it also ILLEGAL? I thought women feeding their babies had rights these days. Stupid woman. :mad:
Isn't it amazing how other people can influence us so strongly when we are at our most vulnerable as new mums? I was lucky - my experience was the exact opposite and it gave me the courage to keep going - the first time I fed DD1 in public the owner of the cafe made a point of coming over whie I was feeding and telling me how lovely it was to see a new baby in her cafe and that she had breastfed her little ones too and missed the closeness now that they were older. It was so lovely and out of the blue that I felt comfortable straight away and never looked back. Maybe a reminder to all of us to say something nice instead of just smiling at new mother's feeding their little ones.
Foxymoron
29-01-2006, 14:02
OMG firstbub that's AWFUL! You poor thing.
It is illegal for her to ask you to leave.
I would have smiled and asked if she wanted to be on the news, and in all likehood visited by a mob of lactating women the following day :D And that's only if I were feeling generous, God help her if I was in a bad mood!
I recall being surrounded by women looking at my new bub when I first fed her in public, I was so embarrased, and they were so comfortable with it! It's funny how things change, I'm not phased at all by feeding in public and probably don't notice if I offend. It's great when someone comes up and says how sweet it is to see a contented babe at the breast.
This is such a universal topic and yet, is there really a right or wrong answer! I think it very much depends on the individual and their bub. My MIL never BF any of her kids and is quite disgusted in me bfing, she actually makes me sit in another room to do it.:mad: Anyways my mother is so pro bfing, so what to do to make everyone happy???? I do what I feel comfortable with, having said that, I only bf DS for 5 months because the biting factor was too painful and DD is only 8 months. I am considering weaning DD very shortly, but for the meantime, I'm actually enjoying having the close contact and bonding with DD. It personally is a very different feeling to bfing DS as he was constantly hungry and always wanting it, I felt like a cow with him. DD seems to enjoy the closeness too and often through the night I feed and we co-sleep for a little while before I put her back in her cot. :)
My MIL always asks when I am going to wean DD off bfing, but its my decision and I will continue to do it, or stop when I feel it is right for the both of us, not because she can't handle it.
My doctor actually recommended bfing until DD was 5, but there is no way that I could that, yet others might feel the need to. My opinion is definitely personal choice and anyway....who cares what other people think!:p
thirdtimeround
29-01-2006, 15:30
I cant believe in this day and age that people are so anti bf. I had trouble feeding my first child and only fed for 4 months. My second I fed until he was 18 months and like Theresa only weaned because I was pregnant with my third. I have a 9mnth old ds who still wakes during the night for a feed. And he doesnt just get on there for comfort because he drains both breasts.
Breastfeeding is such a personal thing. I am not into having 3 year olds coming up and asking for a boobie please but if thats what suits that family then well and good.
Nobody has the right to dictate to anyone else what they should or shouldnt do with their babies and children. If you are happy still feeding during the night then do it . I dont think it is normal for a bf not to wake up during the night at some stage for a drink its not as if they are going to bed draining a 240ml bottle of formulae. Keep up the positive attitude.:)
Me 33
dp 33
dd 11
ds 3
ds 9mnths
the_queen
29-01-2006, 15:37
My MIL never BF any of her kids and is quite disgusted in me bfing, she actually makes me sit in another room to do it.
Isn't that attitude HORRIBLE!!??!!!!
Can you imagine the OUTRAGE if I was to say to a FF mum:
"I'm disgusted that you are feeding formula to your baby, can you please do it in another room so I don't have to look at it" ???
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
(ps the outrage would be totally justified - that's the point i'm trying to make)
My MIL always asks when I am going to wean DD off bfing
My doctor actually recommended bfing until DD was 5, but there is no way that I could that, yet others might feel the need to. My opinion is definitely personal choice and anyway....who cares what other people think!:p
I think next time your MIL asks when your going to stop tell her what your doc said and that you'll continue til she's 5 that might shut her up for a few years!
Rainbowbrite
29-01-2006, 17:35
My MIL never BF any of her kids and is quite disgusted in me bfing, she actually makes me sit in another room to do it
Thats horrible :eek: :mad: I hope she doesnt do that in your home. If mine did that to me, she'd never see me (luckily mine is very pro bf).
Firstbub, i'm in shock with that. I fed MJ in a Gloria Jeans one day & had an experience like Draught in that the manager came up, SAT with me, and told me how much she missed bf her DD :)
Are there any get togethers any more where groups of people bf, or was that just for a world record attempt? Maybe we should organise one ;)
RB
Mummabear
29-01-2006, 17:42
Are there any get togethers any more where groups of people bf, or was that just for a world record attempt? Maybe we should organise one ;)
My SIL is part of a BF group in her small country town. Not sure if this is part of ABA or just a group of the that got together on their own. I think ABA has Mum groups that you can join. I love my Mummy's group (through CYH), but with the next bub I'll be looking to join a bf group too for extra support.
I can't believe some of the comments people have recieved!
I love breastfeeding, I really enjoy it and feel like it's my special time with my DD, I havn't decided when I will stop I'm sort of hoping she will ween herself, anyway just because I love it I would never push my views on others, it's every individuals decision and people should butt out!
The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding at least until the second birthday.
Your "friend" is talking through her........ um.....hat.
I fed both my DDs until after their third birthday. The lactation consultant at the hospital where I had #2 was of the opinion that left to their own devices, they self-wean when they no longer need it for whatever reason, and I found this was pretty accurate.
