married vs not married

[sara-jayne]

why did you choose to marry or not marry?
religious reasons, financial stability, shotgun weddings?
just curious as to why people choose to get married in an age where it is widely acceptable not to.

[sara-jayne]

we are getting married partly because it seems like the next logical step and so that if anything ever happens to one of us the other is in a more secure position leagly. and partly because i have dreamed of walking down the aisle in a white dress towards the man im going to be with for the rest of my life, since i was a little girl.

[Aquamarine]

We were married because I believe it to be a full commitment to one another.

I wanted my children to know that their parents were in a stable relationship and that we all share the same name.

We married because we are both Catholic and believe it to be the right thing to do. (For us)

[tru]

I totally believe in commitment and would have a commitment ceremony if felt the need to, but as far as legalised marriage goes - I just don't feel something that's meant to celebrate love should have a legalised contract attached to it. JMO. I'm also not a traditionalist and think the whole white gown, black tux, etc is so boring. I think it's great when couples celebrate their love in their own unique way, by inventing something new that really represents them, and not society. Again, JMO :)

[Ashleigh<3]

I don't believe that marriage is everything. Marriage isn't entirely a commitment on it's own.
It's actually the bond between the two people. Not the official statement.
For peace of mind, or whatever, people do it because it obviously gives them that extra feeling of bonding. Some people don't do it because they don't think that you have to marry to have love/commitment.

Personally, I want to get married not just because it sounds exciting, (pirate wedding!), we want to get married for more then one reason that I don't need to go into.
As far as I'm concerned everyday of my life is a wedding.

I don't believe in Valentines day either so I guess I'm pretty boring. lol

[Verdi]

Marriage to me is the official commitment to each other, and your letting all your friends and family know that. To me marriage is a loving union and not a burden, a union that is so special and that i want my family to be a part of.

[OJandMe]

I agree with Candyn.

It's all about commitment reasons for us to.

lol. I just asked DH.... he said... "commitment. We loved each other. And decided that we should be stuck together forever, and that no one else would have us, so we may as well" :laughing:

[shed]

We are getting married so we all have the same last name and everything is all noice and tidy.

When bubby was first born it was very important to me and I was a bit gutted that we weren't already married, but as time goes on its sort of becoming just another thing to do on a growing list. I don't really have the same sense of urgency as I did before, so we will do it some time this year, just whenever.

Looking forward to having a nice surname after having a bit of a weird one for most of my life.

[BoyzMummy]

We always said that we would never get married cause we didn't need a certificate to prove something to each other and other people but after a little research into the legal system following some health scares we found it would be easier to make legal descions for each other if we were married. It hasn't changed anything between us.

[Ana Gram]

I was going to get married but I have decided it really isn't for me and I would rather be single for the rest of my days.

[neostudded]

We are defacto we tell people we wont marry so they stop asking, but to be honest we dont know if we will or not.

[jaydensmum]

We got married when our son was 7mths old and i was 7wks pg with my DD. :D I have always wanted to be married to my DH. I suppose financial reasons stopped us for a while. I said to myself though that i had to get married before our DD was born. I just felt that it was the right thing to do! :yes:

[tru]

...after a little research into the legal system following some health scares we found it would be easier to make legal descions for each other if we were married...

Can you please share more about how it would be easier? I thought in Australia, hetero defacto couples that have been living together for longer than 6 months were the same legally as married couples???

[SairBear]

i havent been asked :laughing:

[Mummy2Noah]

We got married because Im a bit old fashioned when it comes to having babies after marriage and wonting babies young ment getting married young!! We have been married for 2 years now and wouldnt have it any other way!!!

[pegasus]

We got married for a few reasons.

It's my faith.

DH asked me

We wanted to commit to each other fully and felt this was the right way to go for us.

DH didn't get married to his ex who he has 2 other kids with, so I'm pretty sure he asked me as he felt he wanted to separate our relationship from that one and show he wanted this to be a lifetime promise.

I have no problem with anyone who doesn't, but I worry about people who want to get married, but say their partner doesn't want to and stress about it.

It was a mutual thing on our side. If DH hadn't asked me, I wouldn't have asked him (we did talk about it together), as if he wasn't on the same page as to how he saw his future (with me) then we didn't have a future together in my book. I wouldn't have wanted us to get married just because he felt he had to for my sake - that wouldn't have lasted.

[EskimoMumma]

TBH I just cant be stuffed.:o

At this stage me and DP are quite happy with where we are in our lives and with what we have to do. Right now we are concentrating on our children, our health and our finances.

A wedding is at the bottom of our to-do list.

So i voted we are defacto and not marrying right now :)

[Pippi Longstocking]

I think it's great when couples celebrate their love in their own unique way, by inventing something new that really represents them, and not society. Again, JMO

We kinda did that - when we were married legally :D

I never intended on getting married. No way jose, screw the patriarchy, I am not goods and chattel to be handed from one owner (my dad) to the next (my husband)...etc etc. I saw marriage as the ultimate entrapment.
And then I met Alain :D And marrying him felt entirely right for me. Nobody expected it from us. We aren't exactly the conventional couple. But it felt entirely right and all of a sudden, there was nothing I wanted more than to be married to him.
I love being married. It's never once felt constricting. The wedding itself was beautiful - I am very much in to ritual, ceremony and symbolism and the wedding was exactly that.
We didn't have a conventional wedding. I wore green, my bridesmaids wore white:D I had the choice for a wedding car - a Mercedes Benz or a multi-coloured kombi. Of course I chose the kombi! :p

[~mia&ryan~]

Marriage to me is the official commitment to each other, and your letting all your friends and family know that. To me marriage is a loving union and not a burden, a union that is so special and that i want my family to be a part of.
Same here... We want to make that formal commitment to each other in front of all our families and friends...Valentine

[Trumpet]

Can you please share more about how it would be easier? I thought in Australia, hetero defacto couples that have been living together for longer than 6 months were the same legally as married couples???

From what I understand is that if you are not married and something happens to you or your partner then the estate can be contested by family but if you are it automatically goes to the wife/husband.

Please correct me if I am wrong but that is what I was told and with family like ours we didn't want to take any chances.

[dreamer80]

We decided to get married, to make the commitment to spend the rest of our life together in front of family and friends in addition to make our commitments to each other formal and legal! For us it was the next step after five years of courting.Valentine

[mom2jake]

we got engaged 3weeks before falling pregnant:eek:

we'll marry once bubs arrives...not tradition at all, just our way:D

for us marriage is about commitment and love, if we weren't ready I wouldn't rush into marriage just because we were having a baby!!!

[MummyCharmzy]

Marriage to me is the official commitment to each other, and your letting all your friends and family know that. To me marriage is a loving union and not a burden, a union that is so special and that i want my family to be a part of.

agree completely :)

we are getting married in 5 weeks! :D