I love the hat comment. Your friend obviously has no idea! I like everyones idea on telling her about WHO guidelines to b/f for at least 2 years.
It is interesting I was having a similar conversation with aba buds whos bubs are 10 and 11 months old. They were saying how often people comment on them "still" breastfeeding. My bub is only 3.5 months so I haven't experienced this yet and #1 went on bottles @ 6 weeks mainly due to the pressure of others.
Don't cave - I say you go girl!!!!! :D
Yeah I'm with you B&Tsmum, You do it as long as you want too or bub wants too.
caitsmum
04-02-2006, 09:29
RB you and your daughter are so very lucky to be breasfeeding sucessfully. It is a beautiful way to feed a baby. My middle daughter came home on nasogastric feeds - if someone wants to see a disgusting way to feed a baby then they should of come and had a look at a tube change. It was one of the worst and hardest things I have ever had to do to any of my children.
Keep going!! and enjoy it (I have a bit o BF envy here LOL)
jarrahsmumma
04-02-2006, 09:42
The human species ia built not to be weaneed until about 7 :eek: That may be a little long for most... You go EBfeeders! It is the best thing for them!
I think children were bf alot longer back when we all lived in tribes and things because food was often scarce, nutrients could be lacking etc, I dont think any 7 yr olds today, particulary in the western world,need to be bf!!!:eek:
jarrahsmumma
04-02-2006, 10:29
That is not what I was saying. I was stating that from a scientific point of view, we are built to be bf for that long. I would not bf a 7 yo...
i not long stopped bf he was 12mths and 2 weeks old!
my longest!
do what is best for you and baby! it will work better
I say good on you girls, atm my dd has three teeth & i can feel them rubbing but i'm gonna stick with it & she how we go.
Kirstlea
05-02-2006, 23:55
If you look at the tribes around the world, eg Papua New Guinea, Africa etc they all bf their children for quite a few years, which begs the question why does the western society see it as wrong to bf after 1 year or more.
I only bf for 6 months, I kind of wish I could have kept it up but DD just refused me in the end. Probably because she was getting formula as well at about 4 mths as I couldn't express enough for when I went to work one day a week. No matter how hard I tried:(
We had a mother in our group who was asked to leave because she was bfing her dd so we all (9 of us at the time) went to the coffee shop she was asked to leave from and bf our babies to make a statement. The manager never came near us hehe. :D
I do think though that older children bfing should be more discreet. Only because of the weirdos out there and the closed minds of some who think it is child abuse.
This only my opinion.:)
jarrahsmumma
06-02-2006, 08:57
The global average age to be breastfed until is four years old. It is really only our silly developed countries that do not breastfeed until term.;)
Emily's moocow
06-02-2006, 09:48
Why do people seem to think its their god given right to make judgements on what other people are doing. As if it is their business anyway.:mad:
I was sitting here reading all these posts yesterday when an acquaintence showed up, I wont call her a friend because shes not. My DD Emily who is 17 months old walked into me and asked for titties, so I propped her up and let her at em. The disgust and the rude comments (which I cant repeat here) blew me away. :mad:
Now I must admit sometimes I wish she would have a drink of something else :o but thats my call not some goose who thinks BF is disgusting. If she doesnt like it she knows where the door is!
Now that I've had my whinge I'm off to browse some more:)
Rainbowbrite
06-02-2006, 11:33
Well I went back to my mothers group last week after a few weeks off & found out i'm the ONLY ONE still bf :eek: They all agree that their "baby's" are too old to be bf :( I picked up MJ, and bf her then & there :p They then asked me when we're stopping - I said when MJ is ready :D
I've decided that i'm going to go up to my clinic this week & spend the morning at the breastfeeding support drop-in. Hopefully I might run into some other mums who "still" bf!
RB
I've just finished reading all your stories. Isn't amazing in a first world country we have such uneducated people who are scared to use their boobs for what they were designed...
And the truth is, do whatever makes you and your baby/child happy. Let all those people with opinions raise their own children, not yours.
Ffrenchknickers
06-02-2006, 18:52
LOL@Maghan...:D
lovemybub
08-02-2006, 18:09
I say good for you Rainbowbrite! I think people are too busy these days trying to make their babies fit into their lives rather than taking their cues from their baby. There was a great article in this months Breastfeeding Association magazine about the benefits of extended breastfeeding, but I seem to have misplaced the magazine in my 'baby chaos' at the moment. If I locate it I might add a few choice quotes to my reply...
I fully intend to breastfeed until until our DD tells me that she is ready to finish.
And since you brought up the subject of cosleeping, I read recently (in a child development textbook) that in cultures where it is common for babies to cosleep with their parents, there are much lower incidents of night time problems like bed wetting, and phobias etc. Whilst we don't cosleep with our DD as a rule, if she's obviously unsettled we put her in bed with us, and then we all get a good night's sleep. I get mad when people talk about 'spoiling' your child by doing that. Who ever heard of a child that was spoiled by good old fashioned nurturing? Money, yes. Love, no. Babies only know what they need, not what they can get people to do for them.
Okay. I'll relinquish my soapbox now... before I really get started :eek:
willsmum
08-02-2006, 18:22
I only just read this thread. Thought I'd drop in my 2 cents worth. I fed William until he was 2 and only stopped because I got pregnant and he refused me - said it tasted yukky. Charli is 18 months and I still feed her.
And by the way, most of the time, we all co-sleep - yep, all of us piled in together. And it works.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.9 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